Behold, I say unto you, Nay.

And it came to pass that it was filled with hokey phrases that are supposed to sound scripture-y.

https://carm.org/book-of-mormon-testimony-eight-witnesses

Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, unto whom this work shall come: That Joseph Smith, Jun., the translator of this work, has shown unto us the plates of which hath been spoken, which have the appearance of gold; and as many of the leaves as the said Smith has translated we did handle with our hands; and we also saw the engravings thereon, all of which has the appearance of ancient work, and of curious workmanship. And this we bear record with words of soberness, that the said Smith has shown unto us, for we have seen and hefted, and know of a surety that the said Smith has got the plates of which we have spoken. And we give our names unto the world, to witness unto the world that which we have seen. And we lie not, God bearing witness of it.

Christian Whitmer
Jacob Whitmer
Peter Whitmer, Jun.
John Whitmer Hiram Page
Joseph Smith, Sen.
Hyrum Smith
Samuel H. Smith

https://archive.org/stream/marcopolo00polouoft/marcopolo00polouoft_djvu.txt

YE emperors, kings, dukes, marquises, earls, and knights, and
all other people desirous of knowing the diversities of the races
of mankind, as well as the diversities of kingdoms, provinces,
and regions of all parts of the East, read through this book, and
ye will find in it the greatest and most marvellous characteristics of the peoples especially of Armenia, Persia, India, and Tartary, as they are severally related in the present work by Marco Polo, a wise and learned citizen of Venice, who states distinctly what things he saw and what things he heard from others. For this book will be a truthful one. It must be
known, then, that from the creation of Adam to the present
day, no man, whether Pagan, or Saracen, or Christian, or
other, of whatever progeny or generation he may have been,
ever saw or inquired into so many and such great things as
Marco Polo above mentioned. Who, wishing in his secret
thoughts that the things he had seen and heard should be made
public by the present work, for the benefit of those who could
not see them with their own eyes, he himself being in the year
of our Lord 1295 in prison at Genoa, caused the things which
are contained in the present work to be written by master
Rustigielo, a citizen of Pisa, who was with him in the same
prison at Genoa; and he divided it into three parts.

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, it came to pass that thus saith the Lord, mine words are not written according to the wisdom of the world, but according to the wisdom of God, that the wise might be confounded, but the humble and meek of heart might be edified.

No, and hell no.

Except for the parts that were plagiarized verbatim.

Mark Twain has the best description to date of the BoM (especially the 'chloroform in print.'):

"All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the "elect" have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so "slow," so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle--keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate. If he, according to tradition, merely translated it from certain ancient and mysteriously-engraved plates of copper, which he declares he found under a stone, in an out-of-the-way locality, the work of translating was equally a miracle, for the same reason.

The book seems to be merely a prosy detail of imaginary history, with the Old Testament for a model; followed by a tedious plagiarism of the New Testament. The author labored to give his words and phrases the quaint, old-fashioned sound and structure of our King James's translation of the Scriptures; and the result is a mongrel--half modern glibness, and half ancient simplicity and gravity. The latter is awkward and constrained; the former natural, but grotesque by the contrast. Whenever he found his speech growing too modern--which was about every sentence or two—he ladled in a few such Scriptural phrases as "exceeding sore," "and it came to pass," etc., and made things satisfactory again. "And it came to pass" was his pet. If he had left that out, his Bible would have been only a pamphlet."

http://www.truthandgrace.com/twainbom.htm

Although the joke is often attributed to the late George Carlin, it was Mark Twain who noted that "Christian Science is neither Christian, nor a science."

The Book of Mormon, engraved upon metal plates, was dug up out of the ground in some out-of-the-way corner of Canada by Joseph Smith, a man of no repute and of no authority, and upon this extravagantly doubtful document the Mormon Church was built, and upon it stands to-day and flourishes. "Science and Health" was sent down from heaven to Mother Eddy, after having been sent up there by Brother Quimby, and upon "Science and Health" stands the great and growing and prosperous Christian Science Church to-day. Evidently one of the least difficult things in the world, to-day, is to humbug the human race.
- Autobiography of Mark Twain, Vol. 2 (2013), p. 247. Dictated 8 October 1906.

In the early 1830s, before the present day when the church's real time financial reports and statistical reports on lds.org likely trump it in correctness and completeness, the Book of Mormon was the most correct book on earth. We know that because Joseph, the holy spokesman for God, told us so.

I am just so grateful for the knowledge that all of you can learn for yourselves whether the Church is true or not just by learning how marvelously honest, truthful, and transparent it is on everything :)

Honest TBM, your posts honestly make me smile.

“All men have heard of the Mormon Bible, but few except the 'elect' have seen it, or, at least, taken the trouble to read it. I brought away a copy from Salt Lake. The book is a curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, and yet so 'slow,' so sleepy; such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print. If Joseph Smith composed this book, the act was a miracle — keeping awake while he did it was, at any rate.”

-- Mark Twain

Scripture-y! What a great way to put it. I love this for some reason. Makes me chuckle. Adding that extra letter says it all.

Joe was good at making things sound scripture-y. If he had been that good at plots and details and had better editors than Oliver and Sydney he might have really pulled it off.

It is plagiarised bigly.

And it came to pass that the Book of Mormon and religion proved to be false.

I felt prompted to relate that the Book of Mormon is filled with amazing passages full of eternal wisdom rich with doctrinal truths, and I would be remiss if I did not testify with every fiber of my being of the fullness of the Restored Gospel contained within its pages, and I humbly ask you to put it to the test of Moroni's promise, with sincere intent, and the truth of it will be revealed to you.


(And that's only about 10% of the mormon buzzwords.....)

Only 10%, but a good selection.

I love the Mark Twain quote, that is hilarious! And SO accurate!

I always wondered WHY if Joe Smith 'translated' the 'gold plates' in the 1830s that the language would be the same as the language used in the King James translation of the bible.

Why wouldn't it have been in the language of his day when he translated it?

Obviously to sound as Twain put it 'scripture-y' so that it had an authoritative ring for those used to reading the bible. They were already programed to equate that kind of speech with 'scripture.'

Hark! Verily verily I say unto the, that it came to pass that this work of scriptural fiction is herby declared to be utter BS. thus sayeth the lord on high, the god of abraham, the lord of hosts.

Wow that is VERY EASY to do once you get going with it! Maybe I'll write my own scripture book!

His position in the firm was to say "no" to people of some importance. Much like the Doldrums in The Phantom Toll Booth, his tortured communications and need for meetings and summaries of meetings and memos (MOU's) finally conveyed that no favor was forthcoming.

I once got a 1 page memo from him that tried to say: "We need to make a list of what to do." I didn't even work for him.

Why do you ask? (Didn't you already know the answer to your question?)