You could ask the same question of an ex-spouse. What do you do with all the things you know about someone you broke up with? I guess the only answer is 'warn the next guy.'

I guess you just file it away in your head knowing it made you wiser.

You never know when something might happen and you'll need that info from your mental file. :-)

^^^^that^^^^ !

Great question. I think I try to remember the devotion I felt in it and try to sensitively understand others, their devotions that are different.

Forgot it. Really, I was starving for attention growing up so I was a sponge in the cult, a diligent student in seeking knowledge. After leaving, I have forgotten a lot of junk. It was a waste anyway.

Use it for good instead of evil...

A couple of years ago, a "born-again" christian I worked with was trying to convert me from my evil atheist ways. As we were discussing various things, he tried to use as "proof" that the bible was the absolutely true, infallible word of god that "Genesis is the oldest writing in the world!"

I snickered. Loudly.

"What?" he asked.

"Not even close," I said. "Genesis was composed around 500-600 BCE. There are many thousands of written records far, far older than that."

He refused to believe me. So I told him to google it, and told him to ignore Wikipedia and such, but to only use "christian" sites.

He went away for about 20 minutes.

Then came back, and said...
"Well, OK, it's not the oldest writing -- but it's still absolutely true!"

"Go read up on some of the other things you believe are true," I said. "You'll find out that your belief isn't based in fact, but in lies."

About a year later, he had left his evangelical fundamentalist church, and become a "liberal" Lutheran. Because no more bible literalism. It's a step in the right direction :)

I worked with a lady who honestly believed there was no written language until Moses wrote genesis.

I've had fundies tell me that same thing.
Ugh.

Most of the world is religious. Understanding that thinking is critical to operating in the world and interacting with it's people.

Knowledge is a good thing.That includes knowledge of religions even if you dont believe. It helps you understand others and it helps you understand history, culture etc



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2017 09:58PM by bona dea.

We haven't been active in any church for a while, now. We attended a Presbyterian church for a while that reminded me of the one I grew up in, but they decided to start services at 9:30 on Sundays, and that is just too early for me. I'm retired now, so I choose not to be too disciplined any more. I like it better this way.

I like the feeling of belonging to a "community," but if I don't really feel at home there, what good is it? I don't believe much of anything in the religious line any more, so what's the point?

I have come to terms with not being a believer. I don't make a big deal about it, as DH is still closet TBM (or at least Christian - he has seen too many holes poked into Mormonism.) And I wouldn't hurt him, for anything. I respect his right to believe, if it comforts him. I love him too much to let religion come between us.

Every part of life is used as a learning experience. I may forget specifics, details, etc. but there is always something important that I needed to know. My religious knowledge and experience is not just with the LDS Church as I was a convert. It is a bank of information that is used to protect me from anyone using it against me or trying to persuade me. It's mostly, informative. Knowledge that helps me understand my fellow human beings.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/22/2017 05:56PM by SusieQ#1.

to me what you bring from your religion / religious experience

for instance,

substitute other reading of similar experience for reading scriptures;
if you were one that usually read your lds scriptures early every morning alone , then substitute another dry item to read in its place (say, Wikipedia, Euclides Geometry, a dictionary column instead of a scripture column)

and if you were one that usually read your new testament stories before you fell asleep in bed, read a chicken soup for the soul excerpt, or novel on your kindle for a few minutes if you no longer want or choose to read excerpts of the New Testament.

substitute other thoughtful frozen motions for the pause, stillness, then climb into bed, or out of bed, or elbows touch table cloth as seated- in those moments, for kneeling and praying before going to bed and getting up- if you were one to pray on your knees, but no longer are a believer in prayer, you don't have to throw the routine away, you could kneel at your bedside or on a deck or platform in a child's pose or sit and breath briefly & clear you mind, or visualize, or elect to think of something you have thanks for.

you take something from your routine which was positive but change the meaning. some motions from your routine may be formative or anchoring routine events and you may want to remain in them, in calm flow. only you can change the meaning or items that are part of the actions.

the size, the width of a childhood triple combination or a quad,
in your hand between your thumb and the fold of your fingers-
see if there are notebooks which match that size and heft. See if you can sew a piece of leather or find one to buy, to put a tablet make up kit, or art pens or art pencils in - that is similar heft, similar weight, similar size, similar texture to that quad you carried...then when you reach for this part of your life, something you reach for and utilize all of the time, it has similar size shape heft balance and weight. you can shape it you can make it you can sew it. it can swing from a handle or be straight edged, it can have a zipper if you like, it may fold or it may just have an open edge- but it feels like the exact size of your quad in you hand.
The more things you regularly use, that are in similar size style and shape, you can make this muscle memory, this physical safety grounding thing which used to be the quad, carried,
part of your now.

I don't know if the heaviest 300 dollar glass screen kindle has the feel of a tiny quad in your hand, but i have heard it is heavy, and that might satisfy when the case is flipped oven open like a book. What I do know, is, you are looking to implement routines and relaxing casual memories and actions in a positive way and carry them into the present.

its kind of like transitioning from young women's girls camps big lists of things to bring each summer & gathering supplies, to making your own lists & gathering your own supplies for camping but planning your own trips instead of attending ward or stake camps. you don't throw away your camping equipment, in fact, you may even upgrade to a better stove or camper trailer instead of the old ward tent but add a good french press.

if you really integrated who you were with being lds, then ripping your flesh off your bones to regrow doesn't really make that much sense. Fileting the painful mormon parodoxes out of the flesh like fish bones that were choking you sound better.

with mormony life, to the degree it means self care and skills and budgeting clean laundry or dishes, I wouldn't just toss it. I'd adapt it. Think about reading, just because you used to read lds prose or lds scripture manuals doesn't mean you'll refuse the skill you secured growing through being a human being who was once, lds. you'll expand. instead you'll expand skills; reading on line articles, professional journals, see you tubes tech manuals, reading, analyzing, basically everything you want to but scriptures.

and AWE. awe of Yosemite & ocean waves love & night skies
succulents cactus clouds and nature, instead of sung chorded choreographed monthly testimony ah jeez moments expressing something. awe. of green rocks. geodes. mineral crystals edges that they exist and glint fracturing the light. awe. keep it. Reassign it. look for roses. patterns in beauty of nature. awe. look for it.

Yikes I've been trying to forget and recover. But I also use it to help others.