He is a convert of 46 years and I quit it after a year. We are both over 70 now and this morning he says before he goes to church ( I'm knitting and watching CBS morning )that he has been thinking that I might not follow him in heaven since I don't follow him now.

What does it mean to "follow" a husband in Mormon heaven for gods sake? He is vague about what that entails. Any idea ?

The Mormon husband calls the temple name of his wife (after both are dead), and she follows him to Heaven. It's a ridiculous belief.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/23/2017 04:08PM by donbagley.

But he's also supposed to somehow pick her out among all the dead wimmens, and lift her veil, look at her face (now in an advanced state of decomposition) and say, "Yeah, it IS you. Just checking." It IS a ridiculous belief, as you point out. But to be fair, you don't want to R.U.N.N.O.F.T. with the wrong woman.

What's he worried about? Mormon heaven has polygamy.

Looks like emojis don't work here. Grinning
I'll remember that.

There is also a sexist aspect to Mormonism. In Mormonism, he is the head of the family and it is his wifes duty to follow where he leads. This sexist attitude is why there are no women in positions of real power in TSCC.

From https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities,"

While the father presides over the family, your job is to nurture the children. Your husband expects to preside over you at least in as much as you are to follow him.

BYU Boner, Excellent article. I'm printing it to share. Thanks.

It is not "heaven" for those being "presided" over.

OP, tell your hubby he can quit worrying, that you have no intention of "following" him to his heaven, but your hell.

Tell him you want your own planet.

Ugh. How annoying. but like others said, basically they believe that women can NOT enter their heaven (celestial kingdom) without a MAN/husband (in cases of no husband sometimes another man can act as proxy, dependent of course on your Mormon/tithing paying (emphasis on that last part) status).. the husband 'resurrects' the wife and 'calls her forth' by her secret temple name and only he (or another 'worthy' priesthood holding mormon tithe payer) can bring her back to life from the dead to dwell forever in all the 'glory' of the CK (glory= eternal servitude to the man who will potentially become a god and then you would just be one of many wife servants to him).. You wouldn't want to miss out on all THAT now would you? ;)

They also believe that if you don't make it to the CK, you could end up in the terrestrial or telestial kingdom (I forget which is supposed to be better, but one is still supposed to be heaven like, better than life on earth.. but I wouldn't trust a Mormon's opinion of what heavens are like as they compare them to things like going to their temples where they wear weird clothing and chant weird things and do 'anointing' on your privates and do 'work' by endlessly dunking people in water, anointing them, and chanting things)..

ANYWAY.. my point is that in the CK (celestial, highest kingdom) those people are supposed to be able to fly around and visit all of the other kingdoms, so wherever you end up he should be able to find you if he wanted, so what's he worried about?

That's how my ex-mo Aunt deals with her sister (my TBM mom) when she starts crying (literally) about who they won't get to be in the CK together (what and be wife-sister-slaves to some pervey controlling mormon god?) .. so my Aunt just tells her to stop worrying since she'll (my mom) will definitely be in the CK and will be able to go anywhere she wants so she can always visit my aunt wherever she is. :)

I am pretty sure most Mormons think of the CK however they want it to be and don't really think about it the way that Mormon doctrine spells it out, cause who would really want to go there if it turned out to be just like temple work forever?

Well sorry again. Good luck!

I would tell him that you are his partner, not his follower.

My opinion is that if there is an afterlife, you are with whomever you wish to be with. As a born-and-raised Catholic, I never had any doubt that I would be reunited with my loved ones. I would say that this point of view is common in the mainstream Christian churches.

Mormons believe in different levels of Heaven. As a devout Mormon, your husband believes that only he can pull you through the veil to the highest level of Mormon heaven -- the Celestial Kingdom. And that is only if you are temple married here on Earth.

I'm going to tell you a variation of an old Catholic joke (Catholics are actually rather good at making fun of themselves.) It goes like this:

A man dies and approaches the angel standing guard at the Pearly Gates. He is welcomed and ushered right through. There is a door off to the side marked, "Celestial Kingdom." The angel urges the new entrant to tiptoe quietly past the door. When asked why, the angel responds, "Because the Mormons think they are the only ones up here. We wouldn't want to disabuse them of that notion."

^^^^^^^^Summer nails it!^^^^^^^^

Here's the Salt Lake Tribune pierce n Mormon "Sad Heaven."

http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/4190887-155/op-ed-belief-in-sad-heaven-hurts

Tell DH that you'll call him an Uber so he can follow you! Very best wishes!

Summer I also believe if there is life after then we will be with our loved ones.
Shapeshifter, I can not believe a woman today would see this as desirable for eternity! I'll tell him he can fly down and see us ( four kids raised Lutheran with me)

Dee, how lovely that you raised your kids Lutheran! Even though I was raised Catholic, I was a member of a Girl Scout troop that was sponsored by the local Lutheran church. I was always warmly welcomed there and attended other activities with my friends, such as church suppers. As with most mainstream churches, no one was on me to convert. The pastor was the coolest guy ever!

It sounds like he still considers you to be a member of the Church. Even though you are 'inactive,' he figures that once you're dead, you'll know that the Church is true and will repent.

Then you're supposed to follow him when he calls you to the Celestial Kingdom.

I'm not inactive. I quit. Had the pious Bishop come to the house and try to get me to pray. He insisted and I kept saying no. Then I got up and left them in the room and went to bed. Dont know if name was removed or if I was excommunicated and don't care.

If you don't know, likely they kept you on their list as 'inactive'.. that's one more annoying thing about the LDS org, is that they like to view those as ever baptized as always Mormon, unless you actively resign or they actively excommunicate you. But if they did that they would be sure to tell you, so you have to assume they still think you are 'one of them' (but basically a sinner since you haven't attended all these years!)..

Btw, I am surprised your partner allowed the kids to be raised in a different religion.. so glad they were!

When he calls you from the grave using your secret mormon name you will stay in the grave because you are stubborn and have the spirit of contention.

And darn proud of it too. I have had to change so much from the trusting young girl who fell for him. Little did I know that he would be so needy and want this story to be true. To be honest he is a good man or otherwise we wouldn't have made it all these years.
The kids didn't like his church and without me there he finally gave up when they told him they wanted to stay with moms church. My daughter has memories of some woman trying to make her give a talk when she was four !

If he is really interested in what, at least the initial part of, the 'after life' is really like. He should go on the net or to a library and check out books of people who claim they have been there. I 'believe' most give a pretty accurate picture.

Many are written by average people (near death experiences, meditations, out of body experience, etc.) others are written by psychic mediums that claim to have communicated with the 'passed' for years so they asked about and have some idea.

Unfortunately, not even most 'mormons' based on my studies have mentioned hearing about or seeing the C kingdom, hell, or spirit prison while 'in heaven' by near death or other experiences.

Death will certainly cure his 'Mormonism' if you all have patience.

I guess he'll just have to wait and see what happens when you both die!

When I told him I was resigning, he actually cried and said, "But we won't be together in Eternity!" I told him that we would, if I had anything to say about it. Since then, he has attended a couple of other churches with me, and doesn't seem concerned about it any more.

Sometimes people get a little weird when they get old (I'm including myself in that one). You may have to speak to him in his special language, just to reassure him, out of compassion, recognizing that fears about the afterlife are straight from the Mormon Fear Factory. They are designed to make you pay 10% of your income for a plastic card. You saw through it, but poor thing, your husband still has the brainwashing shrapnel in his head. It might kill him to remove it at this age, so I recommend you say this:

Sweetheart, the scriptures show us how Jesus could look in people's hearts and because of that, he had the power to make exceptions. Like when they were going to stone the woman who had committed adultery. He looked in her heart and saw the whole circumstance of her life and told them that he who was without sin should throw the first stone.

Since Jesus is the one who does the judging, you are counting on him looking into your heart and seeing your years of service as a faithful wife. He will see the bond of love that you and your mate share and will decide accordingly.

OR you can be snarky like me and quote my favorite prophet, Ricky Gervais, who famously opined, "You came from nothing, you are going to nothing, so you haven't lost a thing, have you?"


Kathleen

I think that you should kindly look up from your knitting, and just say, "You're probably right." Then go back to Jane Pauley.

Why didn't I think of that! Perfect come back Cludgie :)

Tell him, "It will all be worked out in the afterlife."

I understand that Mormons are found of this phrase.

When my DH and I went in for our colonoscopies, as we were in recovery, the nurse told me she asked my husband what was my name? He said: "I don't remember, but she is an angel!" I laughed when she told me that, and I thought: for sure, he won't remember my temple name to call me out of the grave, and I have bad claustrophobia! Tell him that if he wants you to follow him, he better remember your name! :-D

So if families are forever, but everyone devout gets their own planet, galaxy etc, how do they manage the visiting arrangements?
Or is that what's really going on when astronomers tell us about stars colliding?

I'm confused - this celestial stuff gives me a headache

"No, my love. Last time I followed you to San Francisco, we ended up in Tenderloin."

"Didn't even make it to Haight-Ashbury!"

One of my friends thinks she's just going to visit me in my lower kingdom.

They always say they will. Then you put on tea and biscuits, and wait. But they decide to go see some other older, deader friend without telling you first. That's Mormons.

"Whatever will be loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Whatever is bound on earth will be bound in heaven."

Why worry about something that will take care of itself?

My parents were temple married, then later civilly divorced. Both remarried jack Mormons, who they stayed married to for the rest of their lives.

I had signs from both of my parents and step-parents following their deaths, they were in heaven. And with each other. Mom with her husband. And dad with my step-mother.

After mom died but before her husband did he used to tell me her spirit was with him constantly in the house they shared for over two decades. The same morning he died is the same morning I had the sign that her spirit was at peace at last, and free.

His message to me happened on the same morning that he passed away. I didn't hear he had died until two days later when my brother called to say his body had been found later the same day I had my signs from mom and him that they'd passed on to their reward. Mom had been deceased for 2 1/2 years before he passed.

Dad and my step-mom I had assurance they're together in heaven. That was dad's wish, she was the love of his life.

So the temple marriage of my parents didn't mean squat diddly in the eternal scheme of things. What mattered is who they were bound to in matrimony (real matrimony.)

...or who they simply wanted to be with.

Follow = serve him in heaven.