Today an ordinary bit of social interaction got me thinking about how different friendship is in the non-Mormon world.

I have two friends (both women) who don't know each other even though they live in the same city (and I no longer do). I met them under different circumstances, and though my world intersected both of theirs, their worlds didn't intersect. But I got thinking that they might like to know each other because of some things they have in common. So I messaged both of them, playing friend matchmaker.

"There's someone you might enjoy meeting. Here's a little bit about her. If you're interested, send me your preferred contact info and I'll pass it along."

They were both up for it, and now it's in their hands.

The way Mormonism is set up, "There's someone you might enjoy meeting" isn't really part of the program. Sure, it happens when Mormons aren't officially being Mormons, but not when they're part of the system. Because ChurchCo is set up like a business. Yet the church also wants to be the exclusive social hub -- but all neat, orderly and controlled, not casual, unstructured and BY CHOICE, like actual social networks. Crazy church.

The only time I heard, "There's someone you might enjoy meeting..." when I was a mormon was in the short 3-month time I was still mostly in the church after my mission.

And it was always somebody trying to get me married off and popping out little bound-for-baptism babies as soon as possible.

By "...someone you might enjoy meeting..." they meant a thoroughly indoctrinated TBM girl who'd marry the first RM who smiled at her and would take her to the temple.

Ugh.

Like you, I prefer the way of the real world. :)

True. I'd forgotten about Mormon matchmaking.

Same here.

Every time someone would say, "There is someone I would like for you to meet" or "Can I introduce you to someone" it was meant for the intention of setting me up. I'd always inwardly roll my eyes at this.

A friend (former friend now) went as far as to continue messaging me on Facebook telling me that I HAVE to come by and meet the guy that she tried to set me up with because, "He's a really nice guy."

Oy.

This reminds me of how friends from one Ward didn't endure when you were assigned to another Ward just down the street. In the real world if you become friends with someone efforts are more often made to stay in touch. Is it just me, or did others notice this also?

I remember moving to another town (therefore, another word) due to circumstances beyond my control. A friend (former friend...yes another one) had returned home from her mission shortly after. I would visit my old ward (quite a few times actually) and would continually give her my contact information, but she didn't bother to call me or email me. So I gave up.

...But when she got engaged, she calls me, wanting me to attend her bridal shower and wedding reception. Okay, thanks, but where have you been for the past year? Because I knew that even if I attend both parties, once she's married, we'll go back to the routine of not speaking, unless I visit the ward (where she'll exclaim, "I miss you!"). Happens every time. About %97 of the "friendships" I had were pretty superficial. "Friend" was just a label, and nothing real. Just in my experience anyway.

All my so called friends went with the church. Nobody I "thought" was my friend has called to see if I am even alive? Haven't been to church in 2 months since I 'saw the light of truth!' WOW! what a wild ride it has been for sure. Like a bad roller coaster ride, when you wanna puke your guts out, but don't. Can't get off the wild ride of discovering MORE and MORE Krap I believed in that ain't TWUE!!!!!

So, now I have to go forth, into the real world, with my shy, damaged goods self, and find new 'friends'. Where to start? I don't like cigarette smells or drink OH, so bars are out. The grocery store is a joke. Hiking and biking are OUT.

Today, I was accosted by a mild, mannered, African man, while in the lawn and garden dept. of wally world. As I rode by in the old lady buggy, he looks at me and says "do you believe in the lord Jesus christ?" I bobbed my head yes and he went on for 20 minutes, no kidding, of how jesus can do so much for me! He read to me numerous scriptures from his bible. I actually was listening to him breathe because he never came up for air or stopped! This approach will not work on me either.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2017 09:15PM by cutekitty.

So . . . you're saying that in the real world friends are introduced rather than assigned?

Mind Blown.

;-)


I've gotta admit that I still feel a little bit socially impaired when it comes to creating new friendships.

An elder missionary couple, 30 years ago insisted on setting me up on a blind LDS date. The guy was a malignant narcissist who was pure evil. Within two weeks I was ready to call the police. Never again. I don't need matchmakers in any kind of relationship. That's how I got into the cult, an invitation. Sorry, no thanks. I can manage meeting and finding friends on my own.