We had stake conference this morning. Most of it was the typical snoozefest (literally for me) of family history, hold to the rod, obey the prophets etc.

But the visiting GA made one cringe-worthy statement. He told a story of when he lost his car keys at a fair full of hundreds of people. Concerned, he had the thought that "Some of these people have to be Latter-day Saints, so maybe one of them would have turned in the keys"

So he and his family stepped to a quiet corner of the fair, said a prayer, and then approached a police officer. Someone had given the keys to the police officer and their prayer was answered.

Yep, miracle of miracles there was at least one other Latter-day Saint family at the fair, because no one else would have had the integrity to turn in the keys.

This hurts to read. :(

There are so many, literally millions, of people, all over this planet who are doing their very best, every waking moment of every day, to make this world a better place, for everyone, and in every possible way.

To stubbornly ignore this fact, and to think this is only true of that teeny tiny minority of the world's population who happen to share the same religious beliefs as you do, is indefensible.

This man may pass his periodic vision tests for his driver's license renewal with no problems, but in reality he has opted to live his life without sight.

What a dick.

I was thinking asshole but what's the difference? GA by definition means dick. Lying for the Lord has its own special reward.

With so many of these miracles from prayer, we all know that mormons are God's favorites. But, what I don't get is why doesn't the profit pray weekly for the Powerball numbers? They wouldn't need tithing and members wouldn't be financially stressed.

n/t

And the police officer was...a gawdam episcopalian!!

As an Episcopalian, I "resemble" that remark :)

The story is wrong on so many levels. Did the policeman ask the finders of the keys their religious preference, or did the storyteller just know by his heartburn that the noble key rescuer had to be LDS?

It was a Book of Mormon reenactment "fair"...and by "hundreds of people", he meant "seven"...and by "police officer", he meant his brother-in-law that was portraying the chief judge...after the prayer he remembered that he had given the keys to his brother-in-law because he was the only one with pockets...because the GA was running around in a loincloth...

Nice to see that God spends so much time finding people's car keys while people are starving though no fault of their own.

Their God's priorities suck.

Wow...

Way to go! Sometimes I feel Mormons live on a different planet (hehe) and only Mormons do good things.

I wasn't there, but I'm willing to bet that this GA lied twice when telling this little story. First, I wouldn't doubt that this GA lost his keys. I've seen many individuals arrive in a public venue and flop down their personal affects like it's such a heavy burden to properly keep car keys in a suit or trouser pocket. I seriously doubt that he looked for a quiet spot to pray. I can easily see him ranting and raving that he misplaced his keys. Secondly, there were probably more non-members around, but of course that would get in the way of his Mormons are so honest story.

What if the police officer was gay ?

The moron prayed for his misplaced keys like his moronic followers. As a result of his moronic prayer a fellow moron gave the keys to the nice policeman.

Meanwhile, in Pocatello, a young moron was tricked into joining a motorcycle club. He moved to LA and gave up moronism. His younger brother, a moron missionary, was magically guided to the biker's house, whereupon he saved the former moron with fresh moronism.

Praise the moron lord.

Now if he could just do something about his tunnel vision ....

Oh wait, that would take an act of heaven !!!!

paulk Wrote:
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> "Some of these people have to be Latter-day Saints, so maybe
> one of them would have turned in the keys"

How disgustingly arrogant, yet entirely Morgish, is this statement? What an asshat this guy must be. As somebody else has already pointed out, certainly nobody else, other than a Morgbot, could possibly have enough integrity, or honesty, or empathy for their fellow beings to turn in a set of lost keys.

How could anybody with a conscience make such inane statements? Thinking that a loving God would have nothing better to do than help some asshat find a set of lost keys...certainly no starving kids to feed; no sexually abused youth to save; no homeless young family to shelter...right?

This reminds me of a bishop I knew a few years ago: he was older, retired from the military, and a successful business executive. His wife was a "kept" woman, so she never had to work. They had several adult children who lived locally, and, as a result, quite a few grandchildren local as well. My family was very young, and we were living paycheck-to-paycheck. So the bishop's wife gets up every time there was a Fast & Testimony meeting and give a travel log of their most recent extravagant vacation...but that's not the worst part. When the grandchildren got restless, Mrs. Bishop would hand out $20 bills to the grandchildren for them to "play" with. The rugrats are defiling somewhere around $100 in twenties and there are several young families sitting around me probably thinking: that $100 would buy us quite a bit of food; or, that $100 could pay our electric bill for the month; etc.

So many TBMs think and act like God is only out there to help them find their lost keys...totally oblivious to the real-life situations going on around them...

I've "lost" more than many people will ever own... and there [obviously] weren't any Mormos around when these multitudes of situations (losing a tool or knife, keys, sunglasses, pens, wallets [usually with $$$], coats, hats, hair, toys, bets, loves, time, trains of thought, etc.) occurred.

If someone is going to do the right thing, I want this person to be around. I don't care who they are or what they believe.

M@t

Gag.

The guy has to be really out of touch with reality to hear himself tell that story and not recognize that there was something wrong with it.

My niece was substituting in a California high school and lost her keys. They were found and turned in by a kid who would have been considered one of the biggest troublemakers on campus. The kid may have been unfairly labeled, but it's also far more common to turn in keys that one finds than the cringe-worthy GA realizes.

It's this sort of mentality that can turn non-Mormons and exmos into pariahs among their Mormon neighbors. Because evidently only the Mormons can be good, decent, honest people.

I found a wallet a few years ago at the San Diego County fair. Laying on the ground, full of money (about $300).

I picked it up, looked around to see if somebody was walking around looking at the ground trying to find it, and not seeing anybody, I headed for the lost & found.

As I walked up, there was a man there asking if anybody had found his wallet and turned it in. I interrupted, and asked him his name (I had already looked at the drivers's license inside). He told me, and sure enough, it was his wallet. I handed it to him, and the first thing he did was count the cash. After seeing it was all there, he thanked me and said, "I'm so glad it was found by a good christian man!"

I smiled.

And told him I was an atheist.

Then I walked away as he sat there sputtering.

he belittled you when he assumed a religious reason for your handing in the lost wallet. he did not account for the fact that perhaps it was your own idea to return the found wallet and not some religious obligation you were fulfilling - you were doing it out of the 'kindness of your own heart', as they say.

Glad you told him you were an atheist - he should give people more credit for being 'good' or 'ethically pleasant'. Wonder how much he would have spluttered had you said you were a stanist?

One more manifestation of the special combination of the unique Mormon arrogance/ignorance. Or would that be "infestation" rather than manifestation?

I feel bad for the youth that heard this and bought it and are being dragged ever further into the heart of the cult.

Can you share the name of the GA who was visiting? That would add a lot of credibility to this experience.

It was Elder Hugo Martinez. Trying to be objective, English is his second language so maybe something didn't come across as he intended. But he did say it.

I am so sorry that you feel that you have to sit and listen to such tripe.

And it's a damn wonder that there are any Mormons at all driving on the roads, what with their losing their car keys every time they turn around.. :-)

Where do Mormons get their writers. I always picture their wives looking at them and thinking - I don't remember that. They must think they are losing their minds.

and so I grew up with a brother I worshiped who had long hair and smoked and drank.

So when I was driving through the desert between Las Vegas and California with 5 kids (oldest 18) and it was dark and my alternator was going out, I, too, prayed to myself that I would make it to a safe place. In YERMO (anyone know that place), I could tell I had to pull over. There were a few places of business, but one was this little old gas station. A guy with long hair came out of the building in the back and another guy came out of the station.

One was a homeless drug addict who they allowed to live out back and work for them. The other was a marine who worked in intelligence in San Diego but came up there on weekends.

They fixed my car and wanted NO MONEY. I had to completely trust them as I had to ride with the marine to Barstow to get an alternator. My nephew rode with us. He was about 14. He wrote a story about that night--my nephew did.

I made sure they took some money.

Neither were mormon.

I hate these stupid stories they come up with for faith promoting experiences. I was shocked by what Steve Benson said about Neal Maxwell's and I believe Dallin Oaks' spiritual experiences they shared with him. It was a post on here many years ago and I know he has shared it again since. If that is all they have, then they have nothing. Ordinary church members have better stories than leaders do.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2017 11:31AM by cl2.

He told a story of when he lost his car keys at a fair full of hundreds of people. Concerned, he had the thought that "Some of these people have to be Latter-day Saints, so maybe one of them would have turned in the keys"
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What the hell else could the finder do with them? Try them in every car in the parking lot where "hundreds of people" were parked?

Exactly. It isnt as if the person who found them would benefit in any way by keeping them.

What sickens me, is that the sheeple don't even stop to think what's wrong with stories like that.

What a special blessing that God helped find his keys.. Too bad God couldn't loose the car keys of the asshole who drove his van into shopping crowd in Spain... Or London.. Or all those other places. Maybe the victims of those events forgot to find a quiet spot to say a prayer... I guess God only gets keys lost to test the faith of good little Mormons in the USA.

Not to mention the arrogance and insane judgment passed on everybody who is not lds who supposedly wouldn't dream of returning found keys... Nope.. They just sit there and nod and smile and marvel in the feeling of special..

There is so much wrong with stories like that I can't even begin.. And then they wonder why I'm still angry...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2017 03:06AM by Becca.

Here's a made up story that would be fun to tell in fast and testimony meeting: Years ago I was so happy because I had earned a quarter mowing lawns. I excitedly walked to the chicken store to buy myself a piece of chicken, but when I got to the counter I realized that I had a hole in my pocket and my quarter was gone. I found a quiet spot and prayed to get my quarter back. Just then I saw a man outside stoop down and pick something up, it was my quarter! As he approached the store I knew god was returning my precious quarter through this good man. Then...that asswipe stepped up the counter and used my quarter to buy himself a piece of chicken!

You know there was that story in the Old Testament where one prophet was going head to head with the priests of Baal. When it was time for the Lords prophet to find the keys, he taunted the opposing priest by asking them to hide the keys extra hard to find, even with a blind fold on and his ears plugged while he was subjected to annoying nagging and his back to the alter. Sure enough, that prophet was able to offer a single prayer and find the keys. He even found the keys of those in attendance, and the keys of the priests of Baal. Surely, one of the greatest displays of Gods power as recounted in the Old Testament. (1st Kings chapter 18 as I recall.)