Posted by:
The Holiest of Molies
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Date: August 18, 2017 03:36PM
So I get an email from the bishop that he will be teaching the priests about the 'law of chastity' and he finds that it is better when the fathers are present. I have no effing reason why it would be better with the fathers there. I'm hoping my boy is sick Sunday just so he does not have to suffer through that hour of mental stuntingness where he will get the proper instruction to be a kick start his self shaming and misery. Rhetorically I ask what does he think he will actually cover which these boys have not already heard?
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In other news, I marveled that my wife still has me so trained still and afraid of my shadow. I started watching some of the Playboy series on Amazon. The history of that mag is kind of interesting. I started watching it for the boobs. I'll be honest about that... Anyway, I saw it and other risqué things in my Amazon history and freaked out... What is she saw that? I hate that I'm scared of her about that. I had a post years ago about that subject.
I watched the movie Don Don (I think) about the guy who had the porn interest even after banging hot chicks. The power position that the girl tried to assert over the guy is kind of insightful to a simitude of this Mormon human condition. I see that my wife has this over me. I hate it. I don't want to be a dick to her, but there is no room for me being authentic in our relationship. I just told myself volumes with that statement.
One thing I have come to realize about myself is that I am GOOOOD at suffering. I can take mental angst with the best of them. I have learned how to function in misery and how to hide who I am and what I really want out of life even post faithfulness. I just did a little self help. Thanks world.
Wife was telling me about some non-member who wants to go to early morning seminary. I asked why someone would do that to themselves? This sent her into a testimony flurry. I realized that the "testify" mode is to get the last word in and have it be as non-refutable as possible. That's BS. I said some very blunt things about how toxic the church is. She surprised me as she replied sarcastically that I know what is best for everyone. I maintained that I did and that I was the fountain of all knowledge. She mocked me, until I said wait no I don't know anything or care about running anyone's life, then pointed to how she is guilty of exactly what she just accused me. She thinks everyone needs to be faithful members. She could not see her hypocracy. I got really turned off by this. So ridiculous..me and her.