Today I (don't know why)remembered that less than 1% of the world's population is actually mormon, so then I was wondering what if all the people in the world were TBM's. Of course I reach the conclusion that the world would be everlastingly boring but then I started making jokes and I thought some funny things about it such as:

*The words "only child" wouldn't exist.
*Morgan Freeman wouldn´t act as God.
*There would be "Tapir Races"
*People would have a "suicide pill" to be used in case there is a risk of losing chastity.
*All newspapers would have a section about marriages.
*Pillsbury doughboy wouldn't exist because he makes temple clothing looks ridiculous.
*Yoda wouldn't exist because he/it makes SWK looks ridiculous.
*The Moon would be seen as a superior planet that can bleed.
*All guilty Pedophiles would be sentenced to death by execution by a Mob of angry masons.
*People would breed cureloms and cumoms because of their usefulness.
*John Lennon would have said "We're more popular than Joe Smith".
*Jell-O's share price would be higher Than Apple's and Microsoft's.
*Martin Harris wouldn't be seen as a man who was so dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.


Humour wont cure all the things that mormonism had made in my life, but it helped a lot, my social life is not at its best but my anxiety problems disappeared :)

I feel yah my anxiety and stress are down considerably since i walked away. Even though it feels like the world is all mormon living in idaho, it gives me great peace that it isnt even close. It would be a dull world you got that right as dull as idaho and thats scary to think about.

Very clever! And, YES! I am a huge proponent of humor and laughter and it's ability to give us joy in life.
It takes the sting out of hard stuff, also.
I have often said; Mormonism is too funny to take seriously. Except when they are killing people, of course.

Really, think about those temple outfits. How goofy! I always felt like I was playing dressups in 1870's clothes, without the bustle! I was so annoyed by the clothes that I made my own white dress with elastic in the sleeves so I could push them up! I never took my earrings out of my pierced ears either.

One of the times I had to hold in a snicker was when the old geezers were changing their robes and pulled the sash/tie out of the whole garment. Then we all waited while a couple of guys helped him string it back in!

I used to get so tired of hearing the same stuff from the pulpit, I'd visualize the men giving a talk in their green apron, only! That was good for a snicker or two!

Some of the funniest stories are in the B H Roberts "Comprehensive History of the Church of JEsus Christ of Latter-day Saints." Psychics chased Joseph Smith in the woods, and other stuff that is a total crack up!

And don't get me started on the men's Ice Cream man Hats!

SusieQ, you've reminded me of when my dad saw himself in a mirror just after his first temple session. His comment, " I look like the head chef. "

Fun thread.

The list of funny, ridiculous things in MormondumbCult is endless.

Joey just happens to get an unbelievably wonderful revelation TIME AND TIME AGAIN right in the nick of time! He is either the luckiest so and so on the planet or perhaps the biggest ConMan around.

Take babtism for the dead. I think a wise goddess would be laughing her head off over this idea. I mean....those that are dead are dead and do not have a ratsass's say in the whole escapade down on earth. What if the whole dang bunch are screaming up in heaven that they do not want to be a member of Joey's silly scam of a church and the goddess is saying, "Very wise of you."

Then there is the tall tale that it took, let's see, eight, yes, eight tries for Joey to remember that he had SOMESORT of heavenly messengers (Jesus and God, just God, angel, some angels, etc>) come to him with the MOST IMPORTANT MESSAGE OF ALL TIME. He couldn't remember eight different times what exactly transpired? Seriously?

The DODO would be extinct,
OAKS would be a variety of trees,
And I would eat a PICKLE!

Good ol' Boner eats a pickle,
And my eyes begin to trickle,
Even though I'm just a loner,
Such a crush I have on Boner!

He's so clever and so wise,
He is perfect in my eyes!
I'd love to meet him some fine day-
But alas, I can't, so this I'll say...

Boner, you rock!