Posted by:
Paintingnotloggedon
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Date: August 23, 2017 10:06PM
When members find out you actually disbelieve they can be very afraid. We don't want our colleagues or administrators afraid or threatened / suddenly reacting with a visceral fear through perfecting rejection of culture self & religion. Worse some could decide different & rejecting gospel is beyond bad, that ideas are dangerous (for themselves, for their kids) they're so afraid of you. The l d s director of technology in my school district directly informed me this was how he felt when he understood that I disbelieved. Never use your district wifi on your phone or tablet if you post to this site, my district tech director (clearly active l d s ) thinks this is a hate site, and he stated that visiting it was the same as a civil rights violation in the work place. Several years back This in a place where I was contacted by dept chair, site admin after questioning the ACLU to raising consciousness on site among curriculum team members after colleagues shared real video of person of a certain race by run over by a vehicle saying it was funny and encouraging student laughter, sharing it at staff table, all found it fine & my reaction over critical. The dept chair and teacher said it didn't matter if no one of that race was in room, but what the idea of it, and what about a safe work place, and what about the mixed race students in the room? And students of all races told about it by students in the class ? So, be careful, because apparently this website is more threatening and considered more hateful by my district l d s technology director, than a teacher showing an off topic non curricular actual video with out a consent form of a someone in Americas of another races actual death saying they thought it was funny (the teacher was attempting to hate and demonstrating a lack of compassion, even, possibly sadism and attempting to share a real death scene as a form of sadistic humor. My colleague said There was no assignment attached to it and she stated It was off topic, which she intended as a joke for class. (she was practicing some religion at the time, sending her child to Catholic school.) the admin who handled it not so well, left requested by attorneys on another issue several years later, so in hindsight That adminmight already have been mishandling situations. Then Technology directors l d s or not, usually care a lot about legal things like that but not as much as personal use of ones own electronic devices on this exmormon.org website.
Look with colleagues like that, you just can't win/ they apparently are nor philosophers, despite what religion they profess, they may not be compassionate or avoid the suffering of others. They may be predatory towards those with whom they disagree, might pride themselves in being strong or competitive that when one of their own leads them, goes to expensive events, gets new computers or art supplies purchased, sits as lead teacher on a grade level or gets a stipe end opportunity- that person wins for all of them (the lds, or the open marriage crowd, or the former cheerleaders or the former local elementary school graduates who work on site/ your success represents them. Opportunities to lead train get materials stipe ends may be competitive and you'll no longer be supported by that group.
Religion may not repress, but it does not make nor express to outsiders : kindness compassion patience cooperation collaboration . You do not want these people turning on you.
Further I watched and saw my being l d s mattered not to one admin, but was exceptionally evil to the former pentacolstal minister / that even when I shed the l d s religion I was still so labeled by it for those who disliked it (to the degree I didn't convert submissively to their religious culture or even irreligious life style) concurrently persecuted by some current mormons. People always see things through their own eyes, their own culture, what you do and who you are only has meaning through what they believe. Being around majority l d s I have never done, but know that when they see you no longer stand with them some will think you are against them as individuals. They may have been fellowshipping as what you perceived as colleague friendship. All of them, from every group, at once. They might even be competing for you, want to own you or have you be "just like me". It's a great compliment, I guess.
If I had it all to,do again I might bring my recommendation credentials skils and make a clean break simply meet new colleagues as I stood, not l d s instead,of a collage of l d s shared memories and new values defining me with the same people.but that's pie in the sky and not what I did.
If your colleagues are very young still need to be right, then they might be too immature to accept you if they can't see themselves in you
Coming out of your religious culture with staff abruptly just because it's your legal doesn't mean you want to ever assert those rights in court, have to document, pay an attorney, and work in an adversarial environment. It's not that you shouldn't have To, you don't to.
You don't want l d s parents afraid to have their children in the apostates classes, or worse to experience a witch hunt . Frightened people do crap like that. I would want to avoid it. But your face book, your activity all will come out there is no commute long enough
So I'd want to desensitize people to changes in faith to focus on secular and professional agendas.
I might stop giving explanation and treating time with colleagues as teaching moments giving reasons about anything, so no one thinks they can negotiate with you about your thoughts beliefs or mind. A person who gives reasons is apparently open to debate or conversation contesting their reasons. Your reasons are private, you just are as you are. You pose the desire for people to accept you. Don't ever apologize for things that are no mistake which another disagrees with &if you do apologize frequently and yield to the team a lot, then desensitize colleagues to a non apologetic non submissive form of yourself .... because being not Mormon with them is not submitting to their culture.
By the time I was done transitioning as a educator since my Mormon world view, purpose, generated my career...by the time I had transitioned I was first advising my own children to seek a different life.... someone who met me recently stated "you were a very bad fit". I'd have left before I found that out!!!
My spouse is a very vanilla athlete & teacher coach supervise high school football games, large crowds, fund raise rotary club sickie CEO club chess club wrestling team so many clubs teams , directed student teachers overseeing new teachers for decades ,...in my opinion no body blinked when he changed religions . No body knows notices cared ...he'd always gone to mass with his favorite men after school one day a week it was a social thing. Who cared if he wore garments as long as he sported that school color ...
I don't understand why it's so different for women or different people, but it is. It's a segment of people (I was one) who,unify based on church or church role, or shared memory, or collaborating on life or something.
My husband talks about his love of sports with other sports people, of coaching episodes with coaches, of trees and drought or weather impact on plants in the 70s when talking with other Agriculture credentialed folks about their plants and irrigation classes or time in the farm. He talks about Diesel engine repairs with mechanics ...it's just like he keeps staying on topic, he relates stories of that topic from his past, to the topic of that moment. It's like a concrete noun event centered communication only seque to the same concrete noun event past reminicices, then back to this moment same concrete noun event in this moment.
Try that. My husbands good at that, always has been, gets others talking with a indirect statement or pause tilt partial question "what did you " - then the person starts sharing. Just like that.
You try it.
We need more of that and less Mormon belief re iterating labeling I am conforming are you conforming you can value me see I too conform like you - it's like mirroring each other on a variable or tangent. I don't know if it's more frequent with women. Or tribe. Or collective. Try that, try that other thing.