please, only honest in the below answers. if you regret leaving etll me if you did. I left about a month ago, an d I regret nothing. I ti s the best thing ever. My wife still loves me. The ward is being respecytful. My mom diddn't mention it at the very least. Nobody is telling my tbm wife to leave me.

I am an attorney. 30 years old. And I left nice and early, at least compared to many on this bored. I wasn't dumb and waited until 50 to check things out. I checked things in our history nice and early, and it ttook me 5 years to leave. I love FAIR. They gave me 5 years to believe and leave slowly. I think that saved my married


my wife is pissed, but is showing great love to me. and her ishop actually told her to not leave me, unless I abusive =or some other reason. That we are married forever.

Anway. I have no regrets. I was uber TBM. so tbm that I was banned form this site. bugt who cares I am out. but I am out now with no regets. Is that normal. SHould i regret leaving. I thank fIR and DAN PETERSON AND SCOOT GORDON FOR MY LACK OF REGRETS.. I gre up literally playing in Scott Gordon's yhard. He is one of my all time faorivte people. BUt he is defending a lie. A lie that he believes is true, but it is a lie. BUt it is his choice.

but I have left. I don't regret anythin. anybody else regeret anything. Is it normal to rehgret and I missed the mark. I just love not having the cognitive disonnance, aamd ot was bad. IO used to get headaches for 15 years trying to figure out cHRISTIAN DOCTRINE. jESUS IS A FOOL. His doctrine makes no sense. Y him I mean Paul and the bible, and book of mormon and all thatcrap. I a an atheist/agnostic. I do not believe in a theist god, ug but hope for something more after this life, but do no t beleive in haven or hell.

anyway,. who has regreettting leavin. should I regre that. I don't, am I doin something wrong?

please forgive the above spelling/grammar, it is really late and I did no editning. am I doing it wrong.? I waiting 5 years. Leaned on fair. My tbm wife leans on fair and that is ok. She can believe and raise the kids tbm, as long as she doens't divorc eme My wife rocks. SHe is hot, and will not leave me, I think. But I Haave no regrets and she hates me calling hemy old believes/her beliefs nonesiense.

I was prepared to live as a hermit with no friends or family possibly forever. Instead, shucking off the church gave space for new friends, new experiences, and a more fulfilling life. I left fifty years ago. I'm not joking.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2017 11:44AM by Cheryl.

I think cheryl is right i was prepared to be a hermit as well but as time goes your mind starts to open up and become more free and stronger and a real life is waiting for you you just have to deprogram and then find it.

Exactly what Cheryl said for me too. Not quite fifty years though but inching up on it.

Sometimes i regret because im a total lone wolf in this town im in so not a lot of physical support but i have to remind myself there really wasnt any true support when i was in the church anyways. But other than that no regrets i get healthier and healthier as more time passes.

I regret that I didn't leave sooner. I waited for DH to catch up, which he did eventually. I wasted years and emotional energy dealing with church nonsense when I just should have said enough!

My kids would have been much happier. Not sure if my marriage would have survived. Maybe that would have been for the better if it had not. Who knows. That Road Not Taken still haunts me at times.

I regret not leaving soon as well. The first time I was endowed I knew it was nonesent, but I refused to leave, I didn't want ot hrurt my mom an dbisho. So I stayed with it. Went on mission, took a wife and kids into it. but now I cna't go back, it is nonesense. I will not believe waht I believed before, ot is crap.

Same here. The ONLY regret I have is not having left sooner and spared my kids some of the things they had to experience.

Ditto. I wish I would have left much earlier.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2017 06:58PM by Atari.

I don't regret leaving, I just hate being the one who has to tell other people that I am leaving (in my ward the people is generally old [60+]) and I don't want to make them suffer but I won't come back now because I know what TSCC really is

I left permanently 2 and 1/2 years ago. Unfortunately, I wasted many years trying to hang on, even though Mormonism wasn't working out for me. I blamed myself (as the LDS church teaches us to do) and kept trying to make it work. A couple of years before I finally left, I chose to do some serious, honest research. I researched and checked sources like crazy, not content to trust only a couple of sites. I don't think it is possible to do honest, thorough research and continue to believe in Mormonism.

Since you're a lawyer....man, I hope you dictate your correspondence. In reaction to your question....if you left a month ago you have no idea how this is going to play out. One thing for sure, it won't stay the same. Be prepared, as best as you can, for any reaction from your wife. Don't get blindsided if you can help it. One last thing...if your poor spelling, grammar, etc, was caused by more than just being " tired", cool it. That will make you lose your wife faster than the church thing.

I know I may have pissed you off; if I'm wrong, my apologies.

bobofitz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Since you're a lawyer....man, I hope you dictate
> your correspondence. In reaction to your
> question....if you left a month ago you have no
> idea how this is going to play out. One thing for
> sure, it won't stay the same. Be prepared, as best
> as you can, for any reaction from your wife. Don't
> get blindsided if you can help it. One last
> thing...if your poor spelling, grammar, etc, was
> caused by more than just being " tired", cool it.
> That will make you lose your wife faster than the
> church thing.
>
> I know I may have pissed you off; if I'm wrong, my
> apologies.

Agreed. When posting on forums, blogs, news comments, ect a quick spell check and a quick proof read is a must. If it was too much Dew and Vodka, then that's different story.

Just because your wife didnt leave immediately, doesnt mean it won't happen. On that same note it she hasn't left so there is hope your marriage could survive, time will tell.

Your wife sounds like she maybe putting on a braveface or bottling those feelings in. She could go into super TBM mode and try to compensate for your drop in activity. Or 6 months (or a year or 2) from now and your sex life frequency starts to drop, don't be surprised if she makes a comment about your lack of church activity has caused a drop in her mood.

If you're talking about Sheri Dew and Vodka, I'd need at least three shots.

I agree with bobofitz,
It isn't over yet.

Guy2, you sound very drunk. I agree with bobofitz -- that will make you lose your wife faster than anything with the church. I would be more cautious with your alcohol consumption.

My DH stopped believing before I did, but I stopped attending before he did. I was a primary teacher, he was ward clerk. He stayed longer out of loyalty to the bishop, trying to help get him through tithing settlement.

Neither of us regret leaving. We only regret not leaving sooner. We have felt nothing but relief and freedom.

I'm very happy our son was only 4 when I stopped going and kept him home with me. The brainwashing had already started, that early on in primary. I heard him walking around the house singing a new primary song, "The Family is of God" He was singing these words: 'A father's place is to provide, preside...'. It was that moment that I realized the Mormon church is even damaging to young children. That was 3 years ago and we haven't stepped into a Mormon building since then. DH went for about 6 more months and then finally stopped.

DH likes to drink. I wish he wouldn't. He loves to sit in front of the TV with Coke/whiskey. He doesn't get full-on drunk, but he has a few cocktails most nights. He has recently started drinking straight bourbon. I hate that he does it so frequently. It's not healthy and I hate the smell on his breath. If he were to get as drunk as you were when you wrote the original post, I would be very upset. And I'm not Mormon anymore.

While I like a good cocktail or glass of wine once in a while, I don't understand DH's fascination with alcohol. And if he ever gets to the point where I find it a serious problem, that would be a potential deal-breaker for our marriage. I won't tolerate substance abuse.

I would be very cautious if I were you. Your believing wife is not going to tolerate the drinking, especially if it impacts your interactions with others.

My general rule is I only drink on the nights I don't work the next day. ANd don't get drunk.

If you see the thread, tips for new drinkers, you will see that you shouldn't raise such concern over drinking. Too many here will get offended.

Leaving has been difficult for me. I have a TBM spouse and live in the heart of the Morridor. All my neighbors are active LDS. The church is all around me. I'll never completely rid myself of it.

Even though it's been difficult, I don't regret my decision for a minute. Leaving the church is the best thing I've ever done. And when I look back on my life, it's the only thing I've ever done just for myself. My husband thinks it's selfish. I think it's freeing.

No, I don't regret leaving.
And I left 3 months after my mission, at age 21 (now I'm 57).

I wouldn't call people who didn't get out until their 50's "dumb," though. We all have our own way out and our own path, no matter how long it takes. I'm glad when anybody gets out, no matter how long it takes them.

Since I left at 21, I could call you "dumb" for not figuring it out until your 30's -- but I won't :)

I should have left at 18, when I knew it wasn't true. BUt I just kept at it for another few decades. It was dumb.

guy2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I should have left at 18, when I knew it wasn't
> true. BUt I just kept at it for another few
> decades. It was dumb.

You can see that now. At the time I'll bet you didn't see it that well, or you would have gotten out then.

Same for me. I "knew" it was a sham before I went on my mission. But I went anyway. Tons of pressure to go, and I caved.

Recognizing our own "dumbness" is good. It helps us avoid similar mistakes in the future. :)

A few decades after you were 18, you were 30? Looks like yer 'rithermatic is as bad as yer book lernin'. My b.s. detector is on high alert. Why are you concerned with our decisions and our regrets? The OP headline was, " be honest, who regraets(sp)leaving, I don't ". If you're not trying to make a decision, what difference does it make what a bunch of strangers think?

Guy2, we don't care if you're still trying to figure this out, we're here to help you if you are...even if you're not a 30 yr old attorney with a hot wife.

Ive always wondered why a good chunk of return missionaries left the church right after they got home it was always curious to me. I went to college instead of a mission and weirdly enough thats when i started to realize it might have been a cult all along and they fact that no one talked about the temple made me even more suspious. When i was finally old enough to care what actually went on in the temple for myself i had realized i was actually raised in a cult the my entire upbringing and im still kind of in shock i knew something wasnt right when i was a teenager i just couldnt put my finger on it. I just thank god for a good counselor that has her head on her shoulders.

Elated after all these years. I regret the years I stayed. I regret the years I tried to make it work. I regret my years in leadership, and as a missionary. I regret accepting tithing from people. I regret participating in a "court of love," and otherwise judging people.

oh hell no.....

I don't regret it at all, but when I see how many times you ask if you leaving should cause regret, maybe you should take it a little slower on your departure. Once you are sure it's the right thing, you will never second guess yourself.

Take your time until the day comes that you aren't wondering if leaving is okay.

Best decision I ever made! Have never regretted it.

Given my brain type, I had to leave, so I don't regret it. Having said that, I have found if you apply the same reasoning to other areas of life, you will discover just about everything is a scam. And we all seem to prefer one over the other.

I do miss the church lifestyle. Many think when they quit church they are obligated to start drinking and get tattoos or whatever to prove their un-Mormon-ness. Which to me is just more cult behavior following the crowd.

So I'm less judgmental about Mormons, and don't see them as any crazier than most groups out there. I would go back if the church would cut out the religion, and the assigned callings and made it more about living smartly to avoid consequences, and supporting each other.

Ain't gonna happen.

I used to regret it, even though I knew it was all made up. I was really TBM, and a real asshole. If you have regrets at this point, you have to consider the possibility that you're still operating in asshole mode. Don't worry, it will get better the longer you're out.

I don't regret being out now at all. In fact, I hate the church for very sound reasons. It's not personal. TSCC really is that bad, the way it twists people around and uses them. It can't stand the light of truth, so it scurries to the dark crevices like so many cockroaches. My apologies to roaches.

I found your statement about folks who didn't leave the cult as early in life as you did highly offensive. Your arrogance is concerning. From the hubris dripping in your post it seems like you may have left the cult, but the cult has not left you psychologically and emotional. May I suggest long term cognitive behavioral therapy? It worked for me. Honestly.