At tithing settlement the Bishop pressed me hard for a post dated check since I didn't have enough money at the time to declare my tithing status up to "full" tithe payer. He promised not to deposit my post dated check for 2 weeks until I got paid again. He said I would make him look bad to the other Bishops of other wards unless he could get a higher number of full tithe payers.
Telling me to stop masturbating. And ive seen a bishop turn off the mic in the middle of a testimony on youtube. And not willing to help pay bills when you are in trouble, hassles you first and wants you to be a dog on a leash again to get any help.
This may not be the cruelest thing ever, but it was pretty awful for the people affected.
A women in our ward had been raped and was pregnant. She was a true believer and so was carrying the pregnancy to term. A man in our ward fell in love with her and they got engaged. They wanted to get married in the temple before the baby was born so that it would be born in the covenant. And temple marriages are super important for believing Mormons.
The bishop didn't doubt the woman's story about being raped (at least not publicly) and she didn't know her future fiance at the time of the rape, so there was no issue with there being some subterfuge involved.
The bishop admitted that the man and woman were both temple worthy, and yet he wouldn't let them get married in the temple because it would have "looked bad". They had to get married in the chapel and wait a year to be sealed. The couple was crushed.
This bishop was actually a pretty nice guy otherwise, and went on to some high church positions, including mission president and temple president. I don't think he realized the pain he caused, which could have been avoided with some backbone and a brief call to the temple president.
a**hole and easily, completely spoiled their big day by stating something asinine during the ceremony. Things like that stay in your brain forever. So it might have been better, after all. Who knows, though.
Excommunicate a believer and then deliver the news to the M. Priesthood holders as the results of a court of love. I'm told they no longer announce the excommunication this way.
This actually happened to me after I suffered a detrimental house fire. I wrongfully expected members, church leadership and the damn church to offer some type of help (financial, donated goods or support) but I got nothing in return. I was told from a counselor in the SP "that there were more deserving members that needed help. I was told to count my blessings and ask my family for help."
Yes, my brother had a very successful fire, it was caught quickly, some smoke damage and the whole house was cleaned by insurance, and he got a new furnace. Probably had not been that clean since the day he moved in.
Half of my house did not burn, but was damaged from smoke and water. So my SP said it was not a big deal and that I shouldn't be alarmed because I only lost temporal possessions. That's why I was told to count my blessings.
I've seen a destitute active member turned away because the bishop wanted to see her pay tithing in full for at least 6 months before he would lend any help. She needed help NOW, but he could care less... 6 months.
She left never to return.
It also happened to me while I was in transit and found myself stranded during a bad winter storm.
I contacted the local ward in the area and got the bishop's number, when I called, I got my ass chewed for not making an appointment first with the secretary, and then was denied any help at all and was told to find a local shelter, and then he hung up on me. True story.
As a mishie, I received devastating news that my former companion that I had sent home to Las Vegas had tragically passed away. His older sister wrote me a sad letter that he had developed kidney problems and had full stage pancreatic cancer. He had only been at home for 5 weeks when he succumbed to the disease after he served a 26 month mission (he applied for two consecutive one month extensions and it was approved twice! ~ he turned in a third one, but that one was promptly declined). The family requested that the local ward be notified of his passing so I obliged. The Bishop of the ward that I was serving under spoke highly of my deceased companion.
However, he later spoke harshly about this elder when we were by ourselves in the Men's room. It really caught me off guard. "It's a terrible shame about Elder Sanchez. You must feel awful." I agreed, but asked him why it was a terrible shame. After all, I was well aware as a mishie about how happy Mormons were supposed to be about the plan of salvation. Privately, I cried for my former companion. It was just cruel to die so young, I never bought into that HF needed him in heaven crap.
So the BP uttered the following garbage and it bothered me for a long, long time. "Elder the shame is that your former companion will never progress eternally. He failed to find a help-mate and marry in the temple. Moreover, he would also need to procreate in order to achieve full exaltation. His eternal glory will only be minimal; a servant serving the rest of us that achieve full exaltation."
I don't know if I was hurt from the loss of a friend or the annoyance that he truly believed a lot of dung from McConkie's crap doctrine. So I challenged the notion that God wouldn't have mercy and allow my former the opportunity to fall in love in the spirit world. He remained firm that my companion was doomed to remain a servant for all eternity.
And I added that to my shelf; which would later fall down.
Wait a minute! Matthew 23:11-12 says, "But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted."
How do Mormons justify personal arrogance in light of these verses?
I am guessing that the fact that his name was Elder Sanchez had nothing to do with why the Mission President was so convinced that he would become a lowly servant.
a good man can be called as a bishop and turn into a total ass.
I've told this many times. My good friend, very, very good friend, who was a bishop at the time, told me that the reason my husband cheated was because I didn't give him enough sex. I've asked several gay men since how much sex my ex would have needed to not want sex with men and they laughed.
The way the leaders treated me over the gay issue was horrible. My cousin was the bishop I had to get my TR from when we got married. He didn't know about the situation and I was a mess. He suspected there was a problem and he wanted to postpone my wedding. He made me feel like a piece of shit. He later found out the truth and ever since he tries really hard to be "my friend." Bullshit.
When I asked for help when I was financially devastated when my ex left, the bishop told me that it was the Lord's money and we didn't want to abuse it. I cried for days. But he did come through and give me help and he later apologized for how he had acted.
I know I've heard more, but can't think of any right now.
Then there was that letter I got from Boyd. Sure wish I still had that thing.
cl2 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- My cousin was the bishop I had to > get my TR from when we got married. He didn't know > about the situation and I was a mess. He suspected > there was a problem and he wanted to postpone my > wedding. He made me feel like a piece of shit. He > later found out the truth and ever since he tries > really hard to be "my friend." Bullshit. > > When I asked for help when I was financially > devastated when my ex left, the bishop told me > that it was the Lord's money and we didn't want to > abuse it. I cried for days. But he did come > through and give me help and he later apologized > for how he had acted. >
This probably isn't practical with many LDS leadership living in close proximity to family, but it's a bad idea in a faith where the [lay] clergy has actual ecclesiastical authority over the members within the jurisdiction, but effort needs to be made to move all relations except the spouse and offspring still living with parents out of the wards in which their close relatives are bishops. The same is probably true of stake presidency situations except that outside of the morridor it isn't practical to switch stakes, as there may be only one within a hundred miles.
With a relative as bishop, in a best-case scenario there is either real or perceived nepotism or reverse nepotism. It creates a conflict of interest from the onset. In a worst-case scenario, family members have far more knowledge of or control over aspects of each others' personal lives than is healthy, and even after the bishop is released, too much damage is done for the family ever to go back to the way thing were before. Bishops shouldn't have ecclesiastical authority over adult relatives. It's questionable even for them to have such authority over their own kids.
It was very uncomfortable. I don't think my mother got a TR the whole time he was bishop.
My younger sister decided to go on a mission. She had been kind of wild and inactive in her teens and this was a change that my parents were happy about. My cousin told her that when she had earned the money to go, he would let her go. She quit the church and has never been back.
My older brother was inactive for a long, long time. He had an aneurysm burst in his brain and he had 5 surgeries and a very bad infection. Lost the speech center of his brain when he was in college majoring in Russian minoring in German with 4.0 GPA. He was 42. He had been in the army in East Berlin interpreting for aircraft and translating Russian to English. He has never been the same.
After he recovered enough to go out and socialize again, he decided to go to an older singles ward in Ogden. He bought a suit and bought scriptures and was going to the ward. There were a lot of women interested in him. My parents even drove him every Sunday to Ogden and found a ward to attend in Ogden themselves as he has not been able to drive since his aneurysm.
The bishop called him in and told him he needed to go to the family ward he lived in in Brigham. He has never been back to church either.
That sucks right when i aged out the women started to be really interested in me because i wasnt boring like what they were used to apparently. But its been a huge blessing to have aged out it was the perfect excuse to make the beginning of my exit.
My physically abusive ex-husband's father beat his wife and his children, during the years he was a bishop and a stake president. His wife ended up in a wheelchair. After I divorced the wife-beater, he went abused two other wives, and his children. His son beat his wife, too. "The cycle of abuse." The father moved on to become a mission president, and taught at BYU.
Our SLC ward bishop dis-owned his son, because he wouldn't go on a mission. His son moved to California, put himself through college, got married, and their son became an excellent basketball player, and won a scholarship to USC. His holy bishop grandfather went on two senior missions, but he never saw one basketball game. He never met or spoke to his grandson face-to-face.
My nephew, in the bishopric, stole around two hundred thousand dollars from my family, and our family business. He was a con-man, and still is.
I have other heartbreaking examples of Mormon thugs in authority--and let me tell you what they all had in common--none of them ever were punished for their crimes! The Mormon cult condones and enables abuse, and the victims suffer in financial ruin, blame, and loss of emotional support.
Unless they get out of the cult, like my children and I did, and open their eyes to all of the lies. Just because the perpetrators go unpunished, the victims don't have to continue in the role of victim. We are better off without abusers in our lives!
Deny my tithe paying brother some emergency assistance when he needed it most and then call our father to ask him why he wasn't helping his adult kid out.
Yes i came on here just to say something like this, i was a full tithe payer and i needed financial help to pay bills but all they could do is give me a small amount of food from the bishops storehouse.
Told the Bishop that my then husband was habitually raping me and sexually abusing our children. Called him to the house in the aftermath of an attack on my daughter, there was blood on the floor,and other evidence of the attack.I left the abuser never to return. So the bishop swore a court affidavit sayingthere was absolutely no evidence of abuse in the family, called the ex to work with youth, renewed his emple recommend and when I moved told the bishop of the new ward that I was a man hating trouble maker who was not to be believed.
I was the high councilman on the stake welfare committee. One bishop went on and on, bragging about how he made sure that the church's assets were best used when it came to welfare. His example was a woman, who received Deseret food. She was recently widowed, and she fed the two dogs with Deseret canned beef. 'Tis butthole bishop made her get rid of the dogs in order to continue receiving church aid. He told her he could no longer trust her with church assets. Those dogs were her husband's, actually, and were a very tangible link to him. This blockhead bishop even told us how devastated she was about the dogs, but complied when he told her we all have to sacrifice in order to be obedient. Being the coward and fellow blockhead I was, I remained silent, but underneath I was seething. Hell, man, why didn't you just go every week or two and buy here a bag of dog food at Costco and help her keep that link to her husband? What a jerk.
That is so sad, and so unkind. The widow's pets may have been a great comfort to her. Regular (non-Mormon) food banks and shelters often accept pet food for just this purpose.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/10/2017 06:26PM by summer.
2 years ago, my then BP/home teacher came to visit. I had just gotten the results of an MRI on my knees. The doctors said I need double knee replacement, soon. Too many bike wrecks and sports injuries have taken a toll on my old self. My knees pop and to the floor I go, just that fast.
Dam if I know he wasn't listening!
He responded by telling me to "get a job at the high school", 2 blocks from my house. He says I could "walk to work." Did he NOT hear me say my knees are shot? Bone on bone articulation. How does he think walking a mile or so, everyday, in a high school would help me?
I did not get any welfare or ask for help from the church. If I couldn't pay a bill, I sure as hell did not ask for help and become a trick dog jumping thru hoops to get any help.
I would rather eat tuna from a can than ask for storehouse food. I would rather sit in the dark than ask for utility assistance. He did compliment me often for being 'independent.' It killed him because I would never cave in and ask him for help.
One time I received a phone call from the Bishop wanting to talk to me about one of the families I was assigned to home teach. He told me that the father was being abusive and had recently been released from jail after an episode of beating the hell out of his wife.
I was grateful for the heads up until he told me that my next lesson should be directed towards the wife on how to be a better wife and not cause her husband to beat her up anymore. I just never went back to their house again.
My wife and I were assigned to home teach a recently baptized couple with three small children. They wanted to have their children blessed in sacrament meeting. We made the arrangements and got the paperwork ready to go. On the appointed day, the branch president came up to me and said he was not going to allow the blessings, until the father had been to church for two months straight. I was flabbergasted. The branch president said that he might go to hell for it, but he didn't care, he wanted the man to come to church before we would bless his children. The little children came with white dresses and they were all ready for the big event, the Branch President pulled him into his office and told them the unhappy news. I don't believe they came back to the church after that.
How about a mission president that would inspect sister missionaries' personal grooming standards in front of everybody attending zone conferences?
He went one by one; giving each one a number rating from 1-10 rating according to the official grooming standards. From jewelry, hair styles, belts and choice of fabrics; these poor sisters were horribly critiqued. The top two violations in appearance were inappropriate footwear (open toe sandals were a big no-no) and not wearing nylons in Texas summers.
Oh, he was equally prick-ish to elders. My highest rating was a 6. My shoes were not polished, shirt wrinkled around the waist and my ties were too loud. I would deliberately wear a more outrageous neck tie for the following zone conference; just to see how low of rating I could get.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2017 05:21PM by messygoop.
Was in the hospital for a week with a bleeding disorder. When I got out I got food from the ward. One week later the food was cut because I would not work in the cannery
There was a member in the ward where I was who had a brother who was very anti-Mormon. Both brothers were on welfare and lived in the same apartment. This anti-Mormon guy had major health problems and had no money for medication. I was good at saving my monthly mission allotment or what ever you call it, and had $50 he needed for meds. The guy asked me for money and even though I felt it was a way to show what Christ would do by helping him get his meds, my companion was adamant that we follow the Mission President's heavy handed rule to not use our "consecrated" funds in such a way. After a brow beating by the companion, I "lent" the guy the money to satisfy the companion. I'm not sure if he ratted me out to the president over that. I was repaid, though I was not terribly concerned about it. Even when he gave me the money, I wished he had not. It felt icky to treat a person that way. Giving money away is not always the best thing, but in this situation giving the money seemed like the right thing to do. There was a bout 2 weeks where I felt like the MP was going to call me and bitch about wasting the Lord's money. That feeling helped me realize the church is just like Joel Osteen, but on a Giga-Church level.