In peeling the layers back on the onion of co-dependency, I was afflicted with an over sense of responsibility at 8 years old. I had an older sister who was supposed to watch me but instead I got stuck baby sitting her two babies alone while she would disappear for hours. Being forced to become an adult when I was a child became a magnet to become enmeshed with the cult. Their system is based on being obligated under oaths, penaltits of hell, punishment and misery if we didn’t consecrate our time, talents, resources and life to saving the world. I was always running faster than I had strength, burned out, frustrated and stuck. Working to undo this sense is one of the most difficult things I have faced. Setting boundaries had been really tough in the first decade, but over time I started coaching myself to say no.

Addictions/codependency and membership in a high-demand cult share a lot of common ground. You're very astute to see this, and note that there is a continuity connecting them in your own life.

I hope other posters with experience or expertise in codependency will weigh in. For starters, I'll just point out that we become habituated to living a life of obligation, and breaking free from that means venturing into new territory where there will be new, unfamiliar "rules." I have (long ago) posted here how membership in a high-demand cult is like being the abused party in a psychologically violent relationship. As a cop, I saw people (usually women) repeatedly revert to victim status with the same (sometimes different) abuser. They didn't like it, but it was life as they knew it, and they stayed with it, so tragic.

Your last two sentences, "Working to undo this sense is one of the most difficult things I have faced. Setting boundaries had been really tough in the first decade, but over time I started coaching myself to say no" are bright and encouraging. Keep at it!

The emotional nature of tscc is the underbelly of Mormonism & other similar cults.

Other churches focus on Love & fellowship.

I love TED talks. One of them talked about falling in love. They said falling in love is not about finding someone, it's about finding the familiar. They resonate with our past experiences. We feel comfortable. Even if it's not good, it's what we crave. I think this idea works for any relationship.

Great thread. Reading along.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2017 11:12AM by Dorothy.

LDS inc leans on their MORmON young men, telling them that they must go on a full time MORmON mission to get converts so that THE (MORmON) church can grow ....so that MORmON Jesus -the creator of the universe can finally muster up enough fortitude to get on with His much belated and highly awaited but mighty second coming. .....is there any other kind of assistance that the mighty creator of the universe might need from an army of bumbling awkward mindless teen agers?????

was keeping my older sister in line or whatever it was my parents thought I could possibly do with her. I know they didn't know what to do with her. She caused so many problems and if things got out of hand, it was usually my problem since I could yell the loudest. My dad said he finally figured out if I was yelling, my sister was up to something.

She's still up to her old tricks as a 61-year-old.

Since families are supposed to love one another, my mother was always telling us that we were bad if we argued. I was shocked ot find out when my sister moved out, it got SO MUCH BETTER. I'd never live with her again.

But the church is where my mother got the idea that all families should always be at peace and, if we weren't, then we were bad people.