Anyone i come across i have been telling them the real history of the church as far as i know. I am pissed off at the whole operation they ruined my life, manipulated me directly and indirectly, i am working my ass off to be a healthy independant man totally free of cults but is not easy. I will insult whatever i want to insult. They have the guts to call me a blasphemer when that whole operation is blasphemy. Since when did god become a billionaire CEO that does secret handshakes. F#ck him if he exists i am pissed. The mormon lady said she was glad i was angry because its closer to the real me, well you aint seen nothing yet it just keeps building. When your whole life was a waste and a lie based off of a lie you get PISSED for a while.

I'm glad that you are only 34 and have time to rebuild your life. I didn't learn the truth until I was almost 57. Now I'm beset with health problems and not sure if I can recover. I keep regretting the tithing wastage, thinking of what I could have done for my children.

I'm still hoping that the church will cave at some point and give you some real help, without expecting work in return. It's disgraceful to ask a disabled person to work, when they happily took his hard-earned money in the past.

Exactly, f#ck im hoping i can recover and still build a life, i feel like thats the momentum right now if i can just get over the hump. I feel like if i can just get to the point of neck surgery i will be in much better position afterwards when its healed.

I guess our life was never completely our's while we were TBM's.
And life is for sure difficult, but the thing is that we only suffer because we are simply good people (bad people just don't care about anything) and we must be happy for that.
And I'm sure that if God exists he/she/it appreciates good people and doesn't care about some stupid handshakes.
Sometimes my health kinda sucks (less than yours) but I think I wouldn't change the truth for anything in the world. If I live I want to have a true life.
To finish I would like to say hang in there Adam, fight the sorrow like there's no tomorrow.

Lucas

I hope god doesnt care about handshakes cause i sure dont and i am no god. And yes i never felt like life was mine EVER i either just existed in the cult or i was trying to run away from the cult, it has never been a real life just merely survival. I am fighting man i even watch fight dvds to get my anger out.