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is sex on your first date the new standard / expectation?

it seems so, to me at least.

comments?

Since I haven't had a first date in, oh, 26 years or so...
Got me.

Before that, from about age 21 to 32, I don't think it was either standard or expected. But it still happened now and then. To my great delight :)

Before *that* I was a missionary and a mormon. So I didn't even know what sex was. And a "date" was the stake dance. Ugh.

I think it's up to you and your standard/ expectation and how that meshes with the other persons standard/ expectation.

No one outside that should be setting a standard/ expectation for you.

Not having sex or having it on the first date is up to you and the other person only and neither option is right or wrong.

Yes, and I didn't appreciate being tied up!

That's not what I heard.

So that's what the rope in saucie's trunk is for...

I don't recommend it.

Sex between nevermos is a point of discussion between a given couple. For couples who are dating (I'm not talking about one-night drunken hookups,) it used to be standard to wait at least 2-3 weeks. But longer -- a few months or more-- is not unusual. Some nevermos remain virginal until marriage.

Since there is no universal "standard," you have to know what you feel comfortable with and what your partner feels comfortable with. This requires knowing yourself to a T along with extended discussion with your potential partner.

The problem with sex on the first date is that you really don't know each other yet. And trust me, it's just as easy for a woman to easily move on after that as it is for a man to do so. Give your partner a chance. Wait, and discuss.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2017 05:21PM by summer.

Nothing has really changed except pull-and-pray (bad) and put-a-jimmie-on-it (good), and "So, STDs..." are less taboo conversations hopefully held *before* the sexytime.

When I look back on the number of people in my family who raised their niece's children as their own, I think there was some hanky panky going on from the get-go.

Caddy with her muddy drawers as seen by Benji.

I think the date part is optional. :)

You do what feels right for you. If you can stop yourself you should. If you can't stop yourself then you have answered your own question. If you really have personality chemistry as well as physical chemistry, it is better to wait. There is plenty of time, unless you are my age, and then you should see your doctor first.

Relax and enjoy.

Dated for a while after a 30-year marriage. From experience. Yeah, I know it's just mine - there is no such thing as casual sex. Sex is complicated by emotions. Date someone for a 'while' first. In the meantime, ask the Boner for suggested lubricants...

You are the one to make the decision. Is sex on the first date standard? Who cares. Do you want a one nighter? Do you want a long term relationship? If someone is pressuring you for sex on the first date and says everyone does it(reminds me of high school), then they don't really care about you as a person. But then maybe you don't care for them as a person either and that is your prerogative. Also remember,STDs are a very real thing for the over 50. My fiance, 67,is ill and had to have blood tested. The Dr. insisted he have a test for syphilis. He stated he does not have it and she responded, "you do not know how many people I hear that from over the age of 50 and they come up positive. He was negative. I am moving to The Villages in Florida(huge over 55 community about 160,000). They are said to have the largest concentration of STDs in the nation. I am not planning on having sex so I do not care. From what I hear it is a pretty rockin place and not in chairs-in golf carts, beds, tables, cars, etc.

People talk, and talk turns into expectations;
that's was I was alluding to.

Hi GNPE. Seems like everyone wants to tell you to do what you want, but that wasn't your question. What do "others" want and expect is what you'd like to know I think. I'm 71, healthy, willing and able(most of the time). I've never been married. I still date, not as much as I did, but still do. Of the many first dates I've been on I'd say there is no expectation or perceived obligation to have sex on the first date. It happens, but not much, in my opinion. Back in the late 60's - 70's, more often, but today....not so much. If it's a simple answer you'd like, that's my answer...of course it's just one mans experience and opinion.

It is a Millenials thing. Whatever feels good? Do it. No strings attached.

I personally would not want to 'catch' something these days that ajax can't wash off! Better safe than sorry.

Then use a condom

If you want a relationship, wait until the 2nd or 3rd date for sex. If you think the guy is hot and you just want some fun, that's what 1st (and probably only) date sex is for.

If you haven't had sex by the 4th date, there isn't much chemistry there.

^^ I agree

Dating ? What's that ?

Yeah. What is that?

I haven't been on a date for so long, I forgot what to do or how to behave.

I don't think it's standard nor expected. And I wouldn't recommend it either. Sex with a stranger is weird and awkward and can be kind of dangerous.

However. Sometimes, there is just chemistry and it happens. I find that to be very rare.

Typically, I like to wait about 3 months before sleeping with someone. That's enough time to get to know the person a little bit. Being on your best behavior all the time is exhausting, so around a couple months in, most people drop any pretenses and start getting real. Sometimes, though, people are real right on the first date.