i'm trying to write an exmo (main) character but his story is pretty different from my own, so i'm looking for advice/commentary/stories/anything else!

i stopped believing in god and the church when i was 12-13 and when i figured out i was gay a couple years later i had virtually no trouble with self-acceptance since i was already so detached from the mormon BS. but my character (i'm gonna call him J) never even doubts the church until age 15 or 16, and has known he's gay for a while but seriously represses his sexuality. he has a major faith crisis and eventually leaves the church after a long, painful process. in the end J still believes in god but has separated himself from the church's doctrine and his TBM family, etc.

so if anyone here had that kind of experience w/ the church (whether or not you're LGBT) and want to share anything you think might help with J's character development i'd be so so grateful!

Seminary!

You have to include his experiences in seminary, whether it be during the school day (in Utah) or before school, in the rest of America, i.e., the mission field.

Seminary would be the place, at ages 14-16, where the turmoil would begin. If you introduce a nazi-mormon instructor, it would make it easier for the mental conflict to begin, especially if he/she had a notable streak of anti-gay bigotry, which might cause J some problems, if he's sort of feminine; he be the brunt of name-calling, etc.

But for sure, seminary has to loom large in J's process.

Good idea and also interviews with the bishop where J is asked some intimate questions could be a good idea.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2017 06:53PM by luckylucas.

My seminary experience was with a closeted, gay, married TBM.

He was a very frustrated angry guy who had zero connection with anyone in his class. His day job was as Librarian at the HS.

Frankly, I think the guy really hated teenagers, yet set himself up to spend every day of his life with them.

He died at age 42 of a heart attack. Left behind a wife and 6 kids. I don't know if she ever figured out that he was gay. I'm thinking no. She was extremely naive.

oh yeah for sure, i've already included it in what i have outlined.

right, thanks for the reminder! i'd say seminary is the bane of my existence, except i have it first period and usually stay home and sleep in or sleep through class. i've actually had a few awesome teachers (and a select few that have been really chill about the gay thing and avoided the topic in class) but i gotta put my baby through hell so no cool former punk-rocker seminary teachers for him!

Good one, Buena Suerte!!

A lot depends on how his fellow mormons perceive him, in terms of the 'vibes' he gives off. The more you have him along the spectrum to 'flaming', the more likely he's going to have to defend his male honor. The more he's to the testosterone brute side, the less he'll be challenged as to his sexuality.

Don't forget to draw from some of your own memories. That always adds realism, take my word for it.

for sure. can't wait to write the scene where he talks to his parents about everything, that's gonna be mostly from personal experience. i've had a few too many talks like that with my own parents. [cue intense discomfort]

Well just great. Now I know the ending.

Don't tell us who he marries or how many kids he ends up having.

I wanna read about him on the porch. rockin away with his husband when they're old and gray, surrounded by the noise of grandchildren discussing college experiences and upcoming marriages.

okay, no more spoilers :)

Call him nephi it is pure gold i promise.

...i don't hate myself that much! i just kinda don't want it to be that blatant. i am using an old testament name, though.

If you need readers/proof readers, I'm available, plus you can afford me!

how much do you charge? i might hit you up once i have a more significant amount written.

I do it for free, but I tell the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts.

@elderolddog are you still interested in beta-reading? i've got the first three chapters solid and ready to go.

If like to read right away.
That's the way we'll play.

Keep writing (editing...)
I'll read it, it's proof too.

Good to see this post pop up.
I like pop-ups, post LDSers.

If your story takes place in Utah, your main character would know at least one gay friend who commits suicide because of teasing and bullying from the "good" Mormon kids at his school. Those students would feel entitled to torment gays because of what they hear from the pulpit.

Really, really good point!!

oh, true!

Elderolddog posted this link in a thread he started the other day about a gay Mormon who is clinging to the church still. I would say it could give you insight into the mind of someone that indoctrinated. Does he really believe himself? Is this show for parents? Why does someone align themselves with the enemy, and how angry do you get when you finally realize you've been tricked into being your own worst enemy? Perhaps this will help you:


https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865691169/QA-Hamilton-actor-and-Utahn-Thayne-Jasperson-on-faith-and-doubt.html

Read Max Zimmer's books, "If Where You're Going Isn't Home" and listen to his talk at the exmormon foundation conference 2016. You'll get plenty of material.

http://exmormonfoundation.org/files/media/2016Conference/05-MaxZimmer.mp3 (Introduction lasts 5 minutes).

Yep. So true. Keep it up! Right on.