Posted by:
jdoubledub
(
)
Date: October 10, 2017 07:10PM
So, I have posted many things about my past marriage on here, especially my TBM ex-wife and her narcissistic tendencies. Long story short, we divorced in December. I started dating a woman pretty seriously shortly thereafter. I was 3 weeks into the dating when I noticed some red flags with the woman. She reminded me of my ex wife. I persisted because I thought I was being oversensitive. Things finally came to a head and became too much for me and I broke it off on the advice of several loved ones. I was essentially dating my ex wife and I realized it.
That relationship ended in June. A month later, I met a woman, whom I am currently dating, and we hit things off right away. We would stay up every night texting late into the night having deep conversations about everything from religion to our past marriages. Let's just say we have a ton in common and we would have to force ourselves to go to sleep or we'd text each other all night. Our first official date was a huge hit-held her hand and kissed after a few hours. Felt like I'd known her forever and never thought a woman like her even existed. We are now 2 and 1/2 months in. She's met my kids, they love her, we spend a ton of time together with her son. I love her very much and have told her and she has told me the same. We do a ton of stuff together and spend as much time together as we can.
Here's the tough part for me: I was in a marriage where my wife blamed me for everything. She would also yell at me telling me I was crazy and how bad a person I was, then tell me she loved me the next day. Made me wonder how you could tell a person you loved them, right after telling them what a screwed up shit they were.
This woman tells me she loves me and shows me all the time. Genuinely, and I believe her. But, when we aren't together, I am very melancholy. Sad, yes, that I miss her, but it's a bit different. I am afraid. Afraid I will lose her and afraid she will get bored of me and want to leave and not love me anymore. Now, I haven't made any changes in my behavior around her, and it's not affecting us...yet. I love her like I've never loved anybody in my entire life (38 years old), and I am so afraid I will do something to mess it up (courtesy of the ex-wife's thinking) or that she will get bored of me and want to end it. No signs have pointed to any of those outcomes, but I am still afraid of it happening. When I am with her, I don't feel that way. When I am not with her, I feel it all the time and find myself thinking about it way too much. I am not a clingy person and very confident about who I am and my prospects in life, but am petrified of losing her because she is everything I have ever wanted in a woman; in every way. Why do I feel like this???