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Posted by: omergod ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 01:54PM

Most every child in Mormonism has been taught that "Heavenly father" impregnated the Virgin Mary.

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Posted by: waunderdog ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 02:01PM

Okay. And...?

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Posted by: omergod ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 02:07PM

When were you notified that Heavenly Father boinked his wife

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Posted by: Pooped ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 02:48PM

Maybe it's only because I was a convert but I got the version of the story that the Holy Ghost descended upon Mary and some sort of twinkling made her become magically impregnated. It sounded kind of like artificial insemination to me. God wasn't actually on the scene. There was no orgasm so that made it holy somehow. How the HG got ahold of God's semen is the mystery to me because I was under the impression that in the Mormon myth God, JC, and HG are three separate beings.

Since "God's ways are not man's ways" I had to just scratch my head and say, "Oh, well."

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Posted by: William Law ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 06:35PM

It happened the way all artificial insemination happen. God came in a cup.

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Posted by: Pooped ( )
Date: October 22, 2017 01:51AM

Thanks for clearing that up for me Bill ;)

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: October 23, 2017 10:06AM

William Law Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It happened the way all artificial insemination
> happen. God came in a cup.

But it was a holy cup, right?
Or would that make it all leak out...?? :)

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Posted by: F ( )
Date: October 23, 2017 08:53PM

A "chalice". Makes it classy.

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Posted by: William Law ( )
Date: October 23, 2017 09:25PM

The Holy Chalice makes the Holy Grail look like a cheap piece of Tupperware.

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 03:06PM

If this were Sunday School, I'd bring up the possibility of Alien abduction and artificial insemination. So, Jesus was a human-alien hybrid. The star of Bethlehem was a spaceship. See, it all makes sense. Well, more sense than the gospel narrative.

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Posted by: Tom Padley ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 06:32PM

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If this were Sunday School, I'd bring up the
> possibility of Alien abduction and artificial
> insemination. So, Jesus was a human-alien hybrid.
> The star of Bethlehem was a spaceship. See, it all
> makes sense. Well, more sense than the gospel
> narrative.


This could be the newest X-Files movie.

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Posted by: hollensnopper ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 03:08PM

A long time ago, I saw a photograph of a horse who had just given birth to a zebra via embryo transplant.

As far as the mare was concerned, that was her baby.

So if you believe that God could create man at all, then it becomes no problem to believe He could have "somehow" have caused an embryonic Jesus to begin growing in Mary.

If DNA had been known of and there had been an ability to do the test, I feel certain that it would have shown that Mary was not the biological mother at all.

But that's just my take on it.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 06:38PM

So.......

Why not just form Jesus out of clay and breathe life into him?

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: October 21, 2017 09:20PM

There’s gotta be a reason they told us Mary was 14 years old—to make raping Helen Kimball sound a little more acceptable?

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: October 22, 2017 01:29PM

I don't know that we teach that.

That was just a couplet.

Don't worry about that little wart of history.

Pay no attention to that. We haven't mentioned that in years. That is supposed to go down the memory hole.

That was just so-n-so's opinion. He was speaking as a man.



My guess is that younger members never heard that like us old timers.

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Posted by: omergod ( )
Date: October 23, 2017 03:20PM

The Virgin birth does not exist in Mormonism.

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Posted by: slskipper ( )
Date: October 23, 2017 04:29PM

Unless it does. Mormons can go either way. See how it works?

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Posted by: omergod ( )
Date: October 23, 2017 07:06PM

Heavenly father had sexual relationships with the Virgin Mary,and that is what Mormons believe.
Mormons also believe that your brothers have different Heavenly mothers

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 23, 2017 07:13PM

Joseph : "you're what ?!?!"

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: October 23, 2017 08:43PM

Jesus told me that I was adopted in the pre-existence, and that's why I was born brown...

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: October 24, 2017 05:22PM

Q: from where did Jesus get his Y-chromosome?

Just askin'

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Posted by: omergod ( )
Date: October 24, 2017 05:58PM

That fact of Mormonism just rubbed me the wrong way.
God had sex with the Virgin Mary, and all of that nonsense.

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