Posted by:
kiss
(
)
Date: November 05, 2017 11:02AM
A lot of this link is interesting, but I think #6 applies to this situation:
https://thewisesloth.com/religion/preaching-witnessing-arguing-christianity/15-mind-control-techniques-churches-cults-use/In other words, busy-ness must be maintained. I think it both correct and incorrect that a person takes it "personally."
One one hand, it is personal. It is invading my space and time, and beyond that, it makes non-cult interactions with friends and family members unavailable, an alienation of affection. It is a cult-member's choice to remain in the cult, and in the same breath, insist that it is not a "cult." It's about personal responsibility, ownership of their own behavior. Rude is rude, no matter the excuse. We don't hear them saying, "Please excuse my behavior, but I'm brainwashed." No. That's how exmos excuse their rudeness, in our effort to remain connected, attempts to deny the forced alienation imposed by the cult. This giving of excuse is all one-sided, per cult rules.
Which takes me to the other hand, mine. It is my choice to remain in their sphere of influence and control, or not. Their behavior is not about me, but themselves, and their interests and pursuits. If I don't want the fecal matter with which they play to get all over me, I won't go around them. If I don't want to be their scapegoat, I won't present them with an opportunity to impose that role onto me - I'll stay away from them, and insist that they stay away from me.
Many exmos are stuck in refusal to alienate, a reasonable choice, but there are heavy prices to be paid for keeping mos in our lives. That's how it works. We want something, too, to keep our family and friends, and we pay for it by gagging on cult bs. It leaves a nasty taste.
Exmos also have each other, to help us through whatever level of alienation each of us has chosen.
In your case, badass, for whatever reasons you stay in touch with them, I would ask you to consider taking ownership of your choices, as this will empower you on a daily basis to choose the level of interaction you can tolerate on any given day.