Mother Who Knows
Date: November 14, 2017 09:44AM
I dated a BMOC (remember that old expression,"Big Man On Campus"?) at BYU. I was extremely intimidated, at first, but he turned out to be a very good guy, and was a leader and a philanthropist, even back then.
Anyway, my point is, that I was genuinely interested in him. He had a lot to say, and I would hang on every word. Still, I was very shy, and didn't talk very much. I was afraid I had been a "dud" on our first date.
He told his roommate that I was the best conversationalist, ever! I had mostly just listened.
Listening is the key. "Active listening" with full attention, and eye contact, and affirmations that the listener understands what is being said. (But, be genuine. You don't have to agree with all the opinions.)
Listening is also a sales technique. I'm amazed that the PR-savvy Mormons don't teach their missionaries, recruiters and leaders the techniques of being a good listener. The teachers at BYU weren't good listeners, either. Bishops make demands, and ask probing questions, and act as a "judge in zion". Even the GA's seem like old geezers who don't have a clue as to what's going on with the masses.
When have you ever had a Mormon really listen to you? In my experience, they are always preaching at me, telling me to read the book of Mormon, telling me to do something or give them money, bragging about all of their "blessings", telling me how busy they are, telling me how wonderful the church is, or judging and gossiping about someone less fortunate in order to build themselves up.
These one-way conversations are a good example of what NOT to do.
Have you ever had a Mormon sincerely ask you WHY you left the church, then wait and listen to hear what you have to say? Without interrupting you? (No, they just TOLD me that I was offended, and ended it there.)
It's called "common courtesy." As with most other "laws of the land", Mormons think they are exempt from this.