Here in the UK our youth have so much available to them that is not driven by religion.

Our sons attended Catholic High School, chosen for their superior moral/educational high standards and ethics. Whilst it is true that secular schools at the time had lost the plot in general there were good students who ploughed through the mire of anarchy and did well, without the influence of religious dogma but by sheer will to grow and make it through. It is clear that humanity is driven by such personal goals and long may it be so, despite the fact that some will not make it. Religion won't fix that.

Our sons chose their friends from amongst those with a vision, like their own, to succeed through hard work and commitment.

Their interest in mormon activities was quite low, frustratingly for me at the time. However, I supported their nevermo father's wish that they find their true passion and pursue this with everything they could muster.

At the age of 14 the older two followed their passion for swimming/racing and became able competitors whilst becoming fit and strong young men, both psychologically and physically. They were also keen scouts (Baden Powell's lot). This has brought them many benefits in later life and they are fully rounded responsible, committed adults with happy family lives. Church was nowhere in their grand scheme of things.

The youngest, at 13, joined the Sea Cadets and spent so much time at sea that it would have been cruel to rip him away from his joy to sit him in church for hours at weekends.

His favourite activity was sailing on this vessel:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TS_Royalist

Every time he sailed he came back more confident, rounded and driven. His school work was excellent and he quickly became a man. How could the mormon church compete with all this?

This post is talking about the boys only and the girls deserve their own accolade at another time. Needless to say, none of our kids had time for mormons, despite baptism at 8 and all the other stuff, they never considered themselves members and found the whole shebang a complete turn-off.

I would sit in church alone, or with my mother and siblings, wondering where I'd gone wrong.

Can you believe that?!

Mormonism is crazy-making for sure.

Briggy

A statement greeted by eye-rolling and much loud laughter.

Speechless? I was indeed.

Is it any wonder that my hubby shunned church and the crazy mind-messing ideas.

The boys invited the missionaries to an inshore sailing/water sports activity close by in their assigned area on P Day but they declined.

Briggy

I think it is fantastic how you encouraged them to follow their passions! That both you and your dh despite your differences agreed to raise them this way! I loved reading your story, thank you so much for sharing it!

It is more difficult for those raised in Utah to get away from church activities because there is so little else available. This weekend in a conversation with my daughter I described what living in Utah is like: Church on Sunday, once a week youth activities plus any additional service projects etc outside the Wednesday youth night; Seminary during school everyday. My daughter's response was priceless: "You went to church EVERYDAY!" Yep, that sums it up, not because I wanted to, but because there was nothing else.

Here there are options, we are making choices that are best for her, she is free to chose to attend church events or not. We try to find fun things she'd like to do that play towards her strengths. You should have seen the looks and emails I got when I said she is not going to girls camp. Like we had the plague or something--I'm sorry girls camp is not the end all be all of summer camps.

Briggy, good point that the Morg does not have a lock on character-building activities. Far from it. As you point out, kids may be much better off if they select other alternatives.

I would send a girl to a Girl Scout camp before I would even remotely consider a Morg Girls' Camp.

I used to work at a Girl Scout camp. Our girls camped, rowed, canoed, kayaked, hiked, sailed on a lake, sailed on the ocean (skippering and crewing on the boats under adult supervision,) learned to swim with expert, certified instruction, fish, and cook food over a campfire. They had arts and crafts, campfire sing-a-longs, and many other fun, enjoyable activities. They became very confident young ladies. Sorry, but I don't think that Morg Girls' Camp even comes close.

It doesn't!

Girl Scouts of Rhode Island:

http://www.gsri.org/aboutUs_OurCamps.html

I worked at Camp Hoffman many years ago. But wow, all of their camps look great. Girls would have so much fun at any one of them!

I urge parents to investigate summer activities through the Girl Scout organization. It made a world of difference in my life.

When our son was young, he wanted to go to martial arts. This was more than once a week and for me was enuf activities to send an 8 yr old. The ward was not happy i didn't send him to cubs. I also didn't like all the leaders of the cub program so it was my 'legitimate' excuse for not sending him to cubs. like i needed one. When it came time for scouts, i wanted him to go to the local cadet program but thot that since these are his peer group at church, seeing them more than once a week was probably a good thing to develop friendships. The first year at scouts they had a good time. After that the leaders werent very committed, to the point where they'd call at 6 pm telling us the 7 pm meeting was cancelled. then they decided to change the night for scouts but didn't tell the boys this until the week before. By this time Tom was working at the library and had rearranged his work schedule to get the original night off. The new night of scouts was his new work night. So he didn't go to scouts much. Finally Tom stopped going to church and actually did join the sea cadets for a year. Stupid church . i am glad dd won't have these stupid activities she 'has' to go to at a church where children's and youth programes depend on whoever the bishop calls and doesn't or can't say NO.