Posted by:
BethanyJoy
(
)
Date: December 02, 2017 10:00AM
Jab, I'd like to offer that you need confirm nothing with them. If you choose to answer a phone, door or email, you are free to say something as simple as "John, Don't contact me again." (using proper names, not titles like "dad.") Then, ...nothing.
The dysfunctions of abusers are predictable. I'm sorry to say that you will not receive any confirmation of their understanding of the harm they've inflicted, no matter what your truthful accusations may be. They will deny, re-write history, tag-team, blah, blah, blah, and it's likely to be two things for you - very frustrating and only a confirmation that your decision to separate is the correct one.
On the other hand, I found some petty enjoyment in that my total silence, no explanations, must have left them scratching their heads and feeling a vacuum in their supply of abuse victims. It was my right to set that boundary and enforce it. Block, block, block.
I wrote my rage and frustrations in journals to vent, sought counseling, shared my stories with friends and others. From the very beginning, I knew that nothing I could say to them would result in their validation of my reasons for excising them from my life. I wanted to serve them, at least, the *nothing love* they had served me throughout the years.
They would not get one more tear, drop of blood or pound of flesh from me. I would never present myself as a target again. I have not, and it hasn't always been easy, but it's been mine.
warm hugs and good wishes and thoughts for ((((jab)))