Posted by:
Anony
(
)
Date: May 31, 2011 06:30AM
A friend relayed a couple of excellent sacrament meeting talks from the singles ward this past Sunday. I haven't been to church in over 4 years, so it is fun to see that I am not missing ANYTHING.
Newly married husband and wife. He is young and has been called as a bishopric councilor in this singles ward. Wifey gives the typical talk about preparing for marriage and making a list of qualities you want in a spouse and then becoming everything on the list... usual BS.
Then hubby gives a talk about the importance of church attendance. Friend says he is coming across as super self-righteous and holier-than-thou talking about how there is never a reason to miss church. To illustrate this, he tells of their recent honeymoon that involved a cruise. They were going to be in Florida by 9 AM on Sunday so they decided to find a ward and attend church. Well I guess they didn't plan this out very well and were sad to find out that the nearest church building was about an hour away from the airport. They looked into a taxi ride but it was going to be about $100 each way.
Oh, what to do... what to do??? Well, luckily the holy ghost whispered unto them to rent a car, which they did and they were able to attend church. The Lord will always provide a way for the righteous! Hallelujah!! Praise Jebus!! So basically they broke the sabbath by spending money on the car rental and making people work on Sunday in order to keep the sabbath and attend church. WTF?? How is this faith promoting??
There was also a talk about free agency by some other douche bag. He used LeBron James as an example of how we don't really have free agency. Ya see, LeBron was an agent for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Then he became a free agent. This was the only time he was truly free. Just like us. When LeBron decided to play for the Miami Heat, he became an agent for the Heat and was no longer free. Can you all see how this applies to the gospel. We are no longer free agents when we make covenants and choose to be on the Lord's side. We do not *really* have free agency once we have chosen. WTF??? Seriously???
Shouldn't the bishop have gotten up and whispered to this guy that he was teaching false doctrine? I don't ever remember being taught about free agency in this way when I was in the morg. It sounds like the guy just googled "free agent" on Sunday morning and came up with this LeBron James thing while spanking it in the shower. #sogladtobeexmormon