I've been out of the church 28 years, but every now and then, a confused Mormon gives me a gift that they wish I wanted. This year it was a framed picture of Jesus, another year it was a faux parchment scroll with the family proclamation printed on it.

I hereby declare the competition open! Who got the most inappropriate exmo gift?? (We've all received the unwanted "gift" of someone's testimony, emphatically born after making clear we are not interested. That doesn't count. I'm looking for a tangible gift).

I used to give out lottery tickets to my mo friends...went over pretty well despite the obvious sin of having such a vile instrument of satan.

My ex-Mo brother received the strangest object from our TBM nephew, and he texted me photos of it. WTF? I remembered a drawing in one of my old seminary manuals. It was a "loahona."

What the heck is a "Liahona." It must have been broken, because it didn't do anything.

Someone thinks it's hilarious to send us a subscription to the Ensign every year. We have to call several times, to get TSCC to stop sending them, and we are always told that we might receive a few more issues before the stop-order goes through. So, with the waiting, and then the repeating of our calls requesting them to stop, we receive 5 or 6 issues. TSCC will never tell us who sent in the subscription--otherwise, we would reciprocate with a subscription to Penthouse.

I received a liahona a few years ago. I wondered if it was just another clueless mormon gift, or if it was specifically chosen for me because I'm exmo. Like to guide me on a path back to god or something.