I know a man (TBM, former bishop) whose wife died in December. He started dating in February, got engaged in April, and will be sealed to his second wife in July, and he quite freely admitted, "I'm going to be a polygamist!"
I know this man personally and his wife. You are out of line. Your lack of compassion for someone that has lost the love of his life speaks volumes to your character IMO. I have known this man for more than a decade and he truly is one of the few Mormons I know that lives a Christ-like life on every level. I am sad for him. Sad for his children. Laura was a beautiful compassionate woman with a beautiful singing voice. I traveled for a month with them in Israel. While I no longer believe in Mormonism, I will never forget the fond memories of that trip. If he re-marries in a year, he is no different than many men of various faiths. I don't believe he's in a hurry to make that move though.
Whatever -(rolls eyes) - did you miss the part where I said IMO??? I was merely stating my opinion. It indeed looks like a jab to me - and who gives a flying fuck if he is Mormon or not? The fact is that he lost someone that he loved and is grieving for it. I hope people give you more compassion than you have shown here when someone you love dies. Once again, I am amazed at the things people find to bitch about on this board and the judgment that is often the theme here.
he belongs to, and promotes, a religion that whole-heartedly believes in polygamy, yet publically denies it. A religion whose leaders practice earthly, sequential polygamy but plan on simulatenously enjoying the fruits of that "blessing" in the hereafter.
THAT'S WHAT IS OUT OF LINE.
I'm sure his wife was sweet, most Mormon women I know are...
Unfortunate that they believe in and sustain a cult that has polygamy as a central theme.
I don't deny his right to re-marry...I think it's a very human thing to do.
And you "knowing" he lives "a Christ-like life on every level"...well, did Christ like polygamy? I thought the son of god cracked a whip at those that did offensive things...or do you personally condone polygamy????
Being all "goodie-goodie and sweet with sugar on top" doesn't make someone less culpable for sustaining a cult.
If you were only trying to jab at the culture - that would have been easy enough to do. It looked to me that you were making fun of and light of the possibility that he would re-marry. Who appointed you judge and jury for calling anyone out for what they believe? IMO - let me re-state IMO the OP was out of line. I just don't find it necessary to make fun of someone's loss that way.
but I think you're making to big of a deal out of the post. I took it more of a commentary on mormon culture. I'm sure she was a lovely woman, but I don't think there was a personal jab there at all. My two cents.
You may be correct - and it is a possibility that he will re-marry in the temple. Unless he marries someone that is not sealed to someone else, he still won't be a polygamist. I just found the whole post in poor taste.
I guess it was my comment that bigred objected to. He thinks he knows who I was referring to, but he's wrong (the wife's name was not "Laura" and she did not have a beautiful singing voice).
Let me make myself clear:
I am not criticizing the man for remarrying, in fact I told him I was happy for his being able to move on and recover from his loss so quickly. I mentioned the case only as an example for the OP of the fact that some men remarry faster than the year that was suggested.
And like the man to whom bigred referred, the man I am talking about is also a fine example of Christianity among the Mormons. And he did indeed love the wife that he lost.
So, bigred, you might - if I may suggest - try not to be so quick to interpret a factual statement as a condemnation. Your outrage seems to mean that YOU find the fact of a quick remarriage to be, per se, condemnable. I certainly don't, and I did not imply it.
Not at all, and I was not outraged - I just really felt the whole thing was in poor taste and whether or not Michael re-marries is no one's business but his own as are his beliefs. I don't care if anyone here wants to make light of polygamy in Mormon heaven - do that all you want. I find it ludicrous myself and worthy of mocking. It just seemed that pointing a finger at a specific person that has recently lost their spouse of 42 years kinda hit a raw nerve. I saw a bit of what he went through and being made fun of is the last thing I believe he or any of us need or deserve.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/31/2011 06:52PM by bigred.
I tend to agree with the pp who said that making jokes about a woman's death and her widower's potential remarriage someday was kind of in poor taste and did seem unnecessarily personal. I guess I just disagree with intruding into an individual's grief process like that, but that JMO.
I totally agree with BigRed on this, even though I did not know the man personally.
His story is a human story of finding meaning in the tragedy of losing someone you love, which transcends differences in religion.
In Mormonism our boundaries are violated so often and so frequently that part of recovery is to learn where those boundaries are in normal society and then struggle to have a return of our own dormant sixth sense that told us there was something amiss about an adult man in a room alone with our 12-year old son talking about his sexuality.
We do poke fun on this board--you've been a great contributor in that regard in the past, this time your comment is a social gaffe, especially the day after Memorial Day. Maybe you've never lost someone you love. OR maybe this is how you express grief yourself. Still, it is a mistake and it would be a good idea to apologize (I'm sure you meant no harm), and put it behind you.
I recommend the philosophy of the writers of the Daily Show, which to me are "gods" -- if it has to do with someone losing their life, it is not funny no matter how funny it is.