I went to a New Year's Eve party where there were several teens from different States who came with their parents. I asked them if there was bullying in their schools. They all said "NO". One said there was bullying last year, but the teachers now stand outside of their classrooms to watch for it in the halls as well as their classrooms and the restrooms.

I've read online that some teens in Utah are bullied both in school and in the Church.

Just looking for some feedback on this. THANKS!

I’ve seen it in primary.

As long as there are children in schools there will be bullying. Some kids are just mean.

The teachers are part of the problem. I doubt they stand out in the halls and monitor.

Actually some Utah schools reguire teachers to stand in the doorway between class to monitor. Yes, there is bullying in schools both in and out of Utah. Kids bully. Some schools are worse than others, but there is no such thing as a bully free school anywhere.Most teachers and administrators here try hard to stop bullying.The problem is that kids dont bully in front of teachers.Overloaded classrooms and overworked teachers and administrators dont help either.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/02/2018 10:55PM by bona dea.

My daughter was very badly bullied at Church,from around 10-13 years,leaders were not interested as the Father of the bullies was held in high esteem,when asked why said daughter no longer came to Church I would say,if you were assaulted in the church toilets would you come,silence,I was out not long afterwards,why I put my child through that I will never know,stupid cult.

I was bullied at church even by the teachers and my niece and nephews were bullied at church. They left the church. My sister still goes AFTER how her kids were treated.

I was the Beehive leader for a few years and had 23 girls. There was definite bullying. I stopped whatever was happening when I was around, but it went on when I wasn't around. The girls told me when they'd come for their goal-setting appointments. I was at least able to have empathy and help them some since I knew what they were going through. I was even bullied by other leaders. I felt like I was back in middle school.

The answer is to target the perpetrators and come down hard on them. Take away their privileges and cause them discomfort or inconvenience until they relent. Also, give the victims permission to seek help from a strong understanding adult with the power to do something about the situation.

My oldest was bullied to the point that he was suicidal at the age of nine.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/02/2018 04:16PM by eldorado.

If a child is gay or suspected of being gay, they are wise to stay away from the "good" Mormon kids in their school.

I was bulled at church after seminary class. Kid pulled a knife on me.

I spent about a year in a Tooele, UT school. Tooele is a town where the residents have the Utah mentality on steroids; anyone seen as an outsider (not from Tooele) or different in any way was hated. Since I grew up in SE Idaho, the kids in that town, both in the wards and at school took that as an invitation to bully me non-stop.
Most of the teachers and church "leaders" did what the Morg does with problems- they ignored it.
Anyone saying Utah doesn't have a bullying problem has a denial problem.

This is exactly why I got my last two boys those paste on prison tear drop tattoos! They were never bullied.

Or maybe it was that I was around them a lot at their school activities and MY prison tattoos aren't fake...







(please remember to laugh!)

He said that the principals, assistant principals, and many of the teachers were bullies. My son dressed goth here in Utah. That didn't go over well. He said that the principals would come to the room to call him into their office and nicely ask for him to accompany them and then yell at him.

They thought his dad was special. I'd always send his dad to talk to his teachers, etc., because my ex knows how to play the mormon culture game well. Little did the teachers know that he is gay and that he had abandoned us and wasn't around his kids much at all. Too caught up in his relationship (that didn't last). It really infuriated my son that the teachers thought his dad was so special and that he, my son, was the problem. I knew if I went in, it wouldn't go over well and my son knows that, too. I'm just not good with being a kiss ass.

Anyway, my son was called gay in middle school. He told me today he started thinking he was because maybe the kids had guessed his dad is gay. I'm just lucky my son graduated. I wish so bad they had had on-line school when he was going to school.

There sure as hell was about 18 years ago. In schools and in church. I highly doubt that would change, no matter how much activism people try to get involved in.

I was raised in a western state besides Utah, that borders Utah. The MORmON population in the area was about 30 percent. There was bullying in our school. Two observations about that. A. Much of it, a very disproportion amount, was MORmON based / MORmON related. B. The most egregious instances cases were 1. MORmON on MORmON, or 2. MORmONs were involved. We had several families from Utah that moved to our area, one specifically openly acknowledging to get away from the "Bad influence" and "Bad environment" that exists for some funny reason in squeaky clean zion Utah. Their kids turned out to be some of the absolute worst when It came to MORmON on MORmON bullying. Specifically, there was a special needs / special ed kid who was LDS and he was mainstreamed into our high school. He had a very very slender/ slight build, less than average height. I do not know exactly / precisely what his mental handicap was. He looked backwards / odd in a way that would readily invoke epithets like "retard". However, he was quite good natured and affable, at least he had been. He was hardly a threat to anyone, but that is how he was treated by some from the family from Utah that I previously mentioned. One particular person from that family took a great deal of delight and pleasure in taunting the "retard", which was always a prelude to then punching the "retard". It was one of the most cruel things that I have ever witnessed. Far from being amused, like the MORmON perp was, I found it to be disgusting at the time. even though I never participated in such action, Looking back I am disgusted and disappointed with myself that I did not find the fortitude to object to what was going on.

The non LDS faculty had a bad attitude about having to deal with the problematic MORmON students and parents. Because I was TBM at the time, I thought that they were being petty and unreasonable and snide. Looking back on the situation, It is no wonder that they felt that way !!!!!

In my estimation MORmONS hate everybody, especially other MORmONS. MORmONS have NEVER been able to get along with anyone!!!! The cause of that nasty outcome goes right back to tyrant despot MORmON BULLY Brigham Young and how he ran things, and the basic nature of people who would be willing to follow such an A -hole like BY, which was concentrated in Utah, as far as I am concerned.

The majority of Mormon kids I knew bullied me. Whether it was the neighbor kids in Utah or kids at church. Maybe I was just a bully magnet. But I agree, Mormon kids are more likely to run wild and be out of control brats.

Recently, here in northern Utah, a co-worker had to take a day off during the last several weeks to sit in one of her daughters classes. She had complained to both the teacher and administration about a girl who was bullying her daughter in a class they shared. She enrolled her in a self-defense course taught after school and a weight-training plan with her dad.

Folks, it's always been this way. Sometimes you just have to stand up and start hitting as hard as you can. Sometimes it's better to walk away from a fight. The wisdom is knowing which one is which. It happens at church, school, work, and in public settings like buses, parks, and beaches. Activism means taking care of business sometimes. I'm not advocating violence. I am advocating violence to protect those who are being treated as victims by others.

Cake

"teaching" can be tough...

No. It's not aloud. Of course there is. In and out of the schools, churches, parks, malls, parks, etc. Both by themselves and by others.

In grade 9, the three biggest male bullies (and the biggest female bully) of my year were LDS.

The female bully? Bishop's daughter. Knocked up and a HS dropout before the age of 16.

Two of the male bullies were brothers (one was older but had been held back a grade). Came from an ill-mannered family of nominal activity who showed up enough to collect church welfare services. Both boys spent most of their lives from ages 17-30 in various correctional facilities. I think one might even be dead or locked up for life now.

The other boy? He only went along with the other two boys because he was smaller than them, and they took advantage of him being from a higher income family. Once he got away from the brothers, he actually turned out pretty well.

Of course there's bullying in Utah. There is bullying everywhere.

You probably get further in dealing with it by labeling the specific actions rather than using the broader term of "bullying." If it is your child, it's probably more effective to say that Kid X is hitting my kid, threatening my kid with retaliation if she tells anyone about the hitting, and stealing my kid's lunch money, or whatever it is that is happening. If you know the specific local laws that are being violated, cite them. Simply reporting the bullying behaviors as "bullying" often has little impact, which is ridiculous but is what usually happens.

Describe the felonious actions precisely as they have happened. "Offer" to involve local law enforcement if the school will not compel the offending kid or kids to cease and desist immediately.

I was lucky. I was always the tallest girl in my class, and I wasn't a spindly bean pole, though I wasn't exactly chubby, either, thank goodness. But I was strong, into sports, and agile.

And my ex-Army Dad made sure to teach me a few basic tactics of self-defense. And when I started school, his one cardinal rule was "Don't you EVER start a fight. Do your best to avoid it. But if somebody else insists on starting one, YOU finish it."

I always did, even when the opponent was a boy, because Dad had taught me fighting tactics that most other kids didn't know.

Our was a smallish neighborhood, and everyone - including people at school - knew what my Dad had taught me. And Dad was very highly respected in the community as a thoroughly decent man. He just didn't put up with bullying nonsense.

So, on the few occasions when I got into a fight at school, there were always plenty of witnesses to verify that I hadn't thrown the first punch. And my Dad's philosophy was widely known among both students and faculty.

Usually, I would get off with writing sentences about non-aggression a hundred times or so. I had no problem with this, as I always viewed the other kid as the aggressor.

As time went on, I got picked on less and less.

Most bullies [not all] are astute at knowing on whom to pick. Once a prospective victim demonstrates power, the bully will often leave him alone. (In these days of gang warfare, nothing is absolute, though. Sometimes, the bully will stalk the person who has fought back along with reinforcements. If a kid has the physical prowess to learn to defend himself or herself, it's wise for the parent to teach the kid to fight back.

My son will probably be big and strong enough to defend himself against someone his own age or slightly older as long as the person isn't carrying a knife or other weapon. My daughter is likely to be tiny. At the age of two-and-a-half she's only twenty pounds. She'll have to learn to use her words, to make friends with bigger and stronger kids, to run fast, and, if necessary, her former assistant district attorney mother will sue the parents of the little bastards or use her connections to expediate the pressing of charges. We live in a nice area, but bullying apparently happens everywhere.

As a high school student in Utah, I don't really see any bullying. There definitley isn't anything like in the movies where random people will shove someone into a locker or call them a name. At least at my school, everyone is dead tired all the time (because our start time is so early) and nobody has the energy to pick fights. Most people find a group in school (soccer, band, business, etc) and stick with those people only. If someone gets bullied, it's probably by someone in their group, probably not in the halls or during class, and there was probably something that triggered it.

If they're looking into causes for suicide, the most common reasons I hear from other kids for being suicidal are parents putting too much pressure on them, stress about college and how it will be payed for, being LGBT and not bein accepted, either by people or by their religion, abusive family, and being forced to be Mormon. Some on these would explain why the youth suicide rate is so high in Utah

This is all just what I see in high school, though. Elementsry and middle could be differant

Thanks, Ruby. It's good to here the perspective from someone presently in the trenches.

It sounds mean of me to say this, but if fatigue is preventing bullying, maybe that's a good reason to keep the early start times.
My nieces and nephews in both Utah and California complain about early start times, and some of their parents do as well. My perspective on changing it is that younger millenials already have the idea that the work world should alter itself to accommodate their needs. Some of them are going to have to work early shifts. It's just as well that today's high-schoolers get the idea that school is going to start early and end early because it's what is good for everyone else, and they'll just have to suffer through it.

I was in high school sixteen years ago, and even had before-school seminary when I was forced to show up. I remember being tired, but I think overall the early hours helped me to be prepared for the fatigue I would endure in my medical school and residency. still, I can remember the fatigue, and I'm not unsympathetic.

Hey Ruby- how goes life of our wise teen apostate?
Plans for college? Church activity? Any further cracks in the shelf?

Gatorman

Bullying is more prevalent among younger kids.

Are there people in Utah schools? Then there is bullying. Those who say not have their eyes and ears closed to the victims.

Bullying is widespread, not just a Utah/Moridor problem. As teachers, we do the best we can to address it, but we don't see or hear everything. Also, administrators are under tremendous pressure to keep suspension rates down, and this contributes to the problem. A good school will have alternative punishments, but any teacher will tell you that sometimes it takes a suspension to fully get a parent's attention and cooperation.

Often the targets of bullying are those students who are smaller, weaker, or perhaps a little bit different for one reason or another. But in Utah and the Moridor, it seems that sometimes the kids you wouldn't expect to get picked on get picked on. For instance, I remember reading an interview with Julianne Hough where she stated that when she returned to the Moridor after many years of living abroad, she was picked on by her classmates. Here you have an attractive, talented, blonde, blue-eyed girl who was the object of bullying.

For verbal bullying, often the best response is for a kid to either ignore it or just roll their eyes. I tell kids that bullies are unhappy people who are taking out their unhappiness on others.