I used to wonder why God needed to "test" us in "all things, to see if we would remain true and faithful", if He were all-knowing, all powerful, and knew us so well in the pre-existence. I asked that question in SS, and then answered my own question with this convoluted answer: We're tested so that WE can come to know our true selves. Everyone in the room nodded and smiled in agreement. Brother.

When I joined there was a line from the D&C about enduring to the end that was the church motto for the year. I always worried that I wouldn’t endure to the end — The church was perfect, I wasn’t. When I was confronted with disturbing info about the church, I rationalized that I didn’t have a deep testimony because I was a wanker.

LOL!

My grandfather was an Apostle, and he was set apart at a very young age. Before that, he had been an attorney. I was impressed with his mansion with live-in servants, limousine and chauffeur, and his trips all over the world. The whole family enjoyed his two cabins and his boats, family trips, fancy dinners, etc. My grandmother ordered anything she wanted from ZCMI, including groceries, which she had delivered to their house. She had a cook. My family always told us that being an apostle was an unpaid "volunteer position."

Even as a child, I wondered how Grandpa could afford all those luxuries, when the church didn't pay him. Then, I figured it out: God was "blessing" grandpa with wealth!

After leaping to the very evident conclusion that no divine being was connected with la iglesia mormona, I remained mormon, and played the game, because I figured that I had to have some kind of tribal allegiance and it was definite in my mind that some of the nicest, proper and respectful people I'd ever met were mormons, so being like them would do.

And it was working until my personal happiness was at stake and the church became an impediment. Being terrifically selfish, I didn't have much trouble kissing off the church and those using it to hide behind.

Which then prompted the next existential dilemma: who the hell was I?

Still working on that one...

Wait! The Mormon Church is a woman! I’m confused...

you owe women an apology...

Well, I was never a tbm - unless that stands for Totally Bored Mormonite - so I didn't recognize anything BUT my FREE AGENCY, and hopefully, someday [a] LIFE OUTSIDE TMC (the Mormon crutch).

Mormonism isn't AT ALL rational... FAIR or consistent (unless negative consistency is your thing), normally, naturally and unconditionally loving (without prejudice, guilt or shame), or even uplifting, or AT ALL interesting, 'safe', enjoyable, or even REALISTIC, so how can anyone be rational with it, namely the members (stakeholders) AND THE WORLD?

My ONLY rational was "This Is The 'Church' (I thought it was, at the time)/ CULT (church unless last times) My Mom Attends and Drags [me] Us (like a cigarette) To". I know, it's weird (in every sense of the word, in every way possible). Uncomfortable (to say the least) . Unbelievable (no matter how its cracked up or broken down). But... The LDSC (Latter Day Saint cultURE/ church) has captured our family and I prey that someday we get out of it's clutches. I have, and am keeping my fingers crossed for the others.

It's not easy being Mormon but if my FAMILY had been told THE TRUTH (if the missionaries had [told] the truth) my mother wouldn't have joined. If the members and the public was told THE TRUTH, it might be "TOO EASY" not to mention TOO diffiCULT (too much work [for nothing]) [for it (the narrative) to continue].

M@t

My (MORmON) parents and (MORmON) grandparents, who love me very much, know that THE (MORmON) church is very important and critical to having a good life, one that will not tick off Jesus. They would not lead me wrong.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7%3A9-11

I stayed in an emotionally detrimental marriage for 13 years because I knew I would be taken care of in the next life.

On my wedding night, my husband didn't want to consummate the marriage because it had been a long day. A couple of days after, he didn't want to have sex again because "we just did that yesterday!"

I knew then I had made a huge mistake.

people who were mormon. Three of my 6 siblings went inactive in their teens because of how they were treated by the ward. But ol' me, I had to stick it out even though I was treated poorly.

Then when I went to work at Thiokol, I did meet some very wonderful mormons. They actually treated me very well. I was SHOCKED. They actually thought I was a great person. They were the only group of mormons I ever met who were good and nice people. BUT they also had open minds like the fact that I should marry a nonmember that they felt was perfect for me, but, no, I coudln't do that. Stupid me. One of those good mormon men is the guy who got my old boyfriend and I back together after 27 years.

I just thought I had to believe. I knew nothing else. I stayed because I thought I had to.

The reason why power was transferred to the oldest priesthood elders in the ranking authority when a church president dies was because of the greater wisdom and insight they were endowed with, having lived longer than most of their peers. And were thus prepared to receive revelation easier than the younger men are.

Never mind some of them got dementia at that late stage in their lives. Or other crippling illnesses that make them unable to perform the duties of their office.

I actually ended up assuming that God was deliberately lying to
us because if he told us the truth we might not "behave" in the
best way--sort of how parents tell children Santa is watching and
if they're bad they'll get nothing for Christmas.

I assumed the Gospel, as was taught at Church, had to be the
"front story" and not the way it really was.

The Book of Mormon is supposed to contain the "fullness of the gospel" but even as a Mormon I wondered, where in the BOM are things like the temple? Baptism for the dead? Eternal marriage? Polygamy? The two priesthoods? The three heavens? The plan of salvation? Etc. Etc.

I suppose I rationalized like a good TBM....we'll understand in the next life which being interpreted means: Don't think too much about it.

Both my great-grandparents (on mother's side and father's side), were members of the church during the J.Smith's era.

So, as they obviously knew more than me about J.S.; let alone the fact of the Bk of Mormon, 'proved' to me that the church must be 'true'.

But, when I quit hanging onto these presumed 'facts' and began studying on my own (after my marriage, and while raising our children). Gradually, it became obvious to me that things weren't as they seemed--especially the apparent preference of God for men, over women, and especially those men who 'held' the priesthood.

These facts didn't seem, to me, to have come from a non-partial God.

So, I started educating myself, staring with the church books, which--in my studies--tore the priesthood story into an impossibility as far as truth was concerned.

As I've said before, Peter, James and John were not priest-- instead they were apostles of Jesus; and only Moses' brother, Aaron was made a high priest (by Moses), and Aaron's posterity thereafter were the only approved priests.

Moreover, Melchizedek means "King of Righteousness", and only Jesus fits the bill for this description.

But don't look to TBMs to know these things. They are blind to such things, and only believe what they are currently taught.

The past, as it appears, holds no interest to them, and besides, they are kept too busy to investigate beyond what is currently taught them in church each Sunday, and even worse, in the temple.