I taught early morning seminary (Old Testament) and about a month of New Testament. I hated the lesson manuals. I imagined them being written by maybe five people with a specific lesson being assigned to each one. They were then forced to fit every reading assignment that they were assigned to do a lesson for into that specific lesson. They then reviewed the other people's lessons and purged them of anything remotely interesting or worthy of having a real discussion about. So the lessons were all the same: how do I tell my non-mormon friends why I keep the WoW, how do I invite my inactive friends to come back to church, how do I be in the world but not of the world, how do I react to those who are in the great and spacious building, over and over and over again.
I taught Primary for ten years straight before I left the church. I wasn't good enough for anything else because I didn't attend the temple even though I had a recommend.
Their mistake. Nothing makes you question the church more than teaching a bunch of sweet three-year-olds week after week and year after year that they should follow the prophet.
I was one of the ward organists, too. They would always have to give me "loving reprimands" when I would play Bach for the post-service music. The Bishop's secretary went as far as to threaten to shut the organ off if I played "irreverent" music in the chapel again. I wasn't asked to play too many times after that.
ificouldhietokolob Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Can I get "Popular Photography" through you at a > discount? > Or is that all over? > > :)
Released one Sunday morning and never sent to Church again. It was tough but fun towards end when I went all night drinking on a Saturday night then had to conduct Sacrament just a few hours later.
Building security - ward, stake office and seminary building. At night. No one around except the occasional person who needed a warm place to sleep. Used to scare the bejeezus out of me running into someone in a dark classroom.
Building Sanitation Coordinator - no one would ever show up. Spent many a Saturday cleaning alone rocking to Led Zeppelin on my iPod. Could never get rid of the smell.
Ward Emergency Coordinator - I truly hope wards don’t have to help each other.
Cub Scout Leader - Scouts...enough said.
My last callings. All at the same time. I’ve since had the, ‘SUCKER’ tatoo removed from my forehead.
Scout Master. If you ever want a church calling that sucks you in and never lets you out, it's being a Scout Master. After begging to be released, I had to do it myself; I took my Scout Book to the Bishop's house and left it with his wife. He wasn't home of course, he was at a meeting. I told her to tell him that Scouts had been canceled for the rest of the year and never heard a word from him again. I quit all things mormon and haven't been back since.
You mean not including names behind my back, like smarty-pants, wild boy, delinquent/ non-tithe payer, questioner, non-believer, inactive, wise man, etc.?
I was called a teacher; a homey teacher. I COULD HAVE BEEN a priest, to say the least. I HOPED they wouldn't call me on anything, especially a mission.
I didn't want to 'serve the church'. It didn't deserve me.
I checked out as a teacher. Now I'm a preacher [about the truths of Mormonism... which there are few/ none].
I don't know what I was called then but NOW I make the calls.
I felt the church didn'deserve me either. I served my @ss off for that church at the cost of my health even, because i thought the great slavemaster jesus was at the head of it but i got shat on in return by everybody. I actually feel like this world doesn't even deserve me.
Ward missionary for two years so i felt i made up for not going on a mission in my mind. They wanted to make me elder's quarum secretary but i said see ya later just before it because god was not helping me so why stay i thought to myself.
At the time, it was called librarian. I had a room with a few books and magazines, and teaching supplies. I fixed people up with anything there that they could use to teach a class. It was an ok calling because it helped me hide there instead of going to relief society and sunday school.
For the last 2 years at least, I was the ward finance clerk, one of two, since they wanted 2 men to make sure no one was stealing from them, right out of the clerk's office.
No matter that I did much of the counting and totals alone in the last year, where the former bishop was a clerk as well, and for some reason he didn't show up usually until it was time to call the totals in to Wells Fargo banking something or other.
We also had to back up the tallies on a hard drive and one of us had to take it with us home each week.
Home teacher. 39 years ago long after I'd quit going to church and as a favor to a family friend. I lasted 4 months....it was fucking torture. Visiting people who really didn't want us there.
Met with leaders of other religious groups to communicate and share beliefs.
One group (Jewish), didn't want to accept me (a female), and only did so when I brought my High Priest husband with me--they were very impressed with his title.
I had church-printed calling cards with the church's logo on them, and also stationary, with my title, to hand out and use as appropriate.
At one mtg. for church representative people, I sat next to a regular street-dressed nun. (She wasn't friendly, at all.)
I was never publicly released from this job, even after I reminded them. (And, I still have a few of the business cards.)
The one and only calling I ever had was primary pianist. It's been 20 years since I did that and people STILL keep trying to get me to come back to play the piano. Pretty sure I was given piano lessons as part of Mormon grooming...haha they wish they could have my time and talent!
They started me off as Ward Missionary. I was hanging out a lot with the missionaries (same age, developed a friendship with most of them) and they didn't know what else to do with me.
They forgot that I was Ward Missionary (never released) and called me as "Stake Young Adult Representative." Not really sure what this calling was, because I got it like a month before I went inactive, but I think I was supposed to go to activities at the university branch in our stake then return and report.
Scout Leader. Yes, even as a nevermo, I had a calling.
A member of the bishopric descended upon me immediately after I married my Mormon wife and started attending SM with her. He made his pitch, and I couldn't find a polite reason to say "no" since my wife was teaching YW on the same night and at the same location as the scout meetings. I didn't want to disappoint my blushing bride.
It only lasted for about five months before I had enough and just said, "I quit!" I was beyond offering a polite explanation.
I got roped into one of my wife's callings last year when she needed last-minute help preparing food for a YW/YM retreat.
I don't remember the official title (which wasn't in English anyway) but I was something of the clerk and secretary of the Elders' Quorum. I was a natural pick. All the others were barely literate.
That didn't give much time for callings. I did briefly teach Sunday School to six year olds and was a den mother for my brother's scout group. I went VTing once or twice before I quit. What a worthless activity.