Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: January 14, 2018 08:21PM
Yes. I could write many pages on the subject.
Everyone's situation is different, but it does seem that Mormons are restricted to only a few reactions, so that does simplify things.
Maybe some of us hesitate to give you an "exit plan", because our own plans didn't work out very well for us.
I can tell you that even though your exit might bring about the Mormon reactions you fear most, whatever Hell the Mormons might put you through after leaving is nothing compared to the Hell they have put you through when you were a member. Like they say about drugs: your worst day free from Mormonism is better than your best day inside of Mormonism. I never imagine I could be this happy! I have been out for almost 10 years, and my children left with me.
I'm glad you are thinking of an exit "plan." You will know what to expect, and you will take each step one step at a time. Remember (contrary what Mormons have taught you) each individual and each individual relationship will be different.
Set personal boundaries as you go. Some have to be more strict than others, and some will change, as time goes on. Be flexible and open.
I don't know your situation, but if you are dependent on your family for financial support, and/or a place to live, postpone leaving, until you are more independent. There's a lot of good advice here on RFM on how to live with Mormons.
You will be angry, as you discover more and more lies, but try to not hate anyone. Remember that Mormons are brainwashed, and their responses are mostly rote, Pavlovian, and un-thinking knee-jerk reactions and memorized scripts. You will come out the other side with a very different view of Mormons.
Your exit plan will be your own--and that's part of the fun. Yes, getting rid of lies and opening up a whole world of possibilities can be FUN and invigorating!
Stay positive. Criticizing Mormonism to Mormons is counterproductive.
It's useless to debate with brainwashed Mormons, as they don't think like rational human beings. Still, you can drop little seeds of information, that might eventually take root and grow in the mind of a loved one. Stand firm in your right to worship how you choose. Quote that Article of Faith that says so.
The bottom line is that the Mormons will probably not listen to you. Not one Mormon has ever asked me why I left. A lot of Mormons have TOLD me why I left. No, I'm not offended, lazy, or a sinner, or a follower of Satan. I had some success in telling Mormons what I DO believe in. I do believe in unconditional love, I believe in Christ and God, I believe that Christ's Atonement saves us ALL (not just obedient Mormons).
Demonstrate to your family that you are the good person you have always been. Now is not the time to get a tattoo or start swearing or drinking. It took years, but the neighborhood ward Mormon shunners can look across the street and see a dedicated, loving single mother, someone honest and genuine, a successful career woman who has raised great children. They see us together as a family, happy, kind, helping others, living a full life, outside of any organized religion, and having a lot of fun together. It might confuse them, but a REAL (not photoshopped) picture is worth a thousand words.
Develop more self-esteem, as Mormonism is a demoralizing, soul-sucking religion. Stop being a victim. Learn to say "NO" firmly and politely, with no excuses or explanations. You owe the Mormons nothing (they owe you) and they have no power over you. The "power of the priesthood" is all made-up. The Mormons can't tell God what to do, either. God will not punish you for leaving a godless cult; in fact, life will reward you for that.
I left quietly. I thought I could leave politely, without insulting anyone, but that didn't work for me. My children and I were harassed, abused, maligned, gossiped-about, and threatened. I'll spare the details, but it was BAD. (Luckily, my career couldn't be damaged by Mormonism.) After we formally resigned, 80% of the pestering stopped. Now we are being shunned. Shunning isn't personal--it is just SOP for Mormons. Not all people are mistreated in this way, but I was a single woman, and didn't have a husband to protect me. Anyway, plan to leave as quietly and politely as you can.
You can simply stop going to church, as is your right. You can go to another church. You can gradually taper off, and begin by quitting your least favorite calling. Family will start asking questions, and pressuring you more. I let my family find out for themselves, and, as I said, they never bothered to ask why we left. I don't think you can leave without the Mormons getting mad at you. (They are a cult of hate.) Still, for your own sake, you will need to stand up for yourself, if they accuse you of being gay, or evil, or offended, or whatever. I had to stand up and be strong for my children's sake, too.
As far as what to say to them--happily, you have come up with your own perfect one-liner: To quote Saffainoz:
"My reasons for leaving is solely because of the massive deception of Mormonism which has taken many years to finally become the reality for me."
Be honest. Be real. Be loving. Be proud.
I don't have to tell you to "be happy", because you will be.
Congratulations on finding the Truth and following your heart.