My friend is offering me a kitten and I want it so badly, it’s just that I know my parents are going to freak! But I really don’t want it to go back to the shelter, so I know I can take care of it. But I am back in highschool for a few classes, so that may get in the way of me taking care of the kitten. Oh yeah, forgot to meantion, I’m also going to cat sit one of my other friends cats for a couple of weeks, but only for like a couple of weeks.

The kitten is going to be my permanent cat though, I’m not totally sure whether to be worried or not, because my TBM parents keep telling me NOT TO GET A PET!! They keep saying that “I’m not A happy person and that I would not make a good pet owner at all. But, honestly, I’m single, I live alone in my apartment and it just gets very lonely there. I just have a feeling that my parents are going to go AWOL my mom HATES animals, my dad, not as nearly as much, but he tells me that I am going to be vacuuming up hair 24-7 and cleaning up poop and pee, which if that is the task that I have to take, I will accept that task and do it, I will work extra hours for more money to pay for it. I will do whatever it takes and NOTHING will stop me. I LOVE animals like NO other person.

My parents are out of town right now and if they come back they are probably going to freak out at me. For some reason they believe that I “can’t even take care of myself right now” which I guess I’m having issues, but I honestly think it will all be fine. I’m freaking out right now because my tbm sister is ranting the hell out of me saying that it’s going to be hard and that my mom won’t be able to go to my apartment because she is allergic. Someone please help, I knew if I told anyone in my family that I was getting a cat they would go hella ballistic off there asses and I’m honestly hella scared, not because of my thoughts, but because of there thoughts about me having one.
-Thanks, x’s and o’s And worrying endlessly,



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2018 02:44PM by sunbitch.

Please...if you are living in your parents house right now, they have the right to impose whatever rules they wish...and you have NO rights (unless the house is your legal property, which I doubt it is).

Please do not put an innocent kitten (or cat) in the position of being treated badly (in whatever way...including being ignored, placed in a cage, put outside, etc.).

Right now, you do not have the means or the ability to provide for this cat yourself, which means you have to think of the cat's welfare...

...and THIS, unfortunately, means that you do need to return it to the shelter, where it has a chance of connecting with a family who WANTS it, and will care for it lovingly.

I know what you are feeling now (I have been in this position before), but you need to act in the CAT's best interest, which is NOT to be living with your parents who do not want a cat in their house.

PLEASE think of the CAT's welfare. (I had to do something similar once, and it hurt for many years afterwards...but it was necessary, and it was the adult, and ultimately, the CARING thing to do.)

Tevai, I’m sorry, I don’t know if you got the memo, I live by myself in my own apartment. They are trying to prevent me from getting an animal in which I pay for.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2018 02:42PM by sunbitch.

sunbitch Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tevai, I’m sorry, I don’t know if you got the
> memo, I live by myself in my own apartment. They
> are trying to prevent me from getting an animal in
> which I pay for.

I did not know this...thank you for telling me.

If it is your apartment (which you are paying for...so your parents do not have the legal right to interfere with your decisions)...

...then "Never mind..." [with thanks to the Church Lady of times now past].

Congratulations of your wonderful new life companion!!!

:) :) :)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2018 02:47PM by Tevai.

Tevai Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> sunbitch Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Tevai, I’m sorry, I don’t know if you got
> the
> > memo, I live by myself in my own apartment.
> They
> > are trying to prevent me from getting an animal
> in
> > which I pay for.
>
> I did not know this...thank you for telling me.
>
> If it is your apartment (which you are paying
> for...so your parents do not have the legal right
> to interfere with your decisions)...
>
> ...then "Never mind..." .
>
> Congratulations of your wonderful new life
> companion!!!
>
> :) :) :)
Thank you tevai! My family is REALLY doubting me on this one, but I think everything will be just fine!

I mean, this is going to be my first actual pet in a long time, so maybe that’s why? Who knows? My point being, I am just not understanding why they have no hope that I CAN do it. ):



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2018 05:53PM by sunbitch.

Unless you have an allergy to cats why should it matter to your parents whether you adopt a kitten or not?

It's for you, not for them. You sound like a responsible pet owner-to-be. Cats are typically low maintenance, requiring food, water, affection, clean litter, and a soft bed to sleep on, preferably yours.

They make great companion pets, and you don't need to take them outside to do their duty.

Enjoy bonding with your new kitty. Cats aren't too expensive except for the vet expense like spaying it, and getting its shots. You don't have to do that all at once though.

Have you ever had a pet before? You sound mature enough to know what you're getting into. It is a responsibility, but not heavy duty.

If you're still unsure about whether to adopt one or not, maybe visit a shelter where you can volunteer to care for some of the rescue animals.

Amyjo, Nice to hear from you by the way. I have had a pet when I was little, but I didn’t clean up after it-even though I HAVE grown. Haha, so I’d be fine. I was eight years old by the way when I had a hamster. It’s more my mom who is allergic, I mean, she comes over sometimes, but not very often.

I could definitley vacuum up the hair. I just know that she says her reactions to cats are terrible. My friend is giving me one for free actually because her cat just had babies, but they have been shot already and litter trained. I’m going to pick one in person at her house. They are providing me with some stuff, I know the expense of kitty litter and stuff like that will be a little more expensive, but I can handle working more hours in my shift.

On another note, my sister is telling me that I can barely take care of myself because I have had trouble getting ready for work, but to be honest, a cat would motivate me to become an even better and more efficient worker. my parents and family do not understand, but what say do they have in it if I’m the one taking care of it all and paying for everything anyways?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2018 03:05PM by sunbitch.

Cats make wonderful companion pets. Your mom should be happy for you that's all you're bringing home.

You sound like you're more than ready to take on the responsibility of a pet.

It's always better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

:)

A cat to which your mother is allergic sounds like a perfect prescription to help rid YOUR apartment of unwanted pests.

meow Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A cat to which your mother is allergic sounds like
> a perfect prescription to help rid YOUR apartment
> of unwanted pests.


Meow, you definitley sound like you know what you are talking about. Isn’t the Mormon religion all about having faith anyways?

Shouldn’t they be having actual faith in me that I can get this done? I really don’t understand Mormon families in all honesty.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2018 05:48PM by sunbitch.

sunbitch, their behavior is not about their own faith, but about deminishing or destroying your own faith in yourself, so that their own needs are met, while yours are secondary. It is really not a "Mormon" or "faith" thing, but a selfish thing.

It is really not hard to understand, but it is difficult to believe and accept about one's own family. You love them, and believe they love you, and I have no doubt that each "side" believes those statements of one another, so....

How is it possible that they put their best self-interests in front of your best self-interests, when it comes to decisions you are learning to make for yourself?



Tear that question apart, break it down to its bones, answer it as honestly as is possible, and revisit it as often as needed. Eventually, your confusion will diminish. There are likely to be phases of "answers," so please try to avoid settling on any single result as "the truth." Truth in "feelings" is a multi-faceted thing of many colors, and bringing those many facets together can lead you to peacefulness.


A more difficult question, strictly for and about you -

Why is their opinion of whether or not to have a pet so important to you?



Another consideration:

If you have never had a pet, have you spent time at a shelter, to become more familiar with their care, needs, habits and differing personalities? I have no doubt that you will be fine as a pet owner, but do yourself a favor, and get used to the little things, like how they show affection (and not), like to play, the committment involved. You might want to be in a position to offer your family a little evidence that you know what you are doing.

Best to you, sunbitch. Your heart is in the right place, and working fine. All will be well.

Cats are wonderful companions, they walk all over your keyboard, and knock over your coffee cup, then curl up in your lap while you watch 'Jeopardy'. Make sure to cat-proof the apartment by tying up loose shutter cords, etc.

And when we're having a bad day, they know how we feel.


They don't care, but they know... :-)

I agree.
But if I'm wrong, there are other factors to consider.
Do you like to travel? It's cruel and unsafe to leave a cat alone in an apt for more than a few days. Who can you count on to come to your apartment and care for the cat if you go on vacation? What happens if you get sick and require hospitalization?
Cat food, cat toys, and litter are cheap compared to veterinary costs. Expect to shell out at least a hundred dollars a year over the life of a cat, and it's not uncommon for cats to live more than twenty years.
Severity of cat allergies of course varies widely. I have seen people involuntarily exposed to cat hair on somebody else's clothes exhibit streaming eyes and nose with labored breathing within five seconds of exposure. Trips to the ED are expensive and often painful. If your goal is to weaken your relationship with your mother, this might do it.
If you are still completing high school classes, what comes next?
College dorms usually don't allow cats. You're fortunate now to have an apartment that allows cats. Do you want that to be a determinant of where and with whom you live for the foreseeable future?
What if any of these worst-case scenarios happen and you have to give up the cat to a shelter? How would that effect your mental state?
AmyJo had a good idea about going to a animal shelter. However, where I live volunteers must go through a screening process that can take weeks. I'd recommend going there and saying you're thinking of adopting a cat. Most shelters let you sit in a room and interact with the cats, and you will want to adopt most of them. Then go home and see how you handle the hair all over your clothes and everywhere you sit. You won't be able to remove all of it in the washer and dryer. Most people need a good vacuum and lint rollers with lots of refills. Pet owners I know swear by a SleekEZ, which is a metal brush/comb that animals love to be groomed with, and you can also use on clothes, car seats, fabric and furniture to remove hair.

Cats are definitely wonderful companions. I have three cats, one of which is curled up on my lap at the moment.
Cats are such easy animals. The only gripe I have is the hair and the puking, which, I think they purposefully try to do on the carpet. Other than that, they are the best! I would definitely prefer the company of my cats over most humans, any day.
As far as your family goes, I'd say don't listen to them. You're old enough to make your own decisions now. You're obviously responsible enough to have your own apartment, so why not a cat? Just as long as you can always be able to provide a house for yourself and your cat and not have to move back in with your parents. Good luck!

My moniker is Cate (which was my old cat's name--she died last summer [long for cat.])

I love animals and have always had pets as a child and an adult.

I can tell you that you will LOVE having a furry companion. Your little kitten will add such richness and dimension to your life.

All you have to do is scoop her litter daily, give her food and fresh water daily and LOVE her and she will love you right back.

If you can't afford a spay/neuter, call the local animal shelter in your area and ask them for any information they can give you regarding free/reduced price neuter programs.

Also, make sure you get her her necessary shots like rabies, distemper and feline leukemia.

Congratulations on your new companion! You are going to love her so much! And she's going to be grateful to you for the rest of her life!

A feline cat adopted me while I was in college. My landlord wasn't going to let me keep a cat, until this mangy looking gray mess of a cat followed me home from school one day between the campus and my apartment. It was an alley cat that I'd pass in the morning on my way to school. It would stick its head up from the garbage can to watch me as I passed by.

On that particular day in spring I'd just dropped my mom a postcard in the mailbox that when I transferred to a regular four-year university after that semester was over to downstate, I was going to adopt a cat. The postcard was mailed from campus.

As I proceeded home from there through the alley way on my normal route, there was that mangy looking gray mess of a cat again watching me. Only this time it jumped out from the garbage can, put its tail up high and pranced alongside me all the way home from school to my daylight apartment by the lake. It had the prettiest blue eyes set against a gray backdrop of fur I had ever seen.

It was grinning at me in a Cheshire cat kind of way, like "I got you now, sucker." :D And he sure did.

He waltzed into my apartment as soon as I opened the door, and made himself at home. My landlord lived upstairs with her husband. She was a retired college professor. My apartment used to be her mother's when her mother was alive. It came furnished and had like Persian rugs and nice decor. She was strict about her no pets policy.

That was before she met Cally, the cat. After Cally cleaned himself up he became the most pristine ivory white cat I had ever seen. With a keen intellect to match. My landlady was as smitten with him as I was, so she let me keep him.

He became my companion cat the same day I sent that postcard to my mom that I was planning on adopting a cat in the very near future. Only Cally had other plans for me, and adopted me that very same day.

That's the thing about cats, sunbitch. You only believe you're adopting him or her. In reality, it is they who adopt YOU. :)

My cat makes my house a home. He has to go to the vet 2-3 times a year for all day testing, and I miss him sorely if I am home and he is not. He is my buddy, and a wonderful companion. I love him dearly!

Since you have your own place, nobody but you gets a say in the matter. Enjoy your new kitten! I think kitty will give you a whole lot of joy. Just be mindful that from now on out, you will need to make the extra effort to find pet-friendly places to live.

Get a brush and brush your cat once or twice a week. The cat will enjoy it and you will enjoy watching your cat enjoy it. Vacuum at normal intervals. If you have wall-to-wall carpeting, it would benefit from a yearly steam-cleaning (you can rent a rug cleaner at some grocery or hardware stores.)

Other than that, you just have to cover food and litter. Don't let a cat outside if there is a lot of traffic. You can walk a cat on a harness and leash much like you walk a dog. As for vet bills, check out vet care at Petco (they have periodic immunization clinics that are quite reasonable in price,) or inexpensive vaccination and spay/neuter clinics put on by the local SPCA.

I don't like people who don't like animals. but if you live alone and are above 18, your parents can't tell you what do. i'd say get the cat and save his life

I've had quite a few assorted cats and dogs during my lifetime. loved them all, lil furbabies that they are.

Hope you update us on what you decide. It is a big decision because you are responsible for the welfare of the animal you ultimately decide to adopt (and who adopts you.)

:)

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