What was the first thing you did right after you quit the LD$ cult? For me, I mailed my exit letter and then took a long hot shower to wash off their cooties!
I had a client who told me that when he figured out the church was bogus he immediately scheduled a meeting with the SP hoping for some answers. They couldn't answer his questions so he told them he quit.
The first thing he did was go find a bar and he ordered a beer. He also bought some cigars and tried smoking. The whole thing made him sick as he had never touched any tobacco or alcohol his entire life.
I don't think that is the classiest way to quit, but it cracked me up. And he had a good laugh about it too.
then a regular tea, then I took off the garments. I started slowly then it was all about priorities. Changing the horrible underwear for human underwear was higher than just about anything, once all that tea cracked the facade of Mormonism.
Absolutely,the first thing I did was take off the garments,put them in a grocery bag,and toss them in the trash. I thought it would really bother me for awhile-I had worn them for 37 years. But I loved it from the first day. Then I bought a cross necklace and skipped on over to Starbucks. Didn't have a clue what to order,got hot chocolate,but it was sooooo normal!
My family noticed how much more relaxed I was when I quit trying to be a perfect Mormon. My sister said, "You are so much easier to be around now!"
I think that more than anything perplexed my family. If someone is happier and more at ease outside the church than in, what does it say about the religion?
and other rated R movies I always wanted to see. I also bought cute underwear and workout gear I could wear without garments! It was so awesome. My husband was a bit surprised at my purchases (he was the one to lead me out, but I ditched the garments before him!), but he was not reluctant at all for me to throw all my garments in the trash!(yea right I was going to cut out all the marks and burn them!)
Stuff that came later: "immodest" clothing, a bit of swearing, tried coffee, but have yet to try alcohol. I've been out about 16 months, but officially resigned this past March.
Hmmm let me think - not necessarily in this order: 1. ditched the G's 2. make a coffee/mocoa blend to drink 3. drank reg. tea - iced usually 4. dropped all "callings" 5. stopped reading the scriptures 6. didn't use prayer for anything 7. expanded my reading materials including LDS history (the real history) = Took my life back! Oh, and wrote about it - - - - almost daily, while laughing a LOT!
I used to hide all my books and music. I only brought them out when I was alone. It was so freeing to realize I could leave my copy of The Satanic Verses on the table. I didn't have to hide anything anymore.
threw them all away. The scriptures soon followed. I now have a Bible and ONLY a Bible and consider myself a nondenomenational Christian, i.e. no dogmas, only the pure light of Christ not filtered by the Morg. I can worship while walking in nature and talking to and feeding the birds. Woohoo!
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/25/2010 10:48PM by FreeRose.
I would tell my friends, and they would say things like "Err.. you're just now figuring this out? I bailed from the Catholic church when I was 13." *sigh*
A lot of my friends expressed that they never understood how I was faithful and that they secretly thought I was brainwashed in the faith department. They all told me that they considered it a cult.
While walking away from the last ward I ever attended, I smiled. I smiled because I'd just told the bishop and everyone else goodbye and I was done. Sacrament Meeting was starting and I was going home to take off my damn dress and relax.
The first thing was to look up all anti-mormon stuff, now that the church couldn't tell me what to do anymore. I was dying to know what everyone was saying about us!
Then I had a pina colada, my first alcoholic drink, from Azteca, which I gagged on every sip. Started drinking coffee too. Love it!
Rented every R rated movie I had always wanted to see. All the good movies were rated R and couldn't watch them.
Oh yeah stopped reading my scriptures and praying.
then I got REALLY drunk. I'd been soooo good always turning down my buddies, never even cussing. I didn't want to show anyone in the Marines that I was Mormon and not following all the rules. So I ditched them ALL pretty fast.
I made myself a cup of coffee and felt no guilt or the need to hide it. I also threw away my BOM, RS lesson manual, and other cult items, and the only thing I kept was my American standard Bible that I've had for many years. I also bought myself a cross necklace that I still wear when I feel like it.
and begged their forgiveness (again) for trying to force them into a hoax cult! I apologized for not listening to them, when they told me they hated church. I had ignored their complaining, and never asked them WHY they hated church. I apologized for taking the side of the church leaders, instead of taking the side of my own children. I honestly thought my children needed the Mormon cult.
I had them play me their favorite (Mormon-banned) music, and discovered I quite liked good heavy-metal.
We had a family "truth session."
They told me all the horror stories of their Mormon friends and their families, that they had been afraid to tell me, for example: beatings, secrets of a GA who lives in our neighborhood, that our home teacher's RM son didn't die accidentally but committed suicide, a friend's sister gave birth to a baby and left it in a drawer to die (that was on the news), the bishop's daughter wasn't working in Alaska but was actually in a mental institution, a TBM neighbor set fire to his business to collect the insurance money, the model Eagle Scout on the corner had been selling drugs, and the 14- and 16-year old sisters who bore their testimonies every fast Sunday were having sex--but only with Mormon boys--and telling the details during YW. Kids often know more about what's going on than adults do. They watch and listen, and no one notices them.
I reciprocated by telling the names and circumstances of every married Mormon man in our ward who hit on me, jokingly or otherwise, or complained about his wife to me, or touched me inappropriately. To call them on thier disrespectful behavior felt liberating!
We got everything out in the open! We still communicate freely, but we haven't gossipped like that since--UGH!
That was one family pizza night we'll never forget! Unbelieveable! I don't know if it is just our neighborhood, but I was so glad to end any association with so many scumbags. The few good Mormons weren't worth rolling in the muck with the others. And these people felt superior to me and my children because we were a "broken home."
I ran out and found someone whith whom to have non-commital promiscuous sex with... Enjoyed that very much, then repeated it many many many times with many many different men... for about a year until I got it out of my system and I decided I wanted to find a husband...
I didn't even start drinking coffee, tea or alcohol until I had been out for a few years.
There were several things I did the weekend that I realized I was leaving, but I think the first thing I noticed, and also my family around me, was that I started expressing myself more strongly. They commented right away that it was as if I had gotten my personality back.
I was a convert, having gotten baptized very soon after marrying my TBM ex, who went on to have many, many affairs during our 9 years of marriage.
Other things that happened right away: new underwear, short sleeve tops, not paying tithing, not feeling "special" or chosen. all good stuff. Like clear, clean water after a drought.
I've been taking it one step at a time. 1. Green tea 2. Black tea 3. No garmies 4. coffee 5. red wine
But the very first thing I did when I got released from my church job (which was the last official tie I had to the church) was just grinned and grinned. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face for a couple of days.
Well, I have to preface my answer by saying that I lost my faith in the church and God during the worst depressive episode of my life. I came close to suicide. I had to leave BYU and this saved my life in retrospect. I spent about 6 weeks barely getting out of bed before I started to feel better.
I felt like - well - I did all you guys asked me to do and this is how it ended up? I kept up my end of the bargain. I was no longer that afraid of the consequenses of letting go of the iron rod, because I didn't imagine I'd end up in worse shape than I'd been at BYU.
So, on one particularly energetic day I went to Victoria's Secret and purchased $200 worth of new bras and panties - pretty stuff, not like the plain white modest granny panties I'd grown up with. Then I asked a friend of mine to take my virginity. Then I went dancing and got drunk on screwdrivers.
And guess what, the farther I got from the church the happier I was. I found peace and joy for the first time in my life as well as the self-esteem that had always dogged me as a TBM.
That was nearly 19 years ago. Life has been good and is good still!