I didn't want to advise on this thread. My condolences. I've been through it.

https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2079526

For awhile I said that I was struggling with believing in Jesus. I mentioned to my wife many times how untenable a tale godly atonements were becoming for me.

I just didn't get howcomes God (big G) needed to reproduce something with as big a head (godhead) as Himself in order to sacrifice it for Himself. God can forgive people so why was Jesus needed?

After a few years of disparaging The Savior I took aim at the big guy himself and I still am questioning with my wife the whole concept of "God."

She was very concerned when I brought up Jesus and needed me to confirm that I "still believe in God."

She is still with me. I honestly think it might have more to do with our relationship than anything else. Mormons are baffled as to why she would stay with me. And it gets worse if they know I'm not a Jesus believer. They seriously think my wife is going through life with one of the biggest challenges their gods could devise - shackled to an unbelieving spouse with their eternity up in the air.

I hope this insight shows someone that it is dealing with their beliefs crumbling in front of their spouses that it might not mean divorce but I will tell you I was wondering.

My problem was as I was changing from a somewhat believing Mormon into an apostate and then a dreaded atheistically inclined agnost I also was losing my "give a crap" sensitivities. I've lived over half of my life. That is a wakeup call. When it comes to choosing which delusions to support, this religious beliefs one seems to me to be the most absurd and difficult to support. I think sometimes cognitive dissonance is preferable to cognitive deceptions if you are trying to support a partner in their beliefs. I would prefer to compartmentalize my conflicting beliefs than attempt to try to believe something for the sake of another which I find absurd, potentially harmful to myself and completely unappealing to me.

I think it's a natural progression. Many people won't take that step.It takes balls to admit to yourself that lifelong beliefs may not be true. Many people avoid that reality. You're still the same great person that you are to your wife. You just have a new awareness. Hang in there.

StillAnon Wrote:
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> You're still the
> same great person that you are to your wife. You
> just have a new awareness. Hang in there.

Thank you. That is her reasoning and hopefully this will be the reasoning of the wife of the poster if they both want to stay together.

It is amazing how many people mate for basically religious reasoning in Mormonism. I had a few chances to pair myself with a person solely based upon our shared ages, differing reproductive equipment, and shared religious outlook.

I wanted something more. I told God that He had to provide me with the sign that I was to marry the person and make that possible.

Little did I know that it was mostly my unconscious and genetic predisposition which caused this "sign" to happen. She still believes it was God.

If your wife truly loves you she will understand, or she will probably stay with you because she is terrified of living single. Either way you probably will not see divorce. She most likely will choose to remain in the matrix and eat virtual stake. The reality is that you are living with a grown child. At least your children have you, one good example of a person who accepts and takes responsibility... they have some hope of escaping religious bondage.
If you were BIC, the foolishness of your parents has taken you to this position. Don't knowingly let your kids fall into this path.
Love is real, god is bullshit.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/15/2018 11:38PM by chipace.

chipace Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If your wife truly loves you she will understand,
> or she will probably stay with you because she is
> terrified of living single. Either way you
> probably will not see divorce. She most likely
> will choose to remain in the matrix and eat
> virtual stake. The reality is that you are living
> with a grown child. At least your children have
> you, one good example of a person who accepts and
> takes responsibility... they have some hope of
> escaping religious bondage.

I know and it hurts. It is a bit more than merely taking responsibility in my opinion. It is applying your powers of perception when red flags appear to evaluating your religious beliefs. Mormons just think I'm an axe grinder but when I learned how following the hierarchy had more clout than an individual leader making moral decisions based upon what they thought I knew I was making the right choice in reducing the power of my religious beliefs in my own estimation.

> If you were BIC, the foolishness of your parents
> has taken you to this position. Don't knowingly
> let your kids fall into this path.
> Love is real, god is bullshit.

I'm trying to. It is a real battle waging war against culturally created and networking enhanced predilections for being deluded by religious belief.