Posted by:
cludgie
(
)
Date: February 21, 2018 01:41PM
My TBM sister is on a crusade to get me to stop swearing. But she says things like "Bugger!" all the time, or "It's buggered!," essentially meaning "It's fucked!" In American English, it's a tame word without much meaning, but refers, or course, to anal sex. I don't think she knows that. She'll also call (only Democratic) politicians things like, "A useless jerk-off." Again, I don't think she really knows what she's saying. Bugger is not used by Americans, so has no real value. She likely has no idea of the verb "to jerk off." I guess I'm just suggesting that if you adopt some colorful English phrases from outside North America, and unfamiliar to Americans, you're good to go, even inside a Mormon church. Or... Adopt some foreign words! Examples:
You could say, for instance, the Italian "Cazzo!" (pronounced "KAHT-so," and means "goddammit!," or "fuck!!"), or "ma che cazzo!?", for "what the holy fuck?!" (You can greatly soften "cazzo" by saying "cavolo," which is a euphemism and only means "cabbage.") Or call someone a "stronzo," which--although literally just meaning "turd"--is the Italian word that translates to "asshole." Say it when you're in bad traffic; it eases your mind. Or the somewhat lighter "porca miseria!" And don't forget that you can dress up any Italian cursing with references to the Holy Mother: "Porca Madonna!" "Che cazzo della Modonna!" (Like "Jesus fucking Christ."
Or... Go French Canadian, and yell out one of their weirdly religious curse words like, "Tabernak!" It just means "tabernacle," of course--referring to the tabernacle on the alter in mass; to the 'Cois it's strong profanity. Somehow. Or yell out, "Osti de tabernak de câlice!" All it means is like "host of the tabernacle chalice" (a reference again to the holy mass), but is the same as saying "Jesus fucking Christ!" The Quebecois are strange and wonderful people. I get the impression that they are all Catholic, but don't much like it.
German cursing also wouldn't sound like much. "Du SAU, du!" means "you sow, you!," but is used as "bitch." Calling someone a sow in public will get you arrested by the police for violating the German anti-insult ordinance. Or "Ach, du Scheisse!" (with a very hard "S"). It means "Oh, you shit!," but is used when you or someone else screws something up or cuts you off in traffic, things like that. "Scheisse" isa much softer word in Germany, believe it or not, than "shit" is to English. Small children say it. If you don't like it, replace it with the fun euphemism, "scheibenkleister!" I guess it's like replacing "shit" with "sugar," which some people do. Scheibenkleister only means something like "disc glue," which is stupid, but it's a fun word. "Scheibenkleister!" I love to say it. When I was a soccer referee in Germany, I'd tell the kids they had to say "Scheibenkleister" instead of shit during play, because the rules say that swearing is a carding offense.
The world is your oyster. I'm only trying to be helpful. I'm just waiting for the bathroom to free up, and have time on my hands.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2018 01:44PM by cludgie.