It has been a long journey out of the cult. I quit wearing garments over two years ago and finally had a good talk with my dear wife. I told her that I can not honestly pass a temple recommend interview anymore because I no longer (and have not for a long time) sustain the church leaders. So many major issues I could name...Joseph Smith and his marrying other men's wives and young girls, sanitized church history, Mark Hoffman and the church's coverup and lies, what my precious sisters went through when they were asked very personal sexual questions that were none of the bishop's business, Hinckley's "I don't know that we teach it..." so many lies.
I just could not come to grips with Monson's war against the LGBTQ community and the fact that children in same sex relationships could not be baptized and would have to denounce their parents at age 18 if they wanted to be in the church. I have read the Bible cover to cover numerous times and I have never found a passage where Jesus turned anyone away.
I served a 2 year mission in Chicago and I actually enjoyed it very much. I was married in the temple and raised 4 wonderful children. I was very much a TBM. I gave the church everything I had and did my very best to live the gospel. I had to finally come to terms with the creeping doubts and the stream of lies that I had unsuccessfully tried to ignore. I can no longer be part of or support such a hateful, misogynistic cult.
I have faithfully paid tithing since I was converted in 1979 at Ricks College. I figure the cult got me for more than $200,000 over the years. I remember one time I was in the San Diego Temple when I wandered upstairs and into one of the sealing rooms. I just wanted to sit and ponder for a few minutes. Some asshole temple worker came in and kicked me out. I held my peace but I wish I would have told him, "Hey asshole, I have paid so much tithing to this church I probably more than paid for this room and several others so back off!"
Part of me is frightened because of the depth of conditioning and brainwashing we were all subjected to. "If you pay your tithing you won't be burned when Jesus comes again." I just wish I would have set up four savings accounts and put the tithing money equally into each. Could have really helped my children out. I am so grateful that my wife supports me in this. Gosh I hate this church and what it has done to so many people.
So many gay young people have killed themselves because of the message of guilt and hate that came from the so-called Prophet's mouth. The church leaders have blood on their hands. I can not be part of this organization, nor will I support it.

"I can not be part of this organization, nor will I support it."

I totally agree and for me, the next step was to resign.

It takes time for the brainwashing to fade. And, no, you won't be doomed if you don't pay tithes, in fact, our lives improved immensely.

Two of my siblings are extremely TBM and have always paid a full tithe.

Four of us are exmos and we haven't paid a cent during our adult lives. We have always been much better off financially than the two hard liners.

It's a myth about tithing making anyone secure financially.

If someone were richer after paying tithing once in a hundred times, I'd be surprised. It doesn't make sense to pay out money and be left with more of it. Besides, mormons don't usually have educations as good as those who didn't go on missions and who might have married later. They often have more children and the moms often stay home and and earn little or no money for their work.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/03/2018 01:18PM by Cheryl.

Good for you. I still had some level of belief when I quit paying and I remember crying and being terrified of what would happen. I was living in California. My ugly rental house was making me miserable and I knew I'd need every last penny to buy. Three times we tried to transfer out to a reasonable housing market area--fasting and praying each time.

So we bought a small house with a good floor plan and a nice yard. Hubby never believed so he was fine with no tithing. Everything cooked along just fine. I remember sitting in my new kitchen after my girls were in bed. I was thrilled with my new situation. Nothing bad happened. What kind of a God would burn someone for doing what was best for their family?

All the best.

Cults brainwash people into thinking that you owe them money and your free work.
Bad things will happen if you stop given to them.

What a joke.

BETTER things will happen when you break free of the cult's iron grasp.

Another fear tactic they use is the idea of eternal family.

My sister-in-law was mortified/shocked to know we were leaving the church. Her first thought was how could we be willing to give up our eternal family. lol She's pretty drunk on the kool-aid.

eternal1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Another fear tactic they use is the idea of
> eternal family.
>
> My sister-in-law was mortified/shocked to know we
> were leaving the church. Her first thought was
> how could we be willing to give up our eternal
> family. lol She's pretty drunk on the kool-aid.

Yea that eternal family is a pretty big control tactic. But it's just weird thinking about being with your family forever. I don't even like being around my family, never have. So that manipulation doesn't really work on me that much. Who the hell really wants to be with their family for an eternity?

All of my savings, over 95 grand has gone into recovery. I won't let them kill me as they did my friends and every other victim of this insidious and horrendous cult that hides behind the name of jesus.

I'm proud of you Evileric! It's like jumping off a cliff...trust yourself and you will land just fine!

We were SO brainwashed into accepting all that dogma as the Holy Grail.

I believe in charitable giving. The money we donated to TSCC was never for charity except for maybe the fast offering, if that.

If God loves a cheerful giver, fine. I'm still not okay paying fat salaries for the general authorities or the council of the seventy. Or for Temple Square. Or for City Creek Shopping Center. Or for all the real estate holdings around the world, and the temples to increase their commercial resale value.

The church is a very large enterprise run like a corporation. Knowing that is where the tithes and offerings go, isn't what I had in mind when I once paid tithing. They fleece from the poor to build those investments, that the members have no property rights in or shares *unless* you carry a temple recommend to perform cult rituals for the living and the dead. All others need not apply.

No thanks. Not my cup of tea. Nor my idea of 'heaven on earth.' It's a Pyramid Scheme.

Congratulations! You will find a whole new freedom in not paying tithing to that insidious cult.
I remember feeling such a sense of relief and more control over my life. I was TBM at the time too. I reasoned that any God would want me to feed my family first.
Hope you can walk free completely of the cult soon. Life has never been so good here on the outside of the madness.
Sending you big hugs from this MexMom.

I grew up Catholic and attended various mainstream Protestant churches over the years. I never once heard anything like, "If you pay your tithing you won't be burned when Jesus comes again." Why would Jesus want anyone burned? It makes no sense. Most Christians voluntarily pay far less than 10% to support their churches, usually in a range between 2-3%, but sometimes less. And the churches seem to get along just fine.

Enjoy having that extra money to spend or save as you see fit.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "If you pay your tithing you
> won't be burned when Jesus comes again." Why would
> Jesus want anyone burned?

Imagine being told that as a child. By your parents. On every Monday night during Family Home Evening. They even would joke with us that it was our 'fire insurance'. WTF. The absolute mind f&ck that tssc does to children is unconscionable.

Congrats to the OP on getting out and giving yourself a raise! You deserve to be happy and only do things that you want to do, not things (like paying tithing, etc., etc.) out of obligation.

Congratulations.
When I have donated to a charity that I felt was a good cause, I didn't donate for the thank you but still any real charity has always expressed appreciation in a letter or in person. With tithing it was just an expectation that you pay to be part of TSCC. No thanks involved, ever.

No matter how nice you are or how good a person you are, you cannot be "worthy” to the Mormon Church without paying a full tithe.

The tithe is the most important thing to Mormonism. I always thought that was a tipoff to the corruption of the religion.

Well done. How are you kids feeling about your departure from church? At least you saved them from a lifetime of wasting time and money.

I hope whomever was assigned by the Strengthening Church Members Committee to monitor RfM today choked on his sea gull stew when he read the title of the OP.

Fellow Chicago mission alum here. When did you serve?

I stopped paying tithing at age tweleve. I found the whole thing ridiculous - especially when I saw my family struggling. Many times we had to eat from food storage, and my parents did only partial tithe plenty of times.

I only gave the Holy Profits like 30 bucks - if that.

Not paying tithing is one of the best things i ever did. Congratulations OP! Contrary to what tscc told you, things get better for you when you have more money.

you are way way late on that !!

Brigham Young said that MORmON members really did not need to be paying MORmON tithing clear back in 1870! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wALvdgurB4

OHHHH but, LD$ Inc does not mention that fact in any of its conference talks or priestDUD manuals.

here is the correct Brigham Young link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwkFavjPsdE

You crossed a milestone, good for you !!!!!!!! You'll never

be sorry. Paying tithing is just a bogus way that Religions

get rich which is their only reason for being.

Amen brother!

I've tried to figure the amount of tithing I have given over the years. I know it's greater than $30K and probably less than $50K but it still hurts when you realize that you thought you were giving to a good and charitable cause and you ultimately realized you were just supporting a very large corporation that gave you nothing substantial in return but lies and empty promises. In that respect $10 was too much.

$200K is more than many Mormons ever have on which to retire. Shameful.

Good on you! Keep on going.
It is quite frightening how much brainwashing and lying goes on in the TSCC. They feed us the sunshine and cupcakes and live the integral parts of the church hidden.
I was fed the sunshine and cupcakes when I investigated and joined when I was a very naive twenty-two year old. Now I'm going through the recovery process, and all the while trying to discover myself.

I do pay tithing in a way...to my savings account! :-D
Now I have a healthy amount of money in the bank to help me should any emergencies come about, or if I want to treat myself to a vacation. I remember shredding all of my tithing slips and tithing summaries while I was in the middle of moving out of my TBM rommate's house, and thought to myself, "If I had put the 10% of my paycheck, along with the amount of fast offerings into my savings account, I'd have a lot of money right now."

Again, keep moving forward. So glad that your wife is supportive.

You do realize that MORmON Jesus may have to incinerate you

then again IF there really is a god then He will be so busy punishing Brigham Young and Joseph Smith ....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtc-oHCLFa8

Thank you all for your comments! I so appreciate them! To answer some questions: I served in the Illinois Chicago South Mission from 1980 to 1982. My first mission president was D. Keith Barber. He and his wife were a real piece of work. Very uptight. The only question he ever asked me during our interviews was: "Well Elder, do you have a problem with masturbation?" Never asked how I was doing or how the work was coming along or what he could do to help. And, for the record, I never pleasured myself during my entire mission. I wanted to be a successful missionary and live the mission rules. Thank goodness I never converted anyone but I sure tried my best. President Barber would not allow us to listen to any music except the MoTab. I got fed up one day and went to the library and listened to Beethoven's 9th Symphony to help me restore my sanity. That was one of my major acts of rebellion! My next mission president was a good man. His name was Charles Peterson and he and his wife were wonderful to the missionaries. Never asked personal questions but always treated us decently and with respect.
My wife and I taught our children to think for themselves and all have left the church except my youngest daughter. My wife is nervous about us not paying tithing anymore and this is a big step for us. She is still TBM. When I quit wearing garments over two years ago, I re-discovered the joys of sleeping naked. Amazing the control the cult has over us but I am breaking free.
Thank you for all your help. I have read the posts on RFM for the past several years and I am so grateful for the support I receive here.

Barber was a prick from Pasco, WA. Was he a former insurance guy or an attorney? I cannot remember.

I never paid tithing in the 32 years I was a member,paid fast offering,was fairly easy for me as hubby was nevermo and refused to pay tithing,as i did'nt work ( due to health conditions)I was excused as no income,one Bishop told me to pay tithing on stuff I would buy myself like clothes/magazines what the heck was that about,had TR as classed as none tithed but no income,so pleased i don't need to look back and feel the way some of you guys do about the money you paid,as a family we had direct payments for save the children,Red Cross and Salvation Army,also Veterans charity.I did however spend quite a lot on Primary and Relief Society stuff as ward never seemed to have a budget,always told it was or the youth,one year I was asked to buy Easter Eggs for the primary kids,was told I would be reimbursed,went to the clerk with receipt and told no money in the budget.

Here's a mind screw for you. Take a look at this lesson on tithing on the church's website, especially the portion involving the game, near the bottom of the page.

https://www.lds.org/manual/family-home-evening-resource-book/lesson-ideas/tithing?lang=eng

How on earth does "pay a portion of what you owe on each other bill" work in the real world? Will your mortgage company accept less than a full payment? Perhaps that'll work at the grocery store. No? Oh, well, there's always church welfare (then again, maybe not).

This is just one reason I quit paying several years ago...

This is my favorite passage from the church position paper (lesson):

"'Wise family budgeting begins with obeying the law of tithing, for the payment of tithing puts the mind at ease and alert to cope with other essentials of family financial matters' (John H. Vandenberg, in Conference Report, Oct. 1966, p. 69; or Improvement Era, Dec. 1966, p. 1124)."


I can picture 'Fat Tony' from The Simpsons whispering that in the ear of someone who owes the mob money...

I remember mocking people who call in and give to TV evangelists and I thought they were so foolish. Now I see that paying tithing to the opaque LDS church is the exact same thing if not worse.

I now donate to organizations of my own choosing instead of outsourcing my charity to the LDS corporation where at best the money goes to the maintenance of a bunch of crumbling Mctemples.
I estimate that over my entire life, I have given a total of $175,000 to the LDS church. Geeze, that could have paid off my mortgage. Congrats on finding your way out.

To think I once had to convince my husband to "pay tithing first". Much later, he wanted to give what we didn't have, and so we came to an agreement that we would give 'so much' as a compromise between us. (He never had a sense about spending what one has, versus, not having the money to spend---so he'd write a check as though that didn't count.)