Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: March 04, 2018 12:24PM
We used to entertain a lot in California, and when we moved to Utah, life went on as usual. Our new house had a formal dining room, and a nice yard and patio for barbecues, so we had family and friends for some fun dinners. With larger groups, we would have a separate children's table in the kitchen. We Mormon neighbors, including our home teachers, the visiting teachers, my RS presidency, friends, our children's friends and their parents, business friends, etc.
A neighbor asked me, "How's it going...all your entertaining? We have lived in this ward for 30 years, and have NEVER had anyone reciprocate--not even once!"
Curious, I got out the old guest lists, and did the research:
All the family members and old friends and children's friends reciprocated. NONE of the ward people invited is back. What? I looked on my old calendars.
--Ward weddings, because we were in the Ward Directory, even if we didn't know the bride or groom. We had taken a gift each time. Actually, we weren't invited to the weddings, just the reception, afterwards.
--Ward parties hosted at someone's house. They used to have annual Christmas parties for the RS and for the Primary people. We were invited to the High Priest dinner (my husband was not a high priest) a few times, until I said, "no." At all of these parties, I was expected to play the piano, while people sang Christmas carols.
--The "Ward Neighborhood Summer Party", is still an on-going event. The assigned hosts don't invite the neighbors inside their house, but set up folding tables and chairs (borrowed from the ward) in their DRIVEWAY. People must bring their own meat, and an assigned salad, side dish, or dessert.
--Ward baby showers and bridal showers. The assigned RS participants chipped in on the food, and took turns using our houses. We either brought money for a group gift, or a gift of our own. Often, I wouldn't know the guest of honor.
--Yes, those MLM sales parties for women. We were lucky if we got a cup of punch, if anything, and we were pressured into buying something, or else made to feel bad if we didn't want anything. Very not-fun.
--Remember those "progressive dinners?" I don't think they do do those anymore. One house would have appetizers, one the main course, one the dessert, or whatever, at ward-assigned houses.
These don't count as "real parties."
Kids' birthday parties are different, and are for kids only--but one must bring a present. Mormon parents drop off and pick up at the door. This is why I always had them come into my house, to fetch their children--to be more welcoming and friendly. (Many of our non-Mormon friends include adults at these parties, and they are fun.)
You will be fine, if you don't expect Mormons to be polite, or behave like normal people. It isn't anything against you, personally--except if you are an apostate--so it is something against you--I suppose....
Our family of apostates had another great Christmas season, enjoying our family and extended families, and non-Mormon friends, and Christmas open houses, and business parties, etc. We didn't miss going to the "Ward Christmas Party" in the basketball court, and bring side dishes for 10. We're looking forward to some family birthday parties, and the summer barbecues with our friends and their children and grandchildren. Soccer team parties, baseball games, picnics, U football and tailgate parties.
Make your own fun. Socialize with real friends. Go out to dinner alone with your spouse. You will not miss Mormon socializing (an oxymoron).