Just being honest. I won't start a family until they are dissolved. Yesterday made me realize that i will never have peace or freedom. I will be tracked forever.
Badassadam1 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > caffiend Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Be well! > > Well i am getting a swallow test done for my > throat pretty soon here, thats being well right?
Damn it the doc could see several abnormalities on the swallow test. F###ck me. Why couldn't i have just been taken out quickly as a kid.
Cheryl Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We need to separate ourselves from toxic > organizations and people because it's usually > impossible to kill them off.
Very impossible it seems but maybe not. Has anyone even tried to get the masses to resign in a huge exodus?
There have been resignation days proclaimed, but nothing can put a dent in the cult ultimately. It's here to stay.
We have to choose our residence, job, activities to avoid mormon incursions. I don't let mormons come to my door and I don't let them phone or send recruitment materials. If I meet a mormon, I don't tell them I used to be one. I taught mormon students and never said a word about it to the kiddies or their parents.
Cheryl Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > There have been resignation days proclaimed, but > nothing can put a dent in the cult ultimately. > It's here to stay. > > We have to choose our residence, job, activities > to avoid mormon incursions. I don't let mormons > come to my door and I don't let them phone or send > recruitment materials. If I meet a mormon, I don't > tell them I used to be one. I taught mormon > students and never said a word about it to the > kiddies or their parents.
I denied being mormon the other day and it felt correct. I am not one of them, i was just born into that hell is all.
Whether you have peace or freedom is up to . . . YOU! Putting your life on hold until the LDS Church dissolves seems extreme.
Have you looked into cognitive distortions? I see a lot of distorted thinking in your posts. If you trained yourself to recognize the distortions and then replace them with more rational thoughts, you'd likely be happier and more at peace.
rubi123 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Whether you have peace or freedom is up to . . . > YOU! Putting your life on hold until the LDS > Church dissolves seems extreme. > > Have you looked into cognitive distortions? I see > a lot of distorted thinking in your posts. If you > trained yourself to recognize the distortions and > then replace them with more rational thoughts, > you'd likely be happier and more at peace. > > But it all starts with you.
For whatever reason i am an extreme thinker but i don't think i was born that way. People have tried to control and monitor me since forever it seems. Can never get the past off of my back when the men in suits try to threaten me. My counselor has pointed out many times that i am an extreme thinker. But the extremes do and have happened i promise.
I've personally given advice to you, Adam, a couple of times regarding learning about distorted thoughts and you just blow off what I say. I don't feel like reaching out to you anymore. Perhaps others on this forum have more patience to help you through. But you have sufficiently exhausted me with your responses.
If you want to do something useful take down the morg that distorts people's minds and forces them to live in fear every day. Forget about the one person that has already been damaged for f#ck sake. It's been over for me for a long time i just want to fix my body before i die because god never could. If a professional trauma counselor can't fix the damage then no one can in my opinion. I just need to vent somewhere in between surgeries and get the morg to track me down, which they will and have already threatened me, i am not dumb enough to think that i am not being monitored by them on here. I want the people that are really running the nazi operation to show themselves and get this cat and mouse game over with. I am tired, i am hurting, and i am old, i don't care about the low level brainwashed followers. I haven't moved location in 3 and half years on purpose, lets just get this sh#t over with. You showed your hand yesterday and i know people here saw it. They monitor the board. I want to face the people that are really running the show, that is all i want. Who's giving the orders in that corporation to monitor people and track them? I want the big shot, no more low level followers coming to my door.
Well f#ck all your gods is what i say. F#ck all your control rituals. F#ck it all, i'll fix my own body even if it takes decades. I will get to my goals.
A lot will happen in the next decade i think. I have finally been flagged and located by the right people in the morg. It's what i wanted, i didn't want to live or pretend like i wasn't being monitored or tracked anymore. The board needs to be cleared in order for me to start a real life that is safe for my future family if i will even have one.
saucie (nli) Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > why not? is there an umbilical cord between you > and the morg? > > If you don't feel free its on you, not the morg. > You're not > > joined at the hip. Who says these things?
They have the umbilical cord, they threatened me on this board yesterday, they track me. They won't leave me the f#ck alone i f#cking resigned about a month ago.
saucie (nli) Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Threatening you is against the law. Do something > about it. > > The only power they have over you is the power YOU > give them. > > They can't do anything to you. Don't be so scared.
Well the thread got erased i think. But it did set me off and put me in defend the house mode.
That is pretty nuts that church security actually posted on one of my threads though on a recovery forum. Those guys don't acknowledge anybody or apologize to anybody i might add. Look at me i am a robot working for church security, hail hydra haha.
Devoted Exmo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I saw that post. It was not real. It was someone > messing with you.
Either way i'm ready for whoever. Not paranoid just know the type of people i am dealing with and have dealt with throughout my life. I hope to live the next fifty years in peace if i can and i don't want to see anyone wearing a suit on this property or try to get near me with their god bullsh#t. I will protect this house and i want that to be very well known to the masses out there don't care who you are. I don't have much but its all i have now. I have ptsd for sure and will make quick and fast judgements if any threatening presence is made against me. Let that be known religious people. I don't want you f#cking near me. And your god can go f#ck himself.
angela Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Adam, > > The LDS church will still exist long after your > dead. > That is reality.
We'll see. There is no church as it is, they just pretend to be a church and that is the biggest insult of all to anyone that gave two sh#ts about god, which i once did. It is not run by mentally strong men as well. Just robots following orders. Their weakness is money and power which can definitely be used against them and can cause in-fighting. Only fear keeps them in line, once the fear fantasy is gone and the money is gone it will fall apart hopefully. It kind of makes sense in my crazy mind. They don't make money from hard labor of their own and they know this. Its all off the back of the followers who they keep in fear. Once most of the followers go, it's over. The religion is in the mind of the brainwashed follower, not in the physical buildings. I just want them to submit and someone report it on here. 'Church goes under' headline.
I see your point of it feeling dead. It does feel more dead to me now than a year ago and i feel a little more alive which is a very strange turn of events. The badass kind of feels his heart coming back? No way, that would be impossible. The badass has felt nothing for decades. What is this 'feelings' thing?