I have an unexpected 30 days of complete freedom, and sufficient funds to do what I really want. My problem is, how best to use this delicious opportunity.

In the past, I'd spend 25% online researching diverse topics, dining at slow brunches on Sunday, walking on natural trails, driving to Wendover for a day of play, feeding ducks at Liberty Park and people-watching at Starbucks.

But I want something new. Have you favorite things to pass the time by, when completely unencumbered with any obligations at all? Places to visit? Original ideas appreciated. My free time begins next Tuesday. 2 days in Las Vegas kick it off. I have wheels, and look forward to a memorable month, well spent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ12Eu68vsg

Go fishing, i thought about getting a fishing pole today and just relaxing by a lake.

Pretty sure i've driven on that road from arizona to utah when i lived in arizona.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
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> Go fishing, i thought about getting a fishing pole
> today and just relaxing by a lake.

I was raised with an absentee LDS father, so never went fishing. No interest at this point. But thanks for the thought...seriously.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iliHHFn4fao

CheapGrace Wrote:
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> Badassadam1 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Go fishing, i thought about getting a fishing
> pole
> > today and just relaxing by a lake.
>
> I was raised with an absentee LDS father, so never
> went fishing. No interest at this point. But
> thanks for the thought...seriously.
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iliHHFn4fao

I had an absentee father as well. I only went fishing a few times with my friends back in the day. Just simple worm on hook fishing. My father taught me nothing about life.

I usually hate road trips, the exception being...

Phoenix to Albuquerque during the day. It’s a gorgeous drive!

ABQ is a great little city, even more so if you’re a Breaking Bad fan (I am!).

ABQ to Phoenix *at night* was breathtaking. There’s very little light pollution and you drive far enough west that you can see the constellations shift as you drive.

I hope to do it again so. It’s high up on my top ten. :)

Stay in Vegas.
See all the shows, enjoy the buffets and get daily massages.

Elyse Wrote:
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> Stay in Vegas.
> See all the shows, enjoy the buffets and get
> daily massages.

like sex and chocolate, Vegas works only a little longer than on the way there and that precious instant.

My two nights there will satiate me. I've discovered the Golden Nugget breakfast. The rotating lunch on The Stratosphere. The Hole-iN-the-Wall lasagna. They have their place, but can't deliver much past a mid-week weekend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q9Z9qUIt50

Forty years ago, I'd say you had the best suggestion, but I have better insight now.

Did you join the military or something ?

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
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> Did you join the military or something ?

hi Dave.

No. Two life events happened on the same day last week. One is too personal to share, the other, a daughter I placed into adoption 34 years ago finally found me after her 24 year search. I have lived well-under the radar. Nobody could find me unless their life depended upon it. The two occurrences so astounded me that I took time off work to collect my thoughts about who I really am.

Recognition happens between the cracks of ennui, usually in the wee hours of the morning, so I'm sure the choice I made to unplug will bear the desired fruit.

Soon, she and I will meet, melt and merge as few souls ever do.

I don't want to be a stranger to myself any longer.

It's time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly_leYhUVrU

Thanks for wondering. It's what binds us all best, obviously.

Good luck on your reunion, from a birth mother.

Hawaii.
Jump on a plane and go.
I would suggest Maui.

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
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> Hawaii.
> Jump on a plane and go.
> I would suggest Maui.

hi kolob,

Hawaii has become as marketed and overbaked as Time Square.

Colorful sardines that walk with cameras isn't my cup o' tea. Been there, done that. If I wanted overpriced bliss, I'd go have lunch at any airport.

But thank you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJK8OTDG6g8

I mean it.

OK.
But...

a) the weather's wonderful
b) it's not all tourist trap
c) buy a book, find a beach...best day ever!

:)

Enjoy your time off, however you spend it!

Visit national parks either all over country or a region.

People disappear every year from our national parks and forests, often under strange circumstances.

Don't go alone and always carry a locator devise and a gun.

Get to know everyone who goes to the local dive bar.

Make sure my lawn is perfectly ready for the summer.

Repair a few things around the house.

Find obscure books to read.

Do something outside of my comfort zone with someone.

Binge watch at least two shows.

Baseball!!! Spring training all over the Phoenix area - sunny, temps in the 70's & 80's, Beer, the smell of fresh cut grass ....

Ya man! The thrill of the grass!

My dream trip, one day, would be to drive across America and watch ball games in cities no one really visits, KC, Cleveland, St. Louis, Pittsburg, Cincinnati, etc.

If you had someone going with you, I'd say drive to Alaska. It is on my bucket list. It has been for years.

My daughter works in Alaska and I've been there 4 times now. I always wanted to go and then she ended up working for Princess Cruises up by Denali (Mt. McKinley). She is up there training bus drivers right now. She left a week ago for 8 months. I love it up there. After you leave Anchorage, it is a whole different environment.

But, again, it all depends on what you enjoy. All of us have our own likes and dislikes. I thought the suggestion of Hawaii was good. When I went there 34 years ago, I hated Oahu, but loved Kauai as there were so few people around, but it may have changed. But I'm also someone who can't take the heat and there was a drought there then. So Alaska is always where I want to go or I've heard that Glacier National Park is GORGEOUS. My ex grew up by Yellowstone and never wanted to go to Glacier because he thought it would be more of the same, but it wasn't.

I did a Route 66 road trip a few years back and I did it the fun way: bought an actual rout trip guide and solely used that (no GPS and no Google Maps) and it was awesome! I only did the Gallup, NM to Amarillo, TX over the course of 4 days but YOU could take the whole route (From Chicago to LA) and REALLY get into it.

It would help to know where you live.

.If in the L.A. Ca. area, the choices are endless: China Town (complete with food, wishing wells, Chinese clothing; "Alvera Street" (a block-long shopping and eating spot, noted for being the 1st street in Los Angeles (across from the train station). It also has an old-style church to look at--not used for usual worship.

. The Beach! Lots of sand, sun, and even a pier with food and other things to buy, or just lay in the sun, or go swimming. (Two airports can get you to the area: L.A., and Burbank.)

. Burbank CA) has several studios you can visit--for free (NBC, Disney Corp. offices, etc.) Just write for tickets, or ask travel agencies.

. Visit Hollywood! (Groman's--sp?-Chinese Theater, etc.)

. Eat at the famous "Bob's Big Boy" restaurant (used to be a drive-through).

. Museums a plenty: One in Pasadena (CA), includes Picasso drawings, and "Whistlers' Mother" (and you can buy replicas there). L.A museums features a full sized elephant about to charge at you, etc.)

.L.A. is even close to the mountains, where there is snow to play in, and you ride on special equipment to get you up the hill.

.Donate time at schools, to help children read, etc.

*.Hit the thrift stores, as you never know what you will find there that will attract your attention (plus great bargains and antiques--the fun is in the hunt). (Also plus lots of good books you didn't even know existed.)

. 'Working a puzzle' (at home) can be entertaining (you can even watch TV at the same time).

-----

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have a good time doing it.

P :)

If you're exploring, and thinking about your past, how about going back to where it all began? Visit the old home, see if anyone you knew is still around... Take a lot of photos...

And I would caution you regarding your upcoming reunion... Shared genetic material is no guarantee of compatibility. Expectations can run high, with no guarantee that they will be met. One hopes, but one has no guarantees.

I would for sure increase the amount of exercise you're doing, and I'd re-read some of the books that you believe had an impact on you when you were growing up.

If I could read your mind, you seem to be thinking "road trip."

Personally, if I were seeking true introspection, I would stay in one place, and walk, instead of drive. Wilderness is a great backdrop for "finding yourself." Think of Thoreau, and the Buddhist monks in monasteries. Because of where you are, and because it is March, you would do best to find a desert or southern retreat. (NOT St. George, because of all the Mormons.) Yellowstone and Glacier and northern sites are cold and stormy until June.

You don't need to fish or have a planned activity. Just sit on a rock, somewhere, and breathe, and think. I highly recommend meditation!

Everyone has personal preferences. I was a California beach girl, in a former life. Here's what I would do.

Head out from Vegas to LA. I loved Polyghink's suggestions. LA is crowded, but it is the off-season. You can go to Newport Beach! My relatives rent a place there every summer. You could rent a beach house, stay in one place, and walk around, and people-watch. At night you will have wifi and your computer.

Or, leave LA, and drive up Highway 1, the Pacific Coast Highway,
see the old Spanish missions along the way, San Juan Capistrano, for one. Don't drive too far in one day. Spend the night in Santa Barbara. Drive to San Simeon and see Hurst Castle.

The drive through Big Sur, along the PCH from San Simeon to Carmel is one of the most--if not THE most beautiful drive in the world! This would be a perfect time of year for this, before the summer crowds and traffic.

I would choose Carmel over Waikiki. There's more variety of things to see and do, and you aren't stuck on an island. Carmel is expensive, so stay in Pacific Grove, just north of Carmel. A leisurely drive along the 17-Mile Drive will inspire you! You might want to rent a bicycle, and bike it. You can find solitude along the 17-Mile drive, away from the crowds of Carmel. If you like people-watching, Carmel is great for that. If you like golf, the courses are fantastic, but expensive. The temperature of the ocean this time of year is a bit too chilly for surfing without a wet-suit, or for sunbathing. Carmel has little shops and art galleries and bakeries, if you like that sort of browsing.

North of Carmel is Monterey, which is a very interesting place, also. I highly recommend the Monterey Bay Aquarium, no matter how much they charge these days! I'm a Steinbeck fan, so Cannery Row has a special place in my heart.

Santa Cruz is the next fun stop, heading north. It has the oldest boardwalk in the US. I used to surf there, and I lived nearby.

You can see giant redwoods in King's Canyon, in Big Sur, or Felton, about 20 minutes inland from Santa Cruz. We like Felton, because there is a "Roaring Camp" steam train ride (real steam) through the redwoods, winding over tall trestles. You can get off the train at the top, and stay there as long as you want, to commune with those Old Giants. There are hiking trails all over, and horses to rent. If you like horses, you can ride on the beach near Half Moon Bay, further North. Half Moon Bay was one of my favorite places, when it used to be a charming beach town, and I could speak Spanish there. It's gotten commercialized, like Carmel, but it's all still nice!

If you are as far north on the PCH, you might want to continue up to San Francisco--and everyone knows what a fun city that is!

A very "Zen" place to visit is Yosemite Park. It is unique. If you find yourself anywhere near there, you must go! You will want to stay overnight there. Rent a bicycle!

All of these places are great for someone traveling alone. It's beautiful and interesting, and you won't be lonely. Even the worst March storm won't deter you from enjoying yourself.

You must return and report to the rest of us, who are stuck in our same old same old grind.

Saturday, the 31st, is the March For The Children in Salt Lake City.

Southern Utah is nice. Anywhere is nice - if you go there - unless it's not.

Enjoy the times

Pretend you're the President. Hookers, porn stars, bankrupt a few casinos, rack up your credit cards and don't pay them off. Then deny it ever happened.

You can see a lot of the West in a month. If LV is the early stop, then continue on to the Pacific, travel up the coast to the Pacific Northwest, or up the east side of the Sierras to Reno, then west to San Francisco and onward to Portland and Seattle. Cut inland through northern Idaho and western Montana then down through Yellowstone and the Tetons. Or see the national parks in UT and AZ (if you haven't already), then through New Mexico and and Colorado (particularly the San Juan Mountains between Durango, Ouray and Telluride). Or you can do what I did back in the '90s -- make a lap of the country.

They let you out on parole for 30 days? That's great.

It costs about 6-700 for flights and tour to Ireland. It costs 600 to go to China, all inclusive. River trip, Germany. Northern lights? 283. All inclusive Cabo adults only 700. You can do the whole British thing or go Bahamas or finish. Look for Groupon or Scott's.

The greatest comfort I know is in my bed, earphones on, tears falling to the pillow...because life is such a treat, thanks to chocolate, music, asparagus, butter, cream cheese, bagels, almonds, remote controls and free, deep sleep ahead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcX0hDEqS4E

How far and by what means do you desire to travel? The west coast is full of fascinating places. The U.S. as a whole, and Canada as well, have even more to offer. Then there's the rest of the world.

Thirty days without obligations sounds delightful.

What you normally do with ["your"] freedom - when you know/ remember/ believe you have it... but maybe more, and better, if that's possible. Go deep, and wide.

I don't know enough about you to recommend anything specific--except for you to clear your mind. Over-thinking things can often confuse you. In my life, clarity has come as a result of de-stressing, and thinking about something else, other than the elusive answers and solutions.

Driving and looking at scenery relaxes me, but driving in traffic does not. Often you have to get through the crowds to reach your destination of solitude. You choose where you want to go.

A few years ago, I had 10 days of freedom, just like you have. I actually did "find myself"!!!

I had a knee injury, and had taken time off of work, and my family went away on a vacation without me, which was ok, and I was happy to have a temporary break from my life. Since I was laid-up, I stayed at home, and took only short drives up into the mountains, to Park City, Midway, Sundance, Kamas, and other places close by. I recommend that you get outdoors every day, even if you just sit on your doorstep.

Exercise every day. Walk in a park, or someplace pretty and interesting. I had to do knee therapy exercises every day.

I let go of all my worries, and my goal was to rest my weary mind, and clear out all the bad memories and PTSD flashbacks. Most of all, I gave myself a break. I didn't demand anything of myself. I had done all the laundry and cleaning ahead of time. I even had cooked and frozen meals, ahead of time. (I don't enjoy cooking). I had never been all alone before, except for once, in my twenties.

It was especially hard to not think of work. I had my own business, and the computer was right next to the bed, so I moved it into another room. It's all about giving yourself PERMISSION to not think, not worry.

Make sure you eat healthy food. Take long showers. Dress nicely, even if you don't see anyone that day.

Is your job stressful? Is it people-oriented? Mine is, so I wanted to be left alone, without people making demands on me all the time. If your job is working mainly alone, you might want to do the opposite, and get out and mingle with people, at events, farmer's markets, museums, zoos and aquariums, parks, movies, etc.

I didn't answer calls. I even forced myself to check my e-mails only every 3 days. I was being shunned by Mormon former-friends, so most of my social contacts were negative. I was never on Facebook. Take a break from that, especially!

The 10 days alone was an experiment with me. What would happen? Would I get depressed? Would I just sleep all day?

The time spent outdoors was the most beneficial of all. Nature soothes the soul. There were no chattering TV commercials, no blabbing talk-radio. My thoughts were my own.

Don't go overboard and torture yourself with "sensory deprivation." Do exactly what you feel like doing. Read, watch TV, rent a movie, go out on a date--whatever it is you WANT. There are no rules! Stand back, and observe what you do.

>>>"In the past, I'd spend 25% online researching diverse topics, dining at slow brunches on Sunday, walking on natural trails, driving to Wendover for a day of play, feeding ducks at Liberty Park and people-watching at Starbucks."<<<

Do as much of this type of thing, as you want!

I'm a very up-tight, control-freak, so I stayed away from making lists and schedules, etc. I did make one list, that was really helpful, and wrote down some of the things I did, and rated each activity from 1 to 10. I needed to understand exactly what brought me joy, and what things I hated, and why.

Meditation helped a lot. All you do is relax and be still, and clear your mind for 30 minutes. Thoughts will come and go, so you just take note of the thought, without any judgments, and let the thought pass through, then clear your mind again.

I know, it doesn't make sense to solve problems and seek answers by NOT thinking about them--but much of life works that way! Especially love...you need to let go, in order to have love come into your life. You will learn that with your daughter: let go, and let her be whoever she has become in her lifetime. Let go of your expectations, and understand, and listen to what she has to say.

You will no longer be a stranger to yourself, if you just relax, and wing-it. Oh--and have fun! :)