this question but i can't find the thread where i asked him now. I just wanted to know if they cut down and humiliate people by design thats all.

Very often, yes -- they do.

Some do it because they're simply narcissistic asshats.
Some do it because they think "shaming" you into behaving the way they want you to behave is effective.
Some do it because they're just nasty human beings.
Some do it because they actually think "the lord" wants them to.

Not all do it, though. There are of course exceptions in mormonism. Those that don't do it, though, aren't encouraged to be that way by mormonism. They're just good people, good enough that even mormonism couldn't take all the good out of them (though it sure tries!).

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Very often, yes -- they do.
>
> Some do it because they're simply narcissistic
> asshats.
> Some do it because they think "shaming" you into
> behaving the way they want you to behave is
> effective.
> Some do it because they're just nasty human
> beings.
> Some do it because they actually think "the lord"
> wants them to.
>
> Not all do it, though. There are of course
> exceptions in mormonism. Those that don't do it,
> though, aren't encouraged to be that way by
> mormonism. They're just good people, good enough
> that even mormonism couldn't take all the good out
> of them (though it sure tries!).

This is enlightening because i never knew for sure if it was all done on purpose or i just happened to be around a select group of leader jackasses growing up. Bad luck of the draw or something. It's very interesting this tactic was done on purpose all across the board. But they all did the shaming and ridiculing to make you do something routine. Looking back at things from a more outside perspective is kind of crazy. We lived through hell on earth and didn't even know it because we had nothing else to compare it to. It was all we knew and still remains in the memory. I like dissecting the past sometimes to try to understand it all i guess.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I like dissecting the past sometimes to
> try to understand it all i guess.

Very useful and healthy, that!
'Cause if you do that, next time you see similar behavior, you understand the motives behind it.
And you can dismiss it for the BS it is, without getting as emotionally involved.
Keep doing it! :)

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Badassadam1 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I like dissecting the past sometimes to
> > try to understand it all i guess.
>
> Very useful and healthy, that!
> 'Cause if you do that, next time you see similar
> behavior, you understand the motives behind it.
> And you can dismiss it for the BS it is, without
> getting as emotionally involved.
> Keep doing it! :)

I definitely see it as very healthy because it helps to figure out just what the hell they did to my mind.

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Very often, yes -- they do.
>
> Some do it because they're simply narcissistic
> asshats.
> Some do it because they think "shaming" you into
> behaving the way they want you to behave is
> effective.
> Some do it because they're just nasty human
> beings.
> Some do it because they actually think "the lord"
> wants them to.
>
> Not all do it, though. There are of course
> exceptions in mormonism. Those that don't do it,
> though, aren't encouraged to be that way by
> mormonism. They're just good people, good enough
> that even mormonism couldn't take all the good out
> of them (though it sure tries!).

Oh Lordy, the shaming to do or act is EXACTLY what my mother does and still does. She did it to me last freaking week!

Basically, I didn't know about my nephew's baby blessing and my mom wanted me to cancel all my plans with my girlfriend (I freaking love this girl). When I told her I was busy she gave me the "but your brother and SIL will be disappointed. I know there are those, like you, who have different beliefs but it would mean a lot to them."

I never replied or went last week on that Sunday. I was too tired from work anyway. I have been playing her game for 20+ years. I am done playing it.

As I see it, LDS is bad religion. Bad religion exacerbates the badness in people. I'm cynical enough to think that good Mormons are good in spite of, not because of, their religion.

It might help to think of LDS as a mutation of Christianity, which makes LDS a religious-cultural aberration. The groups that have mutated off of LDS (FDLS, Kingston Clan, Mitchell) are worse than aberrations, they're monsters.

caffiend Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As I see it, LDS is bad religion. Bad religion
> exacerbates the badness in people. I'm cynical
> enough to think that good Mormons are good in
> spite of, not because of, their religion.
>
> It might help to think of LDS as a mutation of
> Christianity, which makes LDS a religious-cultural
> aberration. The groups that have mutated off of
> LDS (FDLS, Kingston Clan, Mitchell) are worse than
> aberrations, they're monsters.

I like that perspective of a mutation of christianity. I just see it as a weird handshake cult that puts christ's name on the building nowadays. And i did feel like a worse and bad human being when i was in religion. It brought the worst out of my mind.

Of course. That's how psychopaths and sociopaths operates. Bullying, threatening, hitting, shoving, teasing, humiliating and slandering--all these techniques were used against me, and against my children.

This is just the modus operandi, the standard operating procedure of Mormons to control members and force them to obey.

--Especially used on children and women, gays, converts, inactives, intellectuals, the poor, converts, rebellious people, and even male members who were weaker and didn't have the good ol'boys looking out for them.

I'm talking about how Mormons treat their own members!

The only reason they are leaving me and my children alone, is that I threatened a lawsuit, and threatened to publicize what I know about the family of an important GA. I had waited 7 months, for a church response to my resignation letter, and after I threatened the lawsuit, I got my "confirmation" letter, 3 days later.

I also filed a police restraining order out against two of the adult priesthood leaders who broke into my house and tried to drag my sons away to a Deacons meeting--by kicking them, hitting them, shoving them, screaming at them, threatening them. These men beat their own children---I mean, they drew blood--and they bragged about it. Both men were promoted to Mission President, Temple President, and our crook bishop was promoted to Stake President and Seventies. Just working their way up the latter-day ladder, as Mormon "leaders."

They acted like this behavior was NORMAL. It was just the way the Mormons treated children. My husband who beat me, thought he had the GOD-GIVEN RIGHT as outlined in the D & C Section 135, to do anything he wanted to do to me, as I was his eternal wife and his possession. His father had beaten him and his mother.

Mother Who Knows Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Of course. That's how psychopaths and sociopaths
> operates. Bullying, threatening, hitting,
> shoving, teasing, humiliating and slandering--all
> these techniques were used against me, and against
> my children.
>
> This is just the modus operandi, the standard
> operating procedure of Mormons to control members
> and force them to obey.
>
> --Especially used on children and women, gays,
> converts, inactives, intellectuals, the poor,
> converts, rebellious people, and even male members
> who were weaker and didn't have the good ol'boys
> looking out for them.
>
> I'm talking about how Mormons treat their own
> members!
>
> The only reason they are leaving me and my
> children alone, is that I threatened a lawsuit,
> and threatened to publicize what I know about the
> family of an important GA. I had waited 7 months,
> for a church response to my resignation letter,
> and after I threatened the lawsuit, I got my
> "confirmation" letter, 3 days later.
>
> I also filed a police restraining order out
> against two of the adult priesthood leaders who
> broke into my house and tried to drag my sons away
> to a Deacons meeting--by kicking them, hitting
> them, shoving them, screaming at them, threatening
> them. These men beat their own children---I mean,
> they drew blood--and they bragged about it. Both
> men were promoted to Mission President, Temple
> President, and our crook bishop was promoted to
> Stake President and Seventies. Just working their
> way up the latter-day ladder, as Mormon
> "leaders."
>
> They acted like this behavior was NORMAL. It was
> just the way the Mormons treated children. My
> husband who beat me, thought he had the GOD-GIVEN
> RIGHT as outlined in the D & C Section 135, to do
> anything he wanted to do to me, as I was his
> eternal wife and his possession. His father had
> beaten him and his mother.

I know all too well how they treat children and men that are not a part of their good ol' boy system. I thought all kids across the world were raised like this. Toughen us up for jesus or some sh#t. It was all a d@mn lie the entire time with no good god in sight to defend anybody. I may have suffered for no d@mn reason. It's hard to not want revenge when i think about it. I don't want to end up an abuser because it is all i know.

Mother Who Knows Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Of course. That's how psychopaths and sociopaths
> operates. Bullying, threatening, hitting,
> shoving, teasing, humiliating and slandering--all
> these techniques were used against me, and against
> my children.
>
> This is just the modus operandi, the standard
> operating procedure of Mormons to control members
> and force them to obey.
>
> --Especially used on children and women, gays,
> converts, inactives, intellectuals, the poor,
> converts, rebellious people, and even male members
> who were weaker and didn't have the good ol'boys
> looking out for them.
>
> I'm talking about how Mormons treat their own
> members!
>
> The only reason they are leaving me and my
> children alone, is that I threatened a lawsuit,
> and threatened to publicize what I know about the
> family of an important GA. I had waited 7 months,
> for a church response to my resignation letter,
> and after I threatened the lawsuit, I got my
> "confirmation" letter, 3 days later.
>
> I also filed a police restraining order out
> against two of the adult priesthood leaders who
> broke into my house and tried to drag my sons away
> to a Deacons meeting--by kicking them, hitting
> them, shoving them, screaming at them, threatening
> them. These men beat their own children---I mean,
> they drew blood--and they bragged about it. Both
> men were promoted to Mission President, Temple
> President, and our crook bishop was promoted to
> Stake President and Seventies. Just working their
> way up the latter-day ladder, as Mormon
> "leaders."
>
> They acted like this behavior was NORMAL. It was
> just the way the Mormons treated children. My
> husband who beat me, thought he had the GOD-GIVEN
> RIGHT as outlined in the D & C Section 135, to do
> anything he wanted to do to me, as I was his
> eternal wife and his possession. His father had
> beaten him and his mother.

I never got a confirmation letter on my resignation yet and i sent it in the beginning of february. Should i be concerned?

HPGL in my old ward was in love with himself and would belittle and chastise anyone who didn't follow his agenda.

A friend and I were sharing my phone during priesthood meeting that he was teaching to look at manual online. Had a funny text - cant remember what but we giggled a bit. This asshole seen us and screamed maybe we should be teaching the class if find his lesson so funny, shouldn't be laughing during church this is serious, if want to laugh go somewhere else blah blah blah.

We left the lesson and sat in hall, what a dick. Never apologised.

Of course they believe in belittling people. They even have scriptural justification for it.

These scriptures came up all the time when a leader was happily berating a person. He wouldn't call it belittling or berating, but 'reproving with sharpness'. They all failed mightily at the showing forth an increase of love afterwards of course, but they were very good at the reproving part.


D&C 121

40 Hence many are called, but few are chosen.

41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—

43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

The current profit, gave a talk about being "Judges of Israel" after he was called to the position of asspostle. He clearly outlines the need to rebuke the wicked and judge the saints.

I had some good leaders with good intentions of helping people. However, I had many that seemed to go to extreme lengths to act like righteous assholes.

messygoop Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The current profit, gave a talk about being
> "Judges of Israel" after he was called to the
> position of asspostle. He clearly outlines the
> need to rebuke the wicked and judge the saints.
>
> I had some good leaders with good intentions of
> helping people. However, I had many that seemed to
> go to extreme lengths to act like righteous
> assholes.

Those asspostles are the least righteous people on the f#cking planet. They shouldn't rebuke a d@mn soul.

Howdy Badass, I just logged on and saw this. Excellent wisdom posted here. I will add, it doesn’t matter if it’s intentional, or not, belittling people is wrong—especially in the context of religion.

But, YOU BADASS, can only be belittled now if you allow yourself to be belittled, and you’re not going to let that happen! Nope, you’re going to say to the belittler, “Stop thinking and saying you’re morally superior to me. I don’t like it, and it reflects poorly in on you!”

You don’t even need to cuss. Save the bad language for your friends like me! There’s no need to waste bad vulgar language on those not worthy of it! Hugs, Bro! The little Boner.

I am a little harder to push around these days little boner and i'm not just saying that. The god card and the nice suits don't work on me like they used to. My next door neighbor is quite impressed with how far i have come in the last two years. The combination of everything i am doing is working i think. Therapy, surgeries, rfm, acupuncture and playing cards with real people is a powerful combo. The becoming strong-minded badass signing out to the big boner.

In just the last few months, you have become so much stronger, standing up taller against all the garbage you have lived with, all your life!

I have related that I dearly loved the ward where I was first baptized, in the Deep South. In an environment awash with Catholics and Baptists, the Mormons were indeed like a very close family. Everybody knew everybody else's business, but not in a nosy way. We CARED about each other.

I remember getting a call from the RS Prez, very late on a Friday night (I was single back then) asking if I could go over to the local hospital to spend the night with elderly Sister So and So, who was having a rough time of it, and just needed company. I said "Sure, no problem." I put out a huge turkey-roasting sized pan with dry food for my kitties, and several large bowls of water for them, and drove to the hospital, which wasn't far away.

I didn't know the lady very well, but that was a very enriching night. She told me some of the most marvelous stories, about having been Mormon in a small, rural community (Montana or someplace) back in the late 40s or early 50s, when her daughter had been a baby. (I knew the daughter, and had thought she was a snooty witch, although she was much nicer to me after I helped her mom.) Yeah, I lost some sleep, but oh, my - those stories were priceless!

I have already distracted myself. The main story I was going to share was that I ran into a guy in my first ward - the NICE one - who acted like so many of the arrogant p-hood holders that we have all known and come to dislike.

I don't even remember what he said that pi$$ed me off. It was the way he said it. I interrupted him and asked, "Do you even realize how condescending you sounded, just then? I'm SURE you didn't MEAN to come across that way, because I know you are a nice guy, but. . ." Yada, yada. He looked like he had been kicked in the cojones. On the positive side, he never, ever, behaved like that with me again. I always made sure to greet him in a pleasant, positive way (never as "Brother" or "elder" - I never did that, except with missionaries) and our interactions were invariably pleasant.

Sometimes, you have to call them on their behavior, along with reassuring them that you are SURE they didn't mean to come across that way. This strategy has worked more than once for me, both in and outside of the church.

Behaving submissively around people like that will almost always bring out the nasty side of their personality.

Yes just being submissive just does not work. I defend myself more in conversations now. I was submissive and did what i was told for so d@mn long it was insane, completely ignoring my health for the sake of family and religion. Well f#ck the family is what i say and religion and god, at least until i am a completely healthy person again which might be never. No one did sh#t for 30 years so i got to go a different direction for the next 50, very far away from family and religion and that is key. Anyways, i have to get my esophagus stretched this week because it is too narrow and is causing me quite a bit of pain and maybe i can start working, delivering pizzas or something. Glad i could make you proud but i still have a ways to go i feel to get where i want to be but i have made big jumps in the last couple months for sure without realizing it.

On purpose? I think most times not. But when you are white (most are) have a penis and the priesthood in a patriarchal religion it's natural to belittle because they "know better". They receive revelation for you because who would know better than them?

wow, you are speaking as if belittlement ....guilt, shaming and abusive manipulation is an ingrained aspect of MORmONISM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuN_ZDJKkPo

smirkorama Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> wow, you are speaking as if belittlement
> ....guilt, shaming and abusive manipulation is an
> ingrained aspect of MORmONISM
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuN_ZDJKkPo

Jesus, where there you go. The main leader cutting everyone down on film. That sh#t sticks in the minds of the listeners i promise you that.

I remember thinking, "How disrespectful can you be?" Those youngsters are giving TWO YEARS of their lives to his church, and all the old Hinkster can do is INSULT them???

I was very much offended by his attitude, and I was shocked to learn that other Mormons didn't seem to give it a second thought.

catnip Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I remember thinking, "How disrespectful can you
> be?" Those youngsters are giving TWO YEARS of
> their lives to his church, and all the old
> Hinkster can do is INSULT them???
>
> I was very much offended by his attitude, and I
> was shocked to learn that other Mormons didn't
> seem to give it a second thought.

Mormonism in a nutshell in that video. Give all you have and you still get treated like sh#t and end up broke both mentally and financially and physically. And your money goes to the old guys that cut you down and abuse you.

I learned the hard way that it just is NOT possible to satisfy MORmON leaders or to make them happy. I finally figured out that I have much better things to do ...like making fun of MORmON leaders who thought it was so "wonderful" to be such ASSpostHOLES to others.

smirkorama Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I learned the hard way that it just is NOT
> possible to satisfy MORmON leaders or to make them
> happy. I finally figured out that I have much
> better things to do ...like making fun of MORmON
> leaders who thought it was so "wonderful" to be
> such ASSpostHOLES to others.

Nothing would have ever been enough for those b@stards. Even if i was jesus suffering on a cross. And this helps me move on from all religion even though all my scars remain.

Yes. It's engrained. They feel small, so generally treat others this way, as they want to be treated.

They don't feel large and so have difficulty treating others this way.

It's confusion. They may never find their way out.

readwrite-LO Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes. It's engrained. They feel small, so generally
> treat others this way, as they want to be
> treated.
>
> They don't feel large and so have difficulty
> treating others this way.
>
> It's confusion. They may never find their way out.

Confusion is a good word for the state of minds they are all in.

"Confusion" ? What Confusion ? !!!!!!!! ???????

The word and message of THE MORmON PRofit is always very clear and straightforward .....because THE PRofit speaks for Lord Jesus Christ in making demands on us ...... I know that because THE spirit and THE PRofit has told me so ..... you guys keeps speaking of MORmONISM as if it was some kind of mind screw job .....and I just can not see it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5eqps2O7s8

....... because I am faith FOOL I will go and do the things that the Lord has commanded ....... because I have been goaded into it https://youtu.be/CPawpzzuNwE after all, THE (MORmON) Church is entitled to WHATEVER it demands of us because we agreed to that arrangement in the temple and before we were born in the pre mortal existence. When THE PRofit starts up with his emphatic creepy hand gesture, that is his signal that losers had better start listening !!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZd_fakYA9g you guys need to start listening to THE MORmON PRofit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K88-oo4VZXg

The LDS church teaches its member to label people as either "worthy" or "unworthy." Even the most generous, kind, loving, selfless person can be considered "unworthy" in Mormonism.

I guess it could be argued that Mormons belittle only because they have been taught by the church to do it. But I like to think that belittling others still feels wrong even if you've been taught to do so. For example, none of my extended family is LDS. When I married, I left my non-LDS grandmothers to sit in the foyer of the temple while I got married. I did it even though it felt wrong. It must have been a sad a humiliating experience for them to be excluded in that way.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/30/2018 02:56PM by want2bx.

want2bx Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The LDS church teaches its member to label people
> as either "worthy" or "unworthy." Even the most
> generous, kind, loving, selfless person can be
> considered "unworthy" in Mormonism.
>
> I guess it could be argued that Mormons belittle
> only because they have been taught by the church
> to do it. But I like to think that belittling
> others still feels wrong even if you've been
> taught to do so. For example, none of my extended
> family is LDS. When I married, I left my non-LDS
> grandmothers to sit in the foyer of the temple
> while I got married. I did it even though it felt
> wrong. It must have been a sad a humiliating
> experience for them to be excluded in that way.

It is hard to explain to someone what it's like to wait on the outside of a temple during a wedding. There is nothing more dehumanizing or humiliating in my opinion. Like you are are less than the animals type of feeling. It dehumanizes you big time. Not even god wants you in his building. Well f#ck him for never standing up for me.