We had advice from our temple officiator before he sealed us in the temple. One thing he said was to always kneel at your bedside together and say your prayers together, and then say an individual prayer in silence.

So here we are, newlyweds, kneeling across the bed from each other, wearing temple garments, closing our eyes, arms folded in Mormon prayer style, speaking to an invisible man. Then we said amen and quietly said our individual prayers in silence. I tried to time mine to be the same as my wife's prayer, then we would hop into bed. If that visual isn't enough to believe you were in a cult then I don't know what is.

It has been many years since that happened, even today my tbm wife has never said prayers in my view, I doubt she ever does. What a messed up thing to make newly married couples do. It kills any romantic ideas, and any image of underwear to the knee and masonic marks on them while kneeling beside your bed is nauseating.

Did anyone else receive advice from an old man on what to do before bedtime?

That guy should have stayed home watching soaps that day. It would have helped at least one marriage.

When first married My tbm wife insisted we pray aloud so we could each get that warm fuzzy feeling.
I tried it for a while but when she started asking HF "out loud" to bless me more that I would be active, honor my phood and pay tithing etc. etc. I quit the whole sham. I'd crawl in bed and no shit she would pray for 20- 30 minutes silent. I'd ask.. " hate to interrupt but you ok"?
One time after praying I asked her to straighten the picture of the big 15 presidency that hovered at the end wall of our bed.
Try making love with that staring at you.
We are divorced .. it was a good family I do blame the church 100% for ruining our family. There were no issues just LDS issues.

nofuzzyfeeling,

when you divorced did you have kids? How long into marriage did you leave the church?

buffalo

I think an equally stupid piece of advice is to never go to bed angry at each other.

Because the best advice ever is to endlessly rehash why I didn't fold the laundry.

When my TBM brother told me he and his wife prayed before sex I was just like........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

WTF!?

Dear Heavenly Father, please let me cum this time, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

"Dear Heavenly Father, if it's true, as my non-member friend told me, that it's supposed to last more than 20 seconds--please, please let me experience that! Inthenameofjesuschristamen!"

I don't pray for this reason. Prayer in itself is cult mind control to oppress you. Sorry religious people but that is my opinion. It's to control your mind continuously and make you never forget that you are god's bitch and at his mercy.

I don't even remember what the temple geezer rambled on about. And that's what I was thinking when I walked outside of the temple as a newlywed. Sad, but true.

If the church was smart (and thy're obviously not), they would allow each person to write a customized pledge (pre-written, pre-approved) that the temple geezer would read. And then you would have some personalized meaning to a church ordinance that has little sentimental value.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/11/2018 04:38PM by messygoop.

My TBM wife was into praying as a couple. I agreed to try it since we had been taught to pray together in the temple and at other Church events.

My wife believes the purpose of couples prayer was to lecture her husband (me) to repent. This would be her typical prayer, "Please, God, soften my husband's heart so that he will do xxxxx."

Finally, after another of these sessions, I said, "F___ you" (instead of "Amen.") My wife was shocked. I was brought into the Bishop. The Bishop says, "Sister Idleswell, that prayer was not appropriate." We left his office. My wife says, "The Bishop doesn't understand the purpose of couples prayer."

I ended couples prayer. I would occasionally be called into explain myself. My standard response would be, "I don't want to pray as a couple." Every bishop said that was my individual right. My wife would burn about it.

I also refused to administer blessings to my wife after she hit me during a blessing. I wasn't giving her the blessing she asked for.

The Church did not help our marriage because it raised tensions within our home while producing few benefits. My temple married wife is now my ex-wife.

Is praying before sex the same as praying for sex? The naive Boner.

Danr--"Nauseating" is a good word to describe couples prayer! I never went on a second date with one of those guys.

Several dates at BYU would make me pray with them, before we went out. The prayers were along the lines of thanking God that we were so blessed to be BYU students, that we had the privilege of going to the dance or movie or whatever, that we would drive safely--and that we would be moral! AS IF I would have been tempted, in the first place!

I would wonder if my date was afraid I would attack him, because he thought he was too irresistible to women. Maybe, these guys were afraid of women. I was too busy running away, to think about it too much.

You good people were very patient to put up with prayers asking God to change you! Your marriages were doomed from the start. This is just another example of how most Mormon members don't believe in unconditional love. IMO, one should not attempt to change one's spouse.

I wish you all love in the future!