https://www.ksl.com/?sid=46297340&nid=148&title=purported-cult-leader-still-wants-to-withdraw-guilty-plea

He claims he's in his right mind now that he's on anti-psychotics but mentions he had a 'revelation' in the same letter...

What I find ridiculous is that he didn't think he was crazy when he was #$@%'ing my 8-year-old niece or giving her alcohol or any number of other atrocities. It's VERY convenient that he's playing the cray-cray card now that the reality of being someone's prison #$@% for the next 26 years (minimum) has finally sunk in.

But, then again, he's got nearly 190 years of pathological lying from his Mormon upbringing ingrained in him. Is it possible, at this point, to plead insanity by way of Mormon upbringing?

Over a decade out of the cult you would think I've made peace with all of this but having this hit so close to home has REALLY triggered me in ways I didn't think it would. I have a profound respect for the people that work tirelessly in the criminal justice system - especially the prosecutors that are working on this (and my brother in law - Shaffer's co-conspirator's) case to try and get them put away for as long as possible BUT I've never wanted to just end people with my bare hands more than I want to end these two.

I need to get my serenity back!

"I feel like he twisted my arm because he was worried I would not do it," the letter states."

Well, now he knows a teensy weensy bit about force. Hopefully he can learn more what it is like to be forced against his will.

My sincerest condolences, enigma, for your niece. I am so sorry she had to suffer like that. I hope she is finding healing in all ways.

Thank you - sometimes it's shocking to me how primal I feel toward these two individuals - I'm definitely in touch with my lizard brain!

I thought it was horrible as it was without "knowing" someone who is close to this situation.

Whatever time he does do will never be enough.

Thank you so much. I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy - it's visceral - and I'm not even the victim. The two or three times that I've had a chance to talk to the kids' mother, I've just bawled like a baby - thinking about it too much puts me in a place that's REALLY not good to me so I have to force myself to snap out of it.

I'm just trying to focus on doing whatever I can for the family.