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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 02:44PM

I run into getting bad advice on how to survive Mormonism all the time and not just from Non-Mormons but I've heard terrible advice from Mormons to the Mormons I love.

My kids think the "Tattooed Mormon" woman is just the coolest Mormon on the planet. But I've asked them if they would get tattoos and got a resounding, "NO!"

So here is some advice that I laughed out loud reading.

Cover up the tattoos or at least try a compromise, like getting a tattoo of a beehive, a Mormon symbol of working together for the common good."

And it made me think of tattoo things I've read here on this board. These were all shared as funny and not real advice. Here are a few.

Get the sacred symbols tattooed on you so you don't have to wear garments.

Tattoo all the prophets up to the current prophet on your back.

Work Moroni into a tattoo somehow.

Tattoo the temple you were married in with your spouse's name and date.

CTR on your finger or elsewhere.


Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/16/2018 02:47PM by Elder Berry.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 02:55PM

My tattoo advice:

Don't get any.

I don't think it's my mormon upbringing swaying my opinion on that...I just think they're butt-ugly. If other people want 'em, fine. I don't. :)

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 02:57PM

I think some tattoos look cool on other people. Not me.

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Posted by: StillAnon ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 04:47PM

About 12 years ago my friend's daughter told him she was going to get a tattoo. She was attending ASU. He flew to Phoenix to talk to her. He pulled out a Yellow Pages (remember those?) and turned to about 7 pages of ads for tattoo parlors. Then, he turned to Tattoo removal places, about 5 pages. He explained that many people regret getting tattoos and it costs about 10 times as much and takes 5 times more than getting a tattoo. Wonder why so many people go through the expense and time? The kid thought about it and decided against it. Smart kid. Smart Dad.

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 05:39PM

Oh my, i actually disagree with Hie on this. I really want a tat! Seriously, what i want is the experience of choosing a design (I have one in mind) and feeling the buzz of the pen, the slight stinging, and just feeling like a slighty bad boy as i strip off my shirt.

Hie, how about if we do coffee cups or the angel Moroni drinking out of a beer-bong on our arms? Im sure Mrs. kolob would find it sexy on her man (even if Mrs. Boner gasps).

Come on, Bro, lighten up a little!

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 07:46PM

I'll do a "henna" temporary one, and pretend to be a "bad boy" for a few hours.
Will that do? :)

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 08:46PM

Sure, because you ARE a bad boy; I’m jealous!

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 09:28PM

The human body is a crappy canvas for drawing pictures. I think about 95% of the tattoos I’ve seen are butt ugly. The other 5% are....meh.

It’s also important to remember that (unlike the eternal gospel) tattoos are forever.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 04:31PM

Since you asked:

-Mr. Clean

It looks like any member of the first presidency.

-Toilet Brush

Shows your dedication to church service.

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Posted by: captainklutz ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 04:32PM

Tattoo "artists" should be legally required to show potential customers photos of tats that are 20-40 years old.

I have zero use for ink, other than the "Property Of <CaptainKlutz>" that I'd like my wife to have put on her lower right cheek. (For the record, I'm kidding about this particular tattoo and my wife has refused to do it in any case)

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 04:55PM

captainklutz Wrote:
> I have zero use for ink, other than the "Property
> Of " that I'd like my wife to have put on her
> lower right cheek.

I think the upper cheek area is a good place. Motivation to keep the buns tight. You can do that remarkable well even as you age.

The problem is people get tattoos where sagging is most likely even with exercise.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 06:45PM

It runs down the inside of my left arm, so it isn't terribly conspicuous. It says, in "UCLA blue," "cantano per la gioia." (They sing for joy.)

It refers to the church bells in Venice, Italy. I happened to be there on a Sunday, at noon, when Mass got out. All of a sudden, there were church bells ringing from every direction, including a huge one whose tolling was so deep that you could feel it through your feet. The mingling sounds were stunningly beautiful.

A little old Italian guy was looking at me with a knowing look, as if saying, "I get what you are feeling, lady." In my very limited Italian, I stammered out, "The bells here - they don't ring, they SING!" He smiled widely, and said, "Si, signora - cantano per la gioia." Beautiful words in an exquisite moment.

Every time I look at those words on my arm, I feel an echo of the joy I felt on that beautiful day in 2006.

Yeah, the skin on my old arm is getting saggy and wrinkly, but the sentiment isn't, so I can't imagine that I will ever regret that tattoo.

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Posted by: dinosaurprincess ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 11:05PM

Well that's now on my bucket list!! Thank you for sharing that! My dad always told me that a tattoo should be spiritually/personally significant. He has a few badass pagan ones. If I ever got one it would be the same one my favorite video game character has. I realized as I was playing the game that it was a subtle metaphor for leaving religion and that is exactly what happened to me a couple years later.

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 07:13PM

From the article:
“There is nothing inherently wrong about long hair or beards, any more than there is anything inherently wrong with possessing an empty liquor bottle. But a person with a beard or an empty liquor bottle is susceptible of being misunderstood.”

This was apparently said by Oaks many years ago.
What?!? What is the implication of men with beards? I get the empty liquor bottle analogy, but wtf does he mean about the beard?

I'm sick of Mormons trying to be 'cool'. It's just so odd to me. If they are coming up with ways of trying to 'get around the rules', than what is the point of the rules anyway??

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 08:49PM

So, if I possess a tat, a pierce, a beard, AND an empty liquor bottle what does that make me? I typical guy who likes ink, an earing, facial hair, and an occaisonal cocktail. It doesnt maje me a low-life, drunk, or person of questionable morals.....well maybe my RfM nane implies loose morals, but that’s another post.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: April 17, 2018 03:22PM

BYU Boner Wrote:
> It doesnt make me a
> low-life, drunk, or person of questionable
> morals...

I should note that my personal dislike of tattoos does not imply that I think people who get them are low-lifes, drunks, or of questionable morals. Unlike mormons, I won't generalize like that.

>...well maybe my RfM nane implies loose
> morals, but that’s another post.

Oh, not at all!
It implies high doses of Viagra (at your age), but that's about all!


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Posted by: happyepiscopalian ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 07:35PM

in SLC was owned by a guy whose wife had the Salt Lake Temple tattooed on her back.

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Posted by: bluebutterfly ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 07:43PM

Seriously?! Ick!

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 09:45PM

I'm kind of a chicken at heart. I didn't get pierced ears until I was over 20 out of fear. I got them when I was dating my nonmormon boyfriend who is my boyfriend now. He doesn't like tattoos as he is now Jewish. I'd probably get a purple iris or a peony as those were my mom's and grandfather's favorite flowers, or I'd get the names of my dogs.

I've always liked bad boys, but looking at me all my life, you'd never know it. I was as devout as they come, but I always was the family member who went out with family members to smoke or I'd go buy their cigarettes if they needed me to (not when they were illegal). I was always meant to be with people who weren't members of the lds church. I have always felt more comfortable with them.

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Posted by: mormon nomore ( )
Date: May 13, 2018 06:44PM

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Posted by: Free Man ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 10:05PM

Don't know all the motivations for tattoos, but if it is to prove coolness, I always thought it wasn't cool to follow the crowd. Maybe try being your own person.

If you get them to be a rebel, it actually shows you're actions are controlled by those against whom you are rebelling. Ironic.

And like it or not, people do judge. In the business world, there will be fewer opportunities for those with major tattoos, ear plugs, lip rings, etc, etc.

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: April 16, 2018 10:50PM

Man, what a bunch Square Cats (sorry, I’m reading Jack Kerouac).

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Posted by: Afraid of the Boogie Brethren ( )
Date: April 17, 2018 12:34AM

I got my first tattoo at 57! I have three now and they honor my dad, mom and husband and kids! My Dad's is a bluebird on my shoulder (because he always sang zippeedeedoodah), Mom's is a plumeria that I got in Maui, celebrating our 10th. The left arm is a heart with various hearts and forget-me-nots for the children I miscarried. So, tattoos can be a great way to affirm your love for people. I actually felt empowered getting them!

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Posted by: ANON 3 ( )
Date: April 17, 2018 11:27AM

No tats. I haven't gone to Italy to get a 3d one. Probably on my foot or hand or another nonsaggy place.

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: April 17, 2018 07:49PM

Elder Berry Wrote:

> My kids think the "Tattooed Mormon" woman is just
> the coolest Mormon on the planet.

WOW !!! So do I !!!! ....SO SHOULD EVERYONE !!!! ...I do not know what I just said that !!!!

> But I've asked
> them if they would get tattoos and got a
> resounding, "NO!"

Gordon Hinckley and LD$ Inc executive leaders (MORmON ASSpostHOLES) have spoken against the negative effects of tattoos, (after all, even broken clocks are correct two times a day)

They are especially against young woman getting tattoos, ....and you know how MORmON leaders are when they take a stand on something -TOTALLY UN WAVERING!!!!!!!

........well, unless the young woman with tattoos happens to be fairly attractive and really chatty..... in an alluring .......goofy .....enticing ....loose ......easy ......trampy ........bawdy ....provocative .........slutty .....vulnerable way while she tells humorous entertaining personal stories so much in the same manner and fashion that Paul Dunn did, that turns out to be a big time PR draw for LD$ inc and MORmONISM, especially if it seems that Joseph Smith would likely have had an interest in and sympathy for the young woman !!! You know!!! -The kind of guiding, nurturing, protective, loving interest that Joseph Smith had for other vulnerable young women. The kind of guiding, nurturing, protective, *loving* interest that would have the young woman moving into brother's Joseph's own home.

If all of that checks off and falls in line, Then THE (ultra desperate, rapidly shrinking) (MORmON) Church and the LD$ inc Media Arm can find a way to embrace a tatted up trollip to do a highly massaged, very dolled up, big time PR Video News piece on the tatted up Chicky!!!!!! (WHO JUST HAPPENS TO ALSO BE A MORmON Convert !!!!) to make their self absorbed attention ADDICTED/ attention grabbing trollip into an official LD$ inc PR focus of attention for a while, to extract all the possible PR mileage from the quirky situation as long as that quirky situation has any interest at all to MORmON members and/ or to the public at large!!!
********************************************************* ******************************************************** ******************************************************** ************************ **************************** ************************* ***************************** ****************************** ***************************

Even while I was composing this post, IMAGE OBSESSED LDS Inc PR made moves to have the video in the above posted link pulled down from Youtube !!!!!!

WHY was LD$ Inc PR so upset AND What was ( the super threatening to MORmONISM content) in that video ???? -It was STRICTLY PURELY ONLY an excerpt from the following PRO MORmON (Propaganda) video that was simply edited down to a (smaller/ shorter) portion to exclusively feature AL Fox the tattooed MORmON by eliminating the Michelle King intro to the AL Fox central feature video piece and by eliminating the Michelle King follow up commentary after the Al Fox central Video piece feature.

REMEMBER!!! that makes the excerpted content essentially PRO MORmON in its ORIGINALLY INTENDED, MERELY EXCERPTED OTHER WISE UNALTERED FORM !!!!! ....unless there was something really questionable in the video all along just as LDS Inc PR originally produced and presented their Pro MORmON propaganda video piece.

Subsequent attempts to re post the Al Fox PRO MORmON video excerpt were also blocked!!! That means that LD$ inc is found in a position where they are blocking wider distribution / wider publicizing of their own content that was created with the intention of it being displayed and publicized to the fullest extent possible !

How comical /ironic when LDS Inc PR finds themselves attempting to block added exposure of the video content that they originally created with the intent of publicizing to the fullest extent possible !!!!!

Due to LD$ inc PR action to block additional posting of their own content that they otherwise openly provided and intended to promote and publicize as much as possible, it becomes necessary to fall back on LD$ Inc's own original posting of their video content in order to demonstrate and display the point that trampy bawdy Al Fox gets special exceptional treatment as LD$ inc PR's designate darling provocative FLOOZY and TROLLIP who was being paraded around in sordid fashion to get as much attention as possible ...... !!! even IF LD$ inc/ THE (MORmON) church does not want to admit THE obvious !!!!

Which is really more embarrassing; watching Al Fox start up with her ditzy wannabe lovable tattooed MORmON tramp routine OR watching Over the hill MORmON media darling Michelle King attempt to fawn over Al Fox while Michelle tries to pretend that the Al Fox story actually has some kind of veritable merit ???????

Just waiting for LDS Inc PR to block their own posting of their own content in its completely original, completely unaltered form that content ends up being (too) detrimental to their MORmON PR cause !!!!

What a proud moment that will have to be for the (conflicted) fecal heads at LD$ inc PR !!!!


you have to admit!!!!! -Al Fox's conversion story is actually a very close match for THE *faith* based way that Hinckley has outlined and prescribed for the MORmON conversion process !!!!

The following video should emphasize the point that MORmON conversion is a CREEPY manipulative process ......some much like Gordon BS HinckLIEy is CREEPY Manipulative person!!! I sure hope that this video does not upset LD$ Inc PR !!!!

I especially like the part @3:48 where AL Fox is having some kind of strange argument/ conflict / fight with herself (or between her multiple personalities) as she yells at the (her) missionaries over the phone in the middle of the night that she wants to be baptized, but another part of her did not see that coming and then wonders what the Hell she just did !!!! .....but due to Hinckley style *faith*, AL Fox goes through with her MORmON baptism anyway !!!! Truly FaithFOOL !!!!

NOTHING strange/ WEIRD about that!!!!! ONCE AGAIN (video blocking, image obsessed) MORmONISM has ALL of the answers!! JUST ASK THEM !!!!!!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 18, 2018 11:13AM

Great summation and write up. Thanks. Truly amazing how opportunistic LDS Corp is.

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