Posted by:
exminion
(
)
Date: April 23, 2018 04:34PM
We ex-Mormons aften have a difficult time socializing with Mormons, because the Mormons can't lie and pretend to us. We used to be one of them; therefore, we know their recruiting motives, their manipulative tactics, and their attitude towards those who leave.
It is exactly as you told your wife's friends, arschlock.
Once the Mormons know we are aware of their "hypocracy", they feel dis-armed and naked. Posing, being phony, pretending to be happy and perfect, pretending to know all the answers, feeling they are the only ones who are right--this is the way they were brainwashed to relate to others, and to each other.
How else can they deal with you now? Their only option is to shun you.
You did not go to far. You were honest. However, you probably made a mistake, in appearing to be "the bad guy."
My husband found out Mormonism is a hoax, before I did. He left the cult, and refused to pay tithing, and refused to support it in any way. He gave me and our children lots of attention, and family fun on the weekends, around the meetings. He agreed to not criticize the cult and our Mormon friends, and not interfere with our children's and my church attendance. In return, I agreed to not give him a hard time about leaving, or try to force him to go to any Mormon meetings or activities.
Religion became a non-subject in our marriage. We had so many things in common: our children, their sports, their school activities, our volunteer work in the schools, weekend trips, family outings to the park and zoo, tennis, golf, music, bla-bla, and church was at the bottom of the list. Elder Olddog has some good advice.
Do not use logic and facts with Mormons. Do not debate or criticize. As Cheryl says, Mormons expect to be treated like children, and it's best to avoid the subject of religion altogether.
My husband was nice to our Mormon friends, and kept his opinions to himself. When my husband went inactive, our Mormon friends stopped including us in their couples' activities. Gradually, I became socially marginalized, and labeled as "the wife of an inactive Elder." I, as the faithful Mormon, was blamed for my husband's inactivity, and my MIL and the elder's quorum harassed me, constantly, and said I should be FORCING my husband to go to church, or else our family was doomed to break up.
I also got a good look at how shabbily my husband was treated, by people I thought were kind, I thought of as friends. I had no husband around, to protect me from Mormon men who tried to hit on me, thinking I was open-season prey. They were unkind to my children, too. In other words, I witnessed, first-hand, the nasty underbelly of Mormonism. These people were not our friends.
I still believed in their fake doctrines at this time, but when I realized that the sermons, lessons, and behaviors were NOT Christ-like, I started to study my way out of the church. I had to do this on my own. I was too stubborn to follow my husband's example, in the first place.
If you are patient, and give it time, and let your wife feel the full brunt of Mormon social shunning--without trying to smooth things over with the Mormons--without bad-mouthing them, either--the Mormons will shoot themselves in the foot.
Being phony can go only so far, and soon your wife will see for herself that the entire religion is a hoax invented by a con-man. Be patient, and NEUTRAL.