If you express any anger. It's like nobody is used to it. He's angry and not controlled with everybody else, lock him up. We've never seen this before or heard venting before he is not falling in line with the rest, it's against the law to express anger, lock him up i guess. I feel like i am living the 1984 book, too afraid to say what i really want to say. You can get locked up for anything, even expressing emotions in this world. I will say people are pretty well controlled though without expressing their true feelings so i guess the law against emotions or anger is working or something. Just something i noticed when i vent, people go nuts like they've never seen it before.

Everyone gets angry. Most everyone learns how to deal with it. If you're complaining that people here can't understand or deal with your anger-you're wrong (which will make you angry). People here have given you suggestions-ad nauseam, on how to deal with your anger. But you don't take advice (except from boner) and you repeatedly return to complain about the same crap. I don't know if you go off your meds or just refuse to move forward. Folks here have bent over backwards to give you a map to help your situation. But, you discard their advice and retreat to square one. It's not that we can't handle your anger, it's that we are sick of you bitching and not taking the steps to move forward. YOU are making your anger irrelevant here.

It seems to me that you need the church. You need it to be the reason for every aspect of your life. You need it to be the foil for any responsibility for this outcome. You need it to be the reason for your anger. I don't know how you'd ever give it up and move on. It seems to complete you.

Doctrine is Mormonism’s biggest problem. They should keep that red headed stepchild in his room and focus on getting along. It’s a very ordered religion. Maybe it would be good for you. It’s okay that the LDS Universe is just as factual as the Marvel Universe. You still like The Hulk, right?

Stripped of the doctrine and guilt tripping, it’s not that bad.

It's disappointing to me to see people getting on the Badass's case lately. Everybody deals with things in their own way, on their own timetable. If I didn't like his posts, then I wouldn't read them. If I was tired of "helping" him, then wouldn't. But I wouldn't give him grief because he's not living up to my expectations of him. It seems to me that he's his own man, living his own life, and trying to make the best of the hand of cards that life dealt him. And he can't make the best of it without figuring it out. Sometimes that takes a while. Some people can't just listen to some logical rationale and then just "snap out of it." Life isn't always that simple.

Badass, feel free to rant on. Anger is a real, natural, and often times JUSTIFIED emotion. If you were ranting and raving here daily because people left the cap off the toothpaste, or left the toilet seat up, then I'd be worried, but that's not the case (as I see it).

For people to make you angry, and then condemn or criticize you for it, is gaslighting. It's sociopathic. It's also very "Mormon." If people have caused you pain, physical or mental, feel free to call them on it. Talking about things, venting, etc, is a part of the healing process. It's you taking control of these things, wrestling your life out of the hands of people who've mistreated you over and over and over again. If you need to talk it through multiple times, to reinforce your new mended thought processes, then feel free to do so.

"It's disappointing to me to see people getting on the Badass's case lately. Everybody deals with things in their own way, on their own timetable."

The fact is that Adam is causing people to "be on his case" and also driving people away from RfM. Look at his posting history and subject. If he doesn't get the attention he seeks, he escalates things for a response. If his posts don't get the replies that he deems appropriate, he posts 2 more times. You can't ignore his posts, he interjects himself in other, more discussed posts. He has caused more dissension and disruption (another poster suggested he's an LDS mole trying to ruin this board) than we've ever seen. He's not healthy and the fact that he won't take the steps to get healthy, is frustrating most people. Most people that come here to figure things out and lower their stress. Adam creates stress. Constantly. Everyone has bad days, but try to find a solution to minimize bad days. Adam seems to create more bad days.

Gordonstinky, the two of you need to exchange private email addresses so you can work with him one on one.

I am insulted at his blatant racism and slur against Mexicans, etc. My son in law and grandchild are hispanic. I see no special privilges or handouts. My son in law had a horrendous upbringing. Yet, he is an honorable man who continues to work 2 and 3 jobs and is a wonderful father. Racial slurs are so offensive and ignorant. Almost as offensive is negating that everyone who has successfully pulled themselves out of a hole was able to do so because their life is easy and they had it handed to them on a silver platter. That's ugly, insulting and very narcissistic. Nothing helps. Nothing. We on this board need to be working on our recovery and helping others who want to be helped. We do not need to be used and abused by somebody who only wants his ego to be fed and wants attention, blaming us for his problems and getting pissed and abusive if we don't tell him what he wants to hear like what a fabulous person he is and yes nothing is his resposibility. People who are that concerned could correspond in private with him.

The badass seems to be giving more power/control to Mormons/Mormon Church than they in reality actually have . maybe it's a matter of simply moving to a place where Mormons are few or non existent . If a person lives in Utah, Idaho, Mesa or other Mormon strongholds it's difficult not to be angry because they and thier culture are everywhere . Go to work ? Mormons . Go to the park? Mormons. Go to Walmart. Mormons. The other way is to live with Mormons and simply ignore them or make fun of them.Letting them control your every thought is allowing them to CONTROL you and that is really what they are all about They win . You lose Living in SLC there are times I get pissed especially when they control the laws through thier minions at the legislature . At work when they start yapping about conference I just laugh at how pathetic that is . My suggestion is to either move where you never need to hear about , interact with or deal with Mormondom at all. or just ignore thier delusional asses.

Good advice. That's why it'll be ignored, with a half dozen excuses why he can't do those things.

We do have a very bad time in society at handling anger, and I think there are waaay too many commonly believed myths about how anger should be dealt with. If I may, I think one of those myths is that venting anger is really necessary or even helpful. Unfortunately, most people will readily accept this as fact, but it's not really the case from my experience.

Anger arises when we perceive that we have been wronged, that some right of ours that should be respected has been violated. In order to bring our emotions back into a more tolerable balance, what we really need to to is to resolve the problem that brought on the anger to begin with. That may mean talking to the person who wronged you, it may mean moving away from whatever situation is causing the stress, or in some cases where no real remedy exists, it may mean building up a tolerance for unpleasant things.

Anger is a basic emotion, and there's nothing wrong with it, we just have to be able to manage it. That usually means being assertive with the right party in a timely manner and with acceptable behavior. It doesn't mean suppressing one's feelings or expressing them in a place where it has no effect.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/26/2018 12:34PM by zarahemlatowndrunk.

100% Agree.

Two days ago, about 4 frustrations came together at work and left me feeling "angry" inside. Recurring frustration can do that now and then.

I didn't yell, vent, cry, or anything else, but when I got home, my wife could see I was preoccupied with that anger.....not my usual perky self :)

I calmly told her that I had a frustrating day at work and needed to be by myself for a bit and just let it flow through until I figure it out and I'll be fine. I went outside and chopped wood for a couple hours, thinking about it (not rehashing my anger), and ended up going to bed still feeling angry.

As I drove into work the next morning, still thinking about it, I found solutions to the issues that had me angry the previous day. As soon as I found the solutions, the anger felt less present. As soon as I got into work and put the solutions in place, the anger was gone.

That's my typical method when I'm angry. I pull inward and contemplate, yea even ponderizing, until I find the solution. I don't need advice, I don't need company for support. I need to resolve the problem in my own head. I still feel the anger, but I'm working on a solution at the same time. That takes anywhere from 12 - 48 hours, depending on the issue.

Moral of the story is, anger is a normal, natural emotion to feel. Rehashing and/ or lashing out with the anger doesn't make it go away. Solving the problem that causes the anger does.

Metaphorically speaking, if you have a sharp rock in your shoe and your super duper extra pissed off about it, demonstrating your all encompassing anger, you'll stay pissed off until you take off your shoe and remove the rock.

Exactly. That's very healthy and helpful.

Thanks. I guess some people are just not capable of doing that. My ex-wife for example :)

Anger is not foreign to society. Not by a long shot.
Not sure why you think this. It's a distortion of reality.
There is a great deal of anger in society. All you have to do is listen to the news.

I believe, that the post, once you scratch the surface, is telling us that we all can't understand and agree or emphasize with his anger. He's the only guy on the planet that has this much anger (and the justification for his anger) that he can't recover from his anger. And we don't care enough.

Of course anger is a basic human emotion. It doesn't give someone an excuse to be a big shithead, blaming, accusing and threatening.

and then being told he doesn't want to hear about daddy's inheritance. Well, if he knew how much it was, he'd be shocked. I'm not some princess. I have worked very hard to get where I am. I didn't get child support or alimony and I didn't ask for it. And while my ex was off with his boyfriend and they were emotionally abusing me, I raised 2 kids and worked 2 jobs, doing all the homework, etc., with them. Paying for EVERYTHING unless I could somehow beg $5 off him and his boyfriend. Then when we declared bankruptcy, I paid for it, but he put some of his boyfriend's debts on the bankruptcy. I paid $800 a month for 8 years on the bankruptcy while he and his many boyfriends traveled to Cancun and the Keys, etc. While I was feeding his children on next to nothing. I've been treated poorly for a long, long time and I just keep taking it and I get angry myself at those who abuse me, but I don't come on here and throw tantrums and treat those who try to help me poorly.

I have a lot of health issues and I'm sure he never had to go home from the hospital after a C-section and having twins and then TAKE CARE OF 2 BABIES while recovering. I didn't think I'd ever walk again because it was too painful. My husband was working, taking a night class, and in a choir and it was Christmas time, so I was ALONE all the time. To get up, I had to scoot over onto my cedar chest next to the bed to be able to get up and go make bottles for my babies every 3 hours 24/7 for months. I had postpartum depession on top of that, in a basement apartment. I even typed up my husband's term paper for him and I couldn't see I was so tired, so he read it to me while I typed it. He promised he'd make it up to me someday. Well, he did. He left me.

So cry me a river. I have no empathy left for you. I won't be back to read your insults. And yes you are driving people away from this board.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/26/2018 01:34PM by cl2.

"So cry me a river. I have no empathy left for you. I won't be back to read your insults. And yes you are driving people away from this board."

Something the moderators don't get. The other day another poster suggested it could be a concerted effort to turn away mormons that were actually looking for help in making a decision to leave.This used to be the place to turn. Not so much anymore.

I would really hate to see some of out best, most compassionate, most helpful, relatable posters leave over this. It would be a real shame.

Everyone has spent months and months trying to be helpful, give good advice, post after post after post, only to be told they're advice is worthless because no one's suffering even comes close to Adam's.