Posted by:
Mother Who Knows
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Date: May 01, 2018 03:41AM
Oh my dear. Katherine. That is so sad!
You and your ex don't deserve to be treated like that. Maybe your son, his wife, or some of your grandchildren will come to their senses. It's not over until it's over.
Your ex died having lived a life of religious integrity, and I'm sure he knew he did everything he could do to try to keep those Mormon relationships viable--even buy his son a fancy car. If there's an afterlife, your ex has even more understanding, now.
Please don't feel responsible for your son's attitude. He's an adult, now, and can make his own choices. I should say, "non-choices", because the Mormon cult brainwashes its victims, so they no longer think for themselves. Remember, the cult as a whole, exemplified by the new prophet Nelson, does NOT believe in UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, which is Christ-like love, and parent-child love. Nelson himself said, "Unconditional love is anti-christ.
I believe the Mormon cult is truly evil.
This probably doesn't help you feel any better, because you have tremendous guilt. So do I! I forced my children to go to church, when they did not want to. They even cried, they hated it so much--and I didn't listen to their pleas--and I made them dry their eyes and go.
Finally, I realized that church had become a wedge between me and my children. It was the only thing we fought about. One Saturday, at breakfast, I asked them WHY they hated church, and (one of the most important things I ever did) I sat and LISTENED to what they had to say. All of them had been physically abused! I've written about this on RFM before, so I won't go into detail. All of my children had been threatened by the Mormon leaders not to tell anyone about the abuse, including their own mother! In that instant, I told them that they never had to go to church again.
If it hadn't been for the extreme abuse, my children and I might have stayed Mormon. I still believed at that time. It was the abuse that made me really start to question, critically.
I honestly believe that all children are abused, mentally, in the Mormon cult. Mental abuse is not as obvious. The victims usually don't realize they are being abused at all. My definition of mental abuse is: putting someone down for their weaknesses, manipulating someone into doing something they don't want to do or that they don't feel good about doing, brainwashing someone, lying, threatening, intimidating with false authority, closed-door interviews about sex, treating someone like dirt--and the list goes on.
Evidently your son was unaware of all of this, and so were you, for several years. I was lucky that my children left when they were younger, and not yet brainwashed. You, and many of my ex-Mormon friends, were not so lucky. My best friend, a widow, sent her son on a mission, and paid for it, herself. Then she paid for his entire college education, including medical school. She found out Mormonism is a fraud when she was a grandmother. Now, her arrogant, self-righteous, GA-wannabe son and his wife think they are too good for my friend. They are afraid Grandma will be a bad influence on their children. As the grandchildren get older and wiser--as the Mormon church itself keeps unravelling--Grandma gets the blame for all of it! My friend never says one word about religion to her family. She's afraid to. The DIL and grandkids see her once a year, for part of a day, on their summer visits to Utah. Her son hasn't seen her for 3 years.
So sad. So unfair! It makes my blood boil!
Please, don't take it personally (though what could be more personal than a mother-son relationship?), but I'm saying that your son is shunning his brothers, too. Shunning is Mormon SOP.
Maybe there's something you can do about the situation.... If you feel weak, get together with your other children, and figure out ways to build bridges. Maybe one of your family members could go with you to visit your son. (Don't go alone into the enemy's camp.)
((((hugs))))