If mormons talk about someone leaving their church, they say it's "having your name removed."

Those who are leaving mormonism need to say, "I am resigning." Then tell the date the resignation is effective.

"I am resigning from the mormon church as of today."

That said, the former member is OUT, even if no one has yet sent a letter stating that fact.

If someone says, "I'd like to have my name removed," mormons can say no or they can drag out the process to suit their own needs.

Besides, names are never "removed." The mormon church keeps all records. There are no clean deletions because they're hoping the resigned members will change their minds. If they do, then the church can step in and reinstate whatever priesthood or other levels were lost at resignation.

If the resigned members don't return, the church can use saved records for dead dunking and other dead rites.

So please just resign if that's what you want and you don't want unnecessary delays or hassles.

Hmmm i never got a letter from anybody but the bishop said he removed my records. What should i do?

Hopefully, someone will post the toll free number for you.

Ask them what your membership status is.

"Do you still have me listed as a member? Or not? I have resigned and would like a letter saying the organization does not consider me to be a member."

Legally, you are out the minute the church recieves your letter. Your Bishop can say anything he wants, he can say he “removed your name” or never hear back. It matters not. You ceased being a member the moment they recieved your letter telling them your done. Any other response, to include no response is simply their own administrative bullshit. All they are to you is just a bunch of guys you used to go to church with.

If you need something formal then resubmit a letter to membership records and send it certified so you know they got it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/04/2018 04:19PM by Whiskeytango.

If Adam doesn't care that SLC might still considers him to be a member, there's no reason to contact them.


I never received a confirmation letter and I don't care, but many exmos do want one.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/04/2018 04:17PM by Cheryl.

Yeah, me too. Back in 2013 I sent them a resignation, they sent it back saying they couldn’t process it because all I had for a return address was a P.O. Box. I didn’t care. I know that legally I was finished the minute they got the letter. I kept a copy of the resignation, the green receipt with their signature and a copy of their response and never looked back.

I am kind of non-conformist though and struggle with administrative policies and procedures, which should have been a clue that my relationship with the Church would be a train wreck from day one.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/04/2018 04:29PM by Whiskeytango.

Cheryl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If Adam doesn't care that SLC might still
> considers him to be a member, there's no reason to
> contact them.
>
>
> I never received a confirmation letter and I don't
> care, but many exmos do want one.

I care and think i want to know for sure.

I cared and wanted to know for sure. No one can show up at my door and say, "I'm your Bishop or HT or VT."

Not possible. Those are assigned to members. And I'm not "Sister Dorothy".

Don't call me anything. Just leave me alone.

It is important to me to keep my copy of the final out letter. It is my document from the COJCOLDS to give copies back to them if they ever try to treat me as a member. They acknowledged my resignation in that letter, no room for them to backtrack on me now.

and their "You're Outta Here" letter in reply. It's always nice to tidy up those loose ends.

catnip Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> and their "You're Outta Here" letter in reply.
> It's always nice to tidy up those loose ends.

I want that "You're Outta Here" letter. I would love that.

You deserve one. Harass them until you get one.

Dorothy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You deserve one. Harass them until you get one.

Maybe i will and call them right now at midnight for payback on harrassing me knocking on my door constantly over the years. "Oh sorry sir were you sleeping and enjoying your night. I want to know if my records were removed? Thanks, sorry to wake you up sir and disrupt your life, like you all did mine."

People say, don't jump through their hoops, but I think making them give you the letter makes them jump through hoops.

I consider the finality a service to hapless ward members who don't really want to call, text, write, or knock.

When I was a member, the last person I wanted to spend time on was someone who considered my efforts a rude intrusion.

It seems like the church has quit fighting with people who are exiting for the most part.

Can you imagine the emotional toll and time commitment if every bishop were charged with stopping every person who wanted out?

I know some people who are comfortable with a verbal "you're out", but I think they can print me up one damn form letter for all the time, money, and effort I put into that damn religion.

I also have my "you're out" letter although I crossed out "Sister" on it, since only my biological brother can call me his sister. They've left me alone in the years since I got that letter, despite the missionaries living in an apartment in the neighborhood.

I also resigned, so the minute I mailed the letter to SLC, I was legally no longer a member. I even told the person claiming to be a bishop that to get the harassment to finally stop, before legal action was taken. I was prepared to follow through with that threat, but I got the "your'e out" letter shortly after I did that.

Mormon Church headquarters:
From within Utah: 1-800-662-3656
From outside of Utah: 1-800-453-3860
Call and ask for membership records. I don't know what they'll tell you when you're not a Bishop. But I would say "I had my name taken off of the church records and want to confirm that I am a non-member now. Can you do that for me?". If they won't do that for you, ask who the registered agent for the church is, the person who can officially receive legal service on new lawsuits.

azsteve Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mormon Church headquarters:
> From within Utah: 1-800-662-3656
> From outside of Utah: 1-800-453-3860
> Call and ask for membership records. I don't know
> what they'll tell you when you're not a Bishop.
> But I would say "I had my name taken off of the
> church records and want to confirm that I am a
> non-member now. Can you do that for me?". If they
> won't do that for you, ask who the registered
> agent for the church is, the person who can
> officially receive legal service on new lawsuits.

Got it, i am going to piss them off on the phone and it will be awesome.

Great advice, Cheryl.

I felt invigorated and powerful, when I wrote my letter of resignation. I TOLD them my children and I were quitting the church, resigning, and were no longer members. I TOLD them that my temple marriage was null and void because my temple husband had brutally beaten me. I TOLD them that all my temple ordinances and rituals were null and void, and that my children and I had NOTHING to do with the temple. (The cult said my kids were sealed to my ex, when they were born 5+ years after the divorce. I also TOLD the church who my children would be with in the hereafter--ME and my family. Don't ask, TELL them!

I was very redundant in this! Hah--I wish I had my letter to quote. I managed to keep it brief, and down to one page, but I doubt the sleaze bags even read it.

Your resignation letter must be received by the COB. Send it registered mail, return-receipt, or whatever they call it, so you know it has been received.

Yes, keep the postal return-recipt, with the date, time, and a signature. As of that moment of signing the receipt, that is the exact date and time you are free.

You will, in the cult's own sweet time, receive what we call a "letter of confirmation." After waiting 6 months for a letter of confirmation, I made a seriously threatening phone call to the head office, and gave them the name of my attorney, and I got the letter a few days after that.

No. True to the basic philosophy behind Mormonism, they will NEVER say you are resigned/out/free/no longer a member/erased from the records, or any such thing. I tried, Cheryl, but the best I could do was "your names (not us, only our names) have been removed from the rolls (what rolls? For Sunday school class?)

We are out when we say we're out, legally. I think it is necessary for our peace of mind to get documentation, because we do not trust the lying Mormon cult.

Gone Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Great advice, Cheryl.
>
> I felt invigorated and powerful, when I wrote my
> letter of resignation. I TOLD them my children
> and I were quitting the church, resigning, and
> were no longer members. I TOLD them that my
> temple marriage was null and void because my
> temple husband had brutally beaten me. I TOLD
> them that all my temple ordinances and rituals
> were null and void, and that my children and I had
> NOTHING to do with the temple. (The cult said my
> kids were sealed to my ex, when they were born 5+
> years after the divorce. I also TOLD the church
> who my children would be with in the hereafter--ME
> and my family. Don't ask, TELL them!
>
> I was very redundant in this! Hah--I wish I had
> my letter to quote. I managed to keep it brief,
> and down to one page, but I doubt the sleaze bags
> even read it.
>
> Your resignation letter must be received by the
> COB. Send it registered mail, return-receipt, or
> whatever they call it, so you know it has been
> received.
>
> Yes, keep the postal return-recipt, with the date,
> time, and a signature. As of that moment of
> signing the receipt, that is the exact date and
> time you are free.
>
> You will, in the cult's own sweet time, receive
> what we call a "letter of confirmation." After
> waiting 6 months for a letter of confirmation, I
> made a seriously threatening phone call to the
> head office, and gave them the name of my
> attorney, and I got the letter a few days after
> that.
>
> No. True to the basic philosophy behind
> Mormonism, they will NEVER say you are
> resigned/out/free/no longer a member/erased from
> the records, or any such thing. I tried, Cheryl,
> but the best I could do was "your names (not us,
> only our names) have been removed from the rolls
> (what rolls? For Sunday school class?)
>
> We are out when we say we're out, legally. I
> think it is necessary for our peace of mind to get
> documentation, because we do not trust the lying
> Mormon cult.

Yes i don't trust pretty much anybody and would like documentation as well. I didn't receive anything in the mail and it has been three months since i resigned through quit mormon. It seems there were more abusive people created from that temple than i realized. It seems to be a more common trend since i started on here. I don't want to end up as an abusive person just because i was abused so it is good to know these things. I don't even want to mentally abuse someone and i used to want to make people suffer mentally like i did but i don't think i want that anymore. Just seeing innocent kids playing in the mall made me realize how messed up it is to mess with even their minds through brainwashing and fear. And it made me realize how messed up god is if there is one as well for overseeing great abuse of cults in general.

I resigned more than a decade ago, when everything was by snail-mail, and it was about two months between when I sent my resignation and when I got the "You're Outta Here" letter.

I don't remember if I specified "no contact," but I got a phone call from the bishop. He sounded like he would rather face a firing squad than make that phone call, and I felt, emotionally, loaded for bear. I was edgy and snippy. I apologized later; he is really a very nice guy.

I think you should follow up on that resignation. Just to be sure.

catnip Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I resigned more than a decade ago, when everything
> was by snail-mail, and it was about two months
> between when I sent my resignation and when I got
> the "You're Outta Here" letter.
>
> I don't remember if I specified "no contact," but
> I got a phone call from the bishop. He sounded
> like he would rather face a firing squad than make
> that phone call, and I felt, emotionally, loaded
> for bear. I was edgy and snippy. I apologized
> later; he is really a very nice guy.
>
> I think you should follow up on that resignation.
> Just to be sure.

Well the bishop did text me a few days after i resigned and said he removed my name but who the hell knows if he did. I got no "You're outta here letter." like i wanted. How do i get one if i were to pursue it?

Hey, Adam. I resigned through quit mormon as well at the same time you did. I haven't received a letter either, but I did get an email from quit mormon stating that they were resenting my resignation as the church hadn't responded yet. It's weird that both of us are being held up. Good luck!

uhhsoyeah Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey, Adam. I resigned through quit mormon as well
> at the same time you did. I haven't received a
> letter either, but I did get an email from quit
> mormon stating that they were resenting my
> resignation as the church hadn't responded yet.
> It's weird that both of us are being held up. Good
> luck!

Hmmm i got a text from the bishop right after i resigned through quit mormon. He said he removed my name but i am not quite sure if he did or not. And no letter confirming anything. Would not be surprised if they lied about removing my name. It's the mormons we are talking about here, the biggest liars on earth. So nothing would surprise me. They haven't knocked on more door since resigning and it's been the best three months of my life.

I used this method and received a letter very shortly after saying they'd I was officially resigned. No muss. No fuss.

https://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm

Resigning from the cult seems faster and easier than it was 10 years ago. You don't have to write them a letter. You certainly don't owe them any communication--all they ever give out is form-letters, anyway. I also think they don't bother to read our letters, knowing the cult the way I do.

I wrote a letter mainly for me and my children to have in our files, with the receipt stapled to it. I kept the letter by the door, to wave at the Mormon door-knockers, but no one ever wanted to read it. It tells exactly WHY we left.

My kids and I had already separated from the cult, and our letter was a way of documenting the physical abuse, and stating the Truth. Writing it and mailing it helped us get our power back. It helped the kids realize that the cult and its rules and its demands were all made-up junk, and not of God, at all. We made our own rules, and we said that our letter was "A Notice that we have already quit the Mormon cult." We also wrote, "We demand that you send us a letter of confirmation of resignation, and that you stop stalking and harassing us. Do not contact us."

After a lifetime in Mormonism, I have learned that they respond only to strong words. Politeness is not part of their modus operandi.

Oh, it took 9 months for us to get the form letter saying that our names would be removed from the rolls. The kids and I wondered, "When would they be removed? When we are 110 years old?" It said we could be quickly reinstated at any time, which implied that our records were close at hand, ready to be re-filed, or whatever....

Damn.

I totally agree with Cheryl on this.

"Name Removal" is Mormon-speak. There is a perfectly adequate, well known English word to describe the exact same thing: resignation.

I think they prefer the euphemism "name removal" because it naturally tends to get expressed as "I request that my name be removed", or words to that effect.

That makes it sound like they are in charge of making it happen, i.e. that they are in control. In point of fact, when you resign, YOU are in control. They have no say in the matter.

So, their euphemism gives the false impression that they get to decide whether to comply with your "request".

Secondly, Name Removal is a euphemism because they do not in fact remove your name. Well, in a sense they do - it gets removed from your local ward membership list. But it does not get removed from the central church database. It simply gets flagged as resigned. Like all euphemisms, the purpose is to mislead in some way.

One of the things (English-speaking) ex-Mormons should do is learn to speak standard English again, instead of Mormonese.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/04/2018 10:07PM by Brother Of Jerry.

I used the form letter available on this site. Don't care what if anything they did with my name afterwards.

While they don't actually "remove" your name from their records from the database in church headquarters, your name really is removed from the records in the ward (aside from outdated hard copies floating around). You are no longer on lists for members to reactivate or harass.

It's not simply some personal declaration to make oneself feel good. Resigning IS a concrete, practical measure one can make.

In Reality, you are out when you say you're out, the church

doesn't own you . You don't even need to resign, you didn't

sign a contract with the church when you were baptised. They

have no legal hold on you. I resigned by using the info


do it that way.... I just wanted to be among the crowds of

people who did it that way to show our disdain for the

over the Gay and Lesbian policy. Do it or don't... all I can

say is , that it feels wonderful to leave.






t

Saucie, I agree with you totally. You are out when you say you are out, you don't even need to resign.

My son was baptised at 8 years of age. He certainly never signed a contract with TSCC and even if he had, it would not be legally binding because he was a minor at the time. He is now 39 years old and has been totally inactive for 27 years. On the few occasions that he has been contacted by the church, he has stated that he no longer considers himself a member of a church he did not want to join in the first place.

They however insist upon a written resignation otherwise with the new ministering program they have an "obligation" to continue contacting him.

My son's attitude is, "I've told them I am no longer a member and I haven't been one for over 27 year so they have no power over me. I don't give a flying fig what they do with my records, they can keep them or wipe their bums with them. If they want to minister to me on a regular basis they are the ones who have to travel for an hour with petrol hitting $1.50 per litre (about a quart),and that is their problem not mine!"

I like Cheryl's suggestion.

Acknowledgement to those who went before in formally exiting the
MORmON cult, as they fought (filthy vile nasty vicious) LD$ inc IN COURT to successfully streamline and simplify the exiting process for those who would follow.

Specifically Kathy Worthington. RIP, nice lady.

I was a very sincere convert who became terribly disillusioned. It was so difficult to realize that the church I had believed in, whole-heartedly, was a sham. For me, it was almost as dreadful as a divorce.

Kathy helped me through it. I still have copies of some of her emails in the same file as my resignation letter and the "You're Outta Here" letter.

I remember her in much the same way as I remember Deenie, the Dreaded Single Adult. Both of them are way up there in the exmo Hall of Fame.

Cheryl wrote:-

"Besides, names are never "removed." The mormon church keeps all records. There are no clean deletions because they're hoping the resigned members will change their minds. If they do, then the church can step in and reinstate whatever priesthood or other levels were lost at resignation".

Yesterday I tried pointing this out to my son's newly minted "minister" but he wasn't having a bar of it. He insisted that names and records were completely removed.

When I asked how a members priesthood and other levels could be restored to what they were previously if there were no records kept and the member decided to rejoin the church, he completely ignored me. His reply was- "Sister, I promise you, I PROMISE that upon resignation your records are COMPLETELY removed."

I also asked why they require a written resignation, surely 27 years of total inactivity speaks for itself and a verbal request to cease contact should be honoured. His reply to that was "How much trouble does it take to scribble a few words on a piece of paper, how much trouble can it possibly be?"

Of course that left him wide open for my reply "How much trouble can it possibly be for you to make a note of a verbal resignation?" He left soon after and sat outside in his car for ten minutes writing up his notes.

Thanks to the beloved correlation program I have been indoctrinated my whole life to the assumption that people go inactive because they are either offended, lazy, or want to sin. One assumption that is unthinkable in this wondrous bubble of all encompassing approved thinking boundaries is that there could possibly be anything wrong with the Church or any slight amounts of dishonesty or lack of full transparency in its history. Thus on all things we are conditioned to view as being an exercise in Obedience or seeking permission. There is no room for initiative or thinking as our focus is to obey and follow. So how can anyone even consider the word Resignation. It's unthinkable in our glorious dogma as it presumes that a person is thinking and making a decision independent of the Church. That is why it's important (in order to be doctrinally compliant with full humility) to call it "Name Removal" as this shows that the Church is in charge and allows the person who leaves the Church to demonstrate that they accept that this church is wondrously super honest and transparent Church with never changing eternal doctrines and that they accept it is in charge of all salvation.