1. How many of you are still "In the closet" so to speak How do you deal with it? I am no wheenear ready to break the news to my family about doubting (I seem to go through these phases of "I want out, wait, no I don't" How many of you still carry callings and play a type of "mole" role here. What I mean is, "I think this is BS, but I'm in the bishopric etc and I'm willing to report here on the goings on.

2. Not nearly as formal or life changing, how many of you still find yourself cheering for BYU sports even now?

1. I stopped going to church as soon as I graduated from BYU. Church attendance was mandatory for continuing ecclesiastical endorsements, so the bishop I had (who was pretty cool about it) said I had to attend Sacrament meeting. So, I did, sat in the back and read Ayn Rand. (Yes I had an Ayn Rand phase.)

When I moved closer to my family, I'd go to church when visiting my parents, but that stopped pretty quickly. I think I told my parents I was gay before I really told them what I think about their church.

I guess I never really have sat them down and told them what a bunch of crock it is. Really, what is the point? My actions have made it pretty clear where I stand. I had my name removed so I suppose they found out about it in their tithing settlement.

2. I have a complicated love/hate relationship with BYU football. Growing up, I read, "And They Came to Pass" waaaaaay too many times. Its a book about BYU quarterbacks. So I was a fan of BYU football for quite a while.

Now? Its love/hate as I said above. I hate them, I love them, I hate that I love them, and I love that I hate them. I'm secretly happy when they do well, but also pleased when they lose big to a good team after they've been all high and mighty about how they don't get any respect.

Never went back after that and haven't been sorry for a minute.

Perhaps you might consider taking a six month vacation for church to clear you mind and ponder where you stand?

1.) I'm out to family and a very few close friends. I think most people in the ward assume I've been disfellowshipped or ex'd at this point, since I attend less and don't have a calling. I haven't come out to everyone just out of respect to DW and kids, who are still firm believers.

2.) As a BYU grad, I'll always follow BYU sports to some degree, though with the passage of time and distance (I live now in Oregon), I've come to root less and less for BYU.

My wife would freak out over a vacation, I'm just trying to figure out how to slowly deflate and slow down the train.

Perhaps you could skip church more frequently, like once a month or once every six weeks or so? And start dropping hints and seeds of thought for your wife to discuss or ponder.

Most women hate polygamy. You might want to mention how this practice bothers you and you could read one of the good books recently written about it, mention the most interesting parts, and leave it for her to pick up.

I taught Priesthood meeting and worked for the church when I become a doubter.

I started putting too much truth in my lessons, and was fired.

Then I started asking the wrong questions in GD class and getting the air sucked out of the room. Then stopped going at all.

The missionaries came a couple of times and they got too much truth and never came back. The EQ Pres came once and now they leave me alone.

They don't want me back. I live in one of those wards where they are very evangelical. They assign people to call and "miss" seeing people who weren't there, but they don't call me.

I've got it easy.

My family doesn't officially know, but one nosy sister-in-law knows, so they probably all know, but don't say anything to me.

I agree with Cheryl, test the waters with your spouse in a way that is not too threatening to her. Ask her a question about her feelings about some doctrine or action. You don't even have to tell her how you really feel, just feel her out gently. If she is rabid, just back off gently. Only move ahead when you can see she is receptive.

And yes, start missing meetings, become less reliable in your callings. Don't volunteer for anything, and if you feel uncomfortable about any task, say so to the bishop, and if she is receptive, to your spouse. And get so busy, that you don't have time to home teach!

They don't own you after all, and you are entitled to a life of your own, and some personal fun, too. Explore that!

You might mention how nice the weather is on Sunday, and how nice the canyons and peaks look today (if you are in the mountains ;)). Maybe do some after church picnics or other activities?

Move slow, stay happy.

1. I told my Bishop last night I was having major doubts with the church, and I told him to cancel my mission (I was supposed to go on a mission in early October). I plan on telling my family i'm not going on a mission later this week. I still need to mentally and emotionally prepare for it.

2. Never was a BYU fan. My family has always been hardcore Utah fans, whom I follow religiously.

I'm proud of you for doing this! : )

thanks :) its been a tough journey so far, and it's only going to get tougher. starting with telling my family i'm calling off the mission. wish me luck.

Remember, you can handle it better than you think. Just stay as calm as possible and don't feel like you have to justify your decision or prove that the church isn't what it claims to be. Your feelings, goals, and life plans are the only reasons you need and the two long years do belong to you, no one else.

Good for you! As long as you are cancelling for reasons of integrity and not to "sin" as it were.

I asume you have put enough pieces together to see the church more clearly for what it really is. A big religious corporation. You will not be sorry. Have patience with those you tell. That could be a rough ride but you can soften it by letting everyone know that it is "your" decision and yours alone and leave it at that.

You can remind them if it gets rough, that Satans plan was to use emotional and physical force and threats to your salvation to get men to believe (or go on a mission due to a guilt trip).

Again cudos to you!

Go utes.

There's another board called newordermormon.org for people who stay in for various reasons after loosing faith.

I'm semi closeted.
I tried to come-out, but found that DW has a good denial reflex. I specified that I believe in the Spalding-Rigdon theory and briefly described it, but she just took it as a smokescreen for what's "really" going on. She's right. It's simpler than that. I find the "gospel" to be globally intolerant of my historical, philosophical, social, and scientific worldview. Luckily she didn't buy into one of the sinister assumptions about losing faith, ie that I must be addicted to porn or that ilk. She charitably went with depression and a "rough childhood" (my childhood wasn't 'hood rough by any means, but divorce and family inactivity pass as rough to her, is it did to me up until I realized my inactive family was the best if not only safety net I had when my testimony collapsed, as a TBM will only resort to pity, denial, contempt, anything but empathy). But I just quietly linger. No priesthood callings or ordinances, didn't ordain my 12 year old boy, DW had bishop do it in my absence. Sometimes she'll say she misses me, meaning misses me in the gospel. But, she's also enjoying the freedom- better-sex books, R-rated movies, mild swear words. I don't know where it's gonna go. I'm hoping the church makes some fatal error, but not likely. They've survived many fatal errors. Other religions have survived centuries of patent fatal errors far greater. I see my new job in the family as expecting the church to let them down when they don't expect it, and being their safety net.