I’ve been in nursery for two years and I just can’t stand it anymore. I hate teaching these indoctrination lessons when I don’t even believe it anymore, plus it’s just disgusting in there and I have a cold every other week because of the germ-ridden, grimy crap. The ladies in there don’t even play with the kids, they just sit in chairs and gossip about Ward members. Plus we have like FIVE adults and two kids!

I’m losing my mind. I wish the Bishop would just release me already.

Should I just go into his office and ask to be released?

Give Him an end date after whuch you'll no longer do the calling. 2 weeks out IMHO. This gives him time to find a replacement.

When he asks why say personal reasons that aren't open for discussion.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/17/2018 12:17PM by dogblogger.

No reasons, no excuses, no whining, just "xx/xx/2018 will be my final day in ________________(calling name.)

Worked for me.

Just tell your bishop that youve had a vision. And then start speaking in tongues and demand the interpretation. I guarentee youll never get another calling.

Don't ask, tell. Gather your courage and just tell the bishop your time is up. Since this is a Sunday, he has a week to replace you. But with only two kids in the nursery, I don't see any need to even replace you.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to the bishop just send a text message, e-mail, or snail mail and when he refuses to release you do not respond. You can also tell him that callings are voluntary and you are no longer a volunteer. If he argues that, just tell him to contact your lawyer. Churches are legally akin to clubs and you have the legal right to leave at any time.

Maybe now would be a great time to resign completely from LDS, Inc.????

It's voluntary service. You don't need to ask. You just tell.

Use qüitmormon(dot)com to pass them the word that you're done! And to ease their pain, announce that they can keep your last pay check.

"For infectious health reasons I must resign from the nursery as of the end of the month. I won't be volunteering in that position as of after end of June."

Don't explain beyond that, just repeat it as necessary and walk away.

So, the "infectious health reasons" won't take effect for 12 more days? I wish I could control my health to that extent.

The above solutions all include the end result of burning your bridges. If you are currently unable or unwilling to take this strong a stand, I suggest you come up with a really good lie. Preferably revolving around a mysterious physical illness. Tell bishop you can no longer do the calling but don’t be too specific about your illness. If he starts asking, start crying and keep crying until you have to leave the room to compose yourself. That should do it.

This is why I think women will inherit the Earth.

The danger here is the LDS rumor mill causing numerous well intentions/curious calls and visitors at your front door.

"Health reasons" is sufficient.

Tell him you are done and leave it at that.

If, for some reason you feel compelled to say more put it as "on the directions of my physician" - and let him worry about it on his own. No, nothing he can do and you don't have to go back.

Tell the Bish you've been arrested for child abuse!

Seriously, it's in the self interest of Bishops and other leaders to create this fantasy that it's a sin to ask to be released. That's just wrong. You should take care of yourself, not make life easy for the "leaders".

Stop going next Sunday. And every Sunday thereafter.

You can't ask to be released because they will refuse you. Why? Because it's hard to find another victim who will do time in the nursery.

It's a lousy job. Wild horses would not force me to do it.

You need to stop showing up.
And also refuse their phone calls & visits.

You can be sure everyone in the ward will be at your door to shame you into working in the &^&&* nursery.

Don't ask, TELL. Slavery has been over for years....

You can do it !!!! They don't own you. Just say you can

no longer do your calling and don't offer any excuses or

reasons... its none of their business. When I did it I gave

them a two week notice so they wouldn't be stranded. It worked

out fine. Let us know how it goes for you.

He's got you, someone with a pulse, already doing the job. If he voluntarily releases you, that's just more work for him to fill the spot. So what incentive does he have to agree to your "request"?

This is why you don't "request." You *inform.* He'll probably push back anyway, maybe by refusing to accept your decision to release yourself. He may respond by saying you can't do that, and enlist others to gang up on you and pressure you. He might play the guilt and shame card, threatening that your vague "blessings," whatever they are, will be withheld or revoked.

And if he does any of those things, by not respecting your decision as an adult to take charge of your own life, you will know then with every fiber of your being that he wouldn't grant a simple request for a release.

The bishop imagines he has authority and power over you. You'll have to take active steps to show him just how wrong he is. You can do it.

Just quit today. You owe them no explanation and you owe them no loyalty.

This !

Tell the bish you wanna meet after work for a beer!

Tell them you won't be doing it anymore for personal reasons, then refuse to talk about it no matter who is asking.

The fact that you are asking this question clearly demonstrates you are a kind considerate individual. The corporation loves folks like yourself. The corporation gets a bit confused when such people stand up for themselves. The leaders do not know how to respond in many cases. Guilt is their only tool. You need to stand up for yourself and say you are done. No explanation needed. Notice, you will likely not be thanked for all your work over the past 2 years. If someone worked as a volunteer for you for 2 years, I believe you would give a gift or a thank you note for the service. The lack of gratitude from the church towards volunteer work shows it is all one sided. Again, just quit.

I also agree with not giving him any excuses. Give him an end date even if it is TODAY.

I told the RS I was done teaching when I was going inactive and they just never released me, so I finally told them 2 weeks and I would no longer be teaching, and then I never went back.

Complete individuals Don't Need the Morg & they're Not Welcome there;

Nothing could be more obvious, more easily understood!

Had a huge sunbeam-ish class.

Asked for a helper.

Asked for a helper.

Asked for a helper.

Got a helper. Lovely woman. More work than the kids.

Asked to be released.

Asked to be released.

Stayed home.

Phone rang. “Where are you?”

“I’m at Costco.”

If there are 5 women in there with only 2 children, my first question is why? Are they nursery leaders too or just hanging out because their other classes are too boring?

I left a couple of callings when I was in the midst of leaving for good. I took my lesson materials to the bishop's office and told him I couldn't do it anymore. I really don't remember much push back.

I totally agree with others who have advised that you tell them...not ask them.

Say to yourself..."self, release yourself from the church calling". There, done.

Only 2 kids in an entire ward nursery?? That must be an elderly ward or something! The ward my family goes to has tons of kids in the nursery...as in they never have enough adult supervision and the parents just drop them off without giving two shits about it...they are happy to be rid of them for 2 hours.

Oh, and my neighbor who has SEVEN young kids of her own got a calling to be in the nursery. Now that's F'd up!

The church doesn't care about you. Just leave.

I only had one calling (right before I bounced) and that was primary pianist. I was 18 and only going to church to play the piano and then go home. When I finally devised a plan to move out of my parent's house I told the primary chorister, "I won't be back next week because I'm moving". Bam! I released myself. She was a nice lady and I didn't want to leave her too high and dry. But I didn't bother with telling, let alone asking, the so-called 'leaders'.

This sucks
I'm done
(Mic-drop)

Honestly--I got sick every other week, when I taught in the Primary. I actually enjoyed the kids, but I couldn't afford to be sick that often.

I agree that you must TELL them! You're a volunteer, and now you're not going to volunteer anymore. You don't owe them an explanation.

When I became seriously ill, I had three callings, and I had to quit them, and take a leave of absence from my job, as well. The people at work were very kind and understanding, but the church people were downright nasty! The bishopric and my home teachers, and the scouting men THREATENED me, that God would withdraw His blessings, that my children and I would fail in life, and that I would get SICKER! They told me to play the organ, anyway, and that God would help me stay well. (Doctors could not cure me, but playing the organ would cure me?) The chorister told me to bring an air-sick bag, and she was dead serious. She said she did that a few times.

Making up lies or excuses lowers you to their level. Keep your integrity. Keep your power.

You are too good for the cult. Don't accept their bullying and threats. You don't owe them anything. They owe you. It's true that they will not thank you. It's true that they won't let you go.

You know this isn't God's work, don't you.

You do not have to give them two weeks notice. It's not worth your getting exposed to yet another cold!

You do not have to find someone to take your place, either. You are quitting. That's like asking you do more for them. The Mormons didn't call me to ask me how my hospital treatments were going, or if I needed any help, but they kept calling me to try to make me teach organ lessons! They made me feel guilty that there wasn't anyone else to play the organ. Don't let them manipulate you into doing something else you don't want to do!

My daughter had just had a baby, and she wanted to quit the nursery. Hell, most jobs give you maternity leave, but not the Mormons. They argued that my daughter could bring her newborn infant to the nursery, and even breastfeed there, and that would be ideal (Mormons don't believe in germs.) They said she could sit down most of the time, and it wouldn't be strenuous. She knew they were lying, because there were always toys to pick up, and children to carry, etc. They offered her a "compromise" that she could do the nursery thing every-other-week. That was not a compromise, because she wanted ZERO nursery time, and she didn't owe it to the cult to negotiate with them.

Choose only ONE person you will tell. Don't get suckered into having to tell several others. I would go to the person in charge (the bishop?) Use the "broken record" technique, that is part of assertiveness training, and rehearse the dialog:

You: "Today is my last day in the nursery."

Bishop: "Are you going out of town, or something?"

You: "I won't be volunteering in the nursery anymore."

Bishop: Why?

You: "I've thought about it, and have decided not to work in the nursery anymore."

Bishop: "But we need you."

You: "Today is my last day."

Bishop: "Can you come the next few weeks, until we find someone to take your place?"

You: "No, today is my last day."

Bishop: "Can you call around and find someone else to be in the nursery, to take your place?"

You: "No. I'm finished, as of today."

Bishop: "Would you rather teach in the Primary?"

You: "No, I'm taking a break."

Bishop: "You can't take a break from a calling."

You: "I'm not going to volunteer anymore."

Bishop: "The other ladies in the nursery are going to be upset about this."

You: "Well. Today is my last day in the nursery."

Mother who knows, that is a PERFECT conversation to have when leaving a calling, or refusing to do anything that they try to insist that you do!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/18/2018 08:53AM by Aquarius123.

Don't quit, and be the nursery person you wish you'd had growing up.

F### that!

I ran into this when I was just starting to go inactive. Somewhere in the back of my head, things were starting to unravel, but I still "wanted" to believe, it's hard to let go of years of training...

I was a teacher in primary at the time. My wife had several health issues and she was fully inactive (she had gotten to the point with the church simply driving into the church parking lot gave her severe panic attacks, I wasn't going to subject her to that, no matter how much I believed). At the time I felt like I really needed to be with people my own age that I could talk to and get support from, not being the only man in primary, where the women would barely talk to me. I needed friends.

Anyway, I NEEDED to be released, for the reasons above and more. It was causing too many problems. I made the mistake of calling the Bishop first. He "strongly felt" that I shouldn't be released and he wouldn't be doing so. This hurt a lot. I had explained all the reasons I needed to be released and I felt like it was a good and right decision. This ward was not hurting for people would could teach in primary.

After thinking about it for a while, I realized that I had been called by the Primary President, not the Bishop. I called her and explained the situation. She was sympathetic, got a substitute teacher till they could fill the position "permanently" and immediately released me, saying it would be official as soon as next week, not to worry and to take care of my family.

This experienced, especially with how the bishop handled things, was another nail in the coffin for my belief.

Anyway, the point of my story is to remember that YOU are in control of your life. If you want out, don't ask, inform them that you are done. You are allowed to stop doing volunteer work, no matter how "inspired" you believe them to be, you know your life better than anyone, don't let them talk you out of a decision you know is right. I like the broken record approach above.

Good Luck!