The farther i heal the more i come to realize this may be the best option. It's the best chance i have to never be locked up again i think, either physically or mentally. I was institutionalized the day i was born in that operation. I have never known true freedom from a mental or physical standpoint. Like throwing a bird that has been caged it's entire life to fly in the wild. That bird does not know how to be free even without the cage.

Once a life lesson has been learned, and any "loose threads" have been dealt with to the extent possible, it is time to move on.

Tevai Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Once a life lesson has been learned, and any
> "loose threads" have been dealt with to the extent
> possible, it is time to move on.

Right.

There’s a reason the windshield is bigger than the rear-view mirror.

kathleen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There’s a reason the windshield is bigger than
> the rear-view mirror.

Hmm well said.

To hit more bugs.

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
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> To hit more bugs.

Mormon bugs? Haha jk kind of.

But...!!

"Those who do not learn from their past may be doomed to repeat it."
--Judic West, paraphrasing George Santayana

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> But...!!
>
> "Those who do not learn from their past may be
> doomed to repeat it."
> --Judic West, paraphrasing George Santayana

Well said.

But mama, that’s where the fun is.

You’re like the Frank Sinatra song “My Way”. You had to do it your way because all the wheels fell off of “their way”, so thanks for nothing, and while you paid a lot of money for that car, sorry no refunds.

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You’re like the Frank Sinatra song “My Way”.
> You had to do it your way because all the wheels
> fell off of “their way”, so thanks for
> nothing, and while you paid a lot of money for
> that car, sorry no refunds.

Definitely no refunds just another hard lesson for the badass.

Howdy my Badass friend! I’m not too keen on all-for-nothing thinking. Put those things in the past that you can, and learn to not give a fuck about those things that still need to be a part of you.

I think most people, myself included, wished that we could start fresh with a new life, knowing what we know now. That can’t happen. But, we can move forward changing what we can and figuring out how to deal with those presistent pests.

Here’s one for you. Out of all my wife’s TBM relatives, she has a brother whom I think is fairly down to earth. I thought that until yesterday. See, the wanker told me he had been doing genealogy (no problem) and .... had traced one of his family lines back to Adam (not you, the biblical Adam). I smiled, but in my mind I thought, holy fuck-a-roo, I guess he’s not so normal after all!” I didn’t have to say or do anything but smile.

You’re a quality man, Badass! I love your sense of humor, I enjoy cussing with you, and both of us laughing at the Morg!

You're a good man boner and your wisdom and experience has helped me greatly through this difficult journey. I hope to one day not to be hindered by anything.

And you say that things will be a part of me like you know they will never go away. Like mental scars or something?

I don’t know if I’m that good of a man. But I do try to treat everyone with dignity and respect. In your case, you’re easy to love because you’re sincerely putting your life together in spite of a lot of shit. I hope my earthy humor lets you know that things we sometimes worry about in ourselves are pretty much common with a lot of people. I see a lot of my younger self in you, Badass. Thanks for being a friend here, and ?I promise that if I’m elected to VP I’ll wear my best well-worn jeans and rock and roll T-shirt.

Alright jeans and a t-shirt is all i ask for. I'll be secretay of state with my shades on trying to make the country badass again because lord knows we need it. I don't know how my story will play out from here boner and that is a crazy thing. I cheated death but i have had a hell of a time getting a real life rolling without bullsh#t that is for sure. My family are zombies and same with the mormons. I'm trying to build a real life around zombies basically. The walking dead badass.

Well, tracing your geneology to Adam is no small feat. Most people get stuck at cousin Ook. I’ve traced my geneology to the first microbe 3.8 billion years ago. Naturally, I’ve had to do some extrapolation.

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, tracing your geneology to Adam is no small
> feat. Most people get stuck at cousin Ook. I’ve
> traced my geneology to the first microbe 3.8
> billion years ago. Naturally, I’ve had to do
> some extrapolation.

:D

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, tracing your geneology to Adam is no small
> feat. Most people get stuck at cousin Ook. I’ve
> traced my geneology to the first microbe 3.8
> billion years ago. Naturally, I’ve had to do
> some extrapolation.

Tracing myself to adam is actually quite easy. Not sure what the big deal is. I should use that line to impress "i traced myself to adam". The king of geneology right here.

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I’ve traced my geneology to the first microbe 3.8
> billion years ago.

I knew we were brothers and sisters here, now I have proof!

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I’ve traced my geneology to the first microbe
> 3.8
> > billion years ago.
>
> I knew we were brothers and sisters here, now I
> have proof!

Aaww sh#t had a feeling i was related to the boner. Our single-celled ancestors totally got together. Son of a b#tch haha.

Many of us who hang out on this forum are still dealing with past issues associated with Mormonism or just life + Mormonism. It is especially difficult for those of us who live with "died in the wool" tbm' family and extended family.

This Dr. seems to have some understanding of how and why this is that we get locked into habit forming emotional mind sets and how to deal with them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La9oLLoI5Rc

Felix Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Many of us who hang out on this forum are still
> dealing with past issues associated with Mormonism
> or just life + Mormonism. It is especially
> difficult for those of us who live with "died in
> the wool" tbm' family and extended family.
>
> This Dr. seems to have some understanding of how
> and why this is that we get locked into habit
> forming emotional mind sets and how to deal with
> them.
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La9oLLoI5Rc

Wow that video was nuts. Well guess i kind of understand why my mind is stuck in the past and is on repeat mode.

and it has been good, but it isn't perfect either. It has taught me a good lesson about life. I had some good years with my ex and MOST OF THE TIME, I don't regret the time we had together. Some days I do, but not very many anymore. It was this board that really helped me with that, getting through so much regret.

I've got good kids who I love with all my heart (even if one is TBM) and I have had some great dogs. I had good parents, not perfect by any means, but better than most I read about on this board. I realized when I lost them that I had had a good life.

Mormonism taught me something about myself--that I am okay OUTSIDE of mormonism, but I never was as a mormon. I've been able to help my siblings who left before I did, but never thought it through, just had to escape. They NEVER thought I'd leave, so to realize I don't believe has been really helpful to them.

So it is what it is. Life isn't perfect, but it is a hell of a lot better now than it was as a mormon.

Oh, and I've noticed something in Utah, that more people are going to Sunday movies than when I first started going to movies on Sunday. That tells me something.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2018 08:42PM by cl2.

I have noticed that i am okay outside of mormonism as well. I don't think i was made for that religion in any way shape or form. I haven't been struck down for leaving as they make you believe. I just need to get stronger without a religion. The patterns that i was forced into growing up are hard to shake from the brain. I know my family thinks i am going to hell but i am just existing like any other person, i just don't want to be in a mindf#ck any more. I want my mind to be healthy again, and i mean totally healthy.