Neither sounds very practical to me.

Expecting to stay with the same partner for life is a stretch for those who're divorced or had multiple partners.

For anyone in a bad marriage, even a lifetime is as good as a death sentence for someone who is unhappily married.

If someone is happily wed, can see why they may want to spend eternity with their beloved, if that were possible. Otherwise, why bother?

Well don't leave us hanging!!!

Tell us what to do!

Or at least what you're going to!!

I agree Amyjo. The 'till death do you part" deal was not part of our wedding vows. But I feel my late wife's aura in our home. And I don't give a damn about eternal life or for time or all eternity but it is what it is.

I tend to believe that myself, Ron.

My late (and favorite) aunt on my dad's side used to talk to her mother after my grandmother had died, in her livingroom. She felt her presence there with her that close.

Then my stepdad would tell me the same thing about my mom, after she passed away. He felt her there with him constantly.

I didn't feel her spirit was at peace either for quite some time. But on the morning he passed away 2-3 years after mom went, is the same morning I finally sensed my mother's spirit was at peace. I didn't know he'd passed until two days later, when my brother called to tell me. She came to say goodbye around the same time he passed away that morning. I sensed they left together this world for the next.

I told him that time and all eternity with him felt a lot longer than the real thing. I'm not very good at being assertive and men tend to walk all over me. I would go lie down when he'd get home as what I did was never enough.

So now I choose NOT to live with my boyfriend. I tried it. It didn't work. BUT my therapist says that the big trend, especially for someone my age, is to be MLS, married living separate. I haven't looked it up yet. Don't plan on marrying either, but he said to read about it.

My aunt married an ass. That isn't even a good enough word for him. She is outgoing and friendly and I think she still does realtor work at age 80 because it gets her out of the house and away from him. I have to believe she hopes that it isn't for time and all eternity. My dad was difficult, but she was envious of my mother for having my dad as a husband (and at least my dad was handsome and earned a living!!!).

I think I was meant to live alone, but I've said before, I'd rather share my husband with other men than other women.

In reality, marriage probably was just not for me. People aren't one size fits all like the mormon church wants us to believe.

Oh, but if you don't marry, you get to be a servant to those who are. Being single in mormonism is a living hell. In fact, another aunt lost her husband when she was in her 60s (he was 11 years older than she was). She was SHOCKED how the ward treated her once he had died. She had been in the ward her entire married life and he had been one of the bishops, but she was relegated to the back bench with other singles once he died.

Not to be a downer, but my parents are in a MLS relationship and both are stibutmiserable. I feel if you're not going to live with someone and you're married, just divorce. Yeah it will be hard, especially with kids, but having your father not living in the same house and is still married to mom sucks the perverbial b@lls.

I don't have kids with him. I have 2 of my own kids (one lives with me) and he has 2 kids of his own who don't live anywhere near us. My daughter doesn't live anywhere near us either. I am 61 and he is 65. We have been together since I was 47.

That is the age group my therapist is talking about. He said when you get to be this age, most people are set in their ways, etc. He actually just remarried and he is 59 and they live together, but she has her own home and her son lives there.

So this is not in a situation where we are parents of children.

He is very territorial and he doesn't like it if I even move a paper even if I clean his house, which he wanted me to do, but I no longer do as he can't stand someone moving anything even though he is a horrible housekeeper. We lived together for a year some years back and we got along when he was traveling to California 5 days a week and I was at his house working and taking care of his dog.

I think all deals should be up for renegotiation or cancellation every few years at the least. Obligation, duty, sticking to a deal you signed up for when you were young and naive aren't high ideals to me. Enduring to the end only has a positive meaning if you are being held captive in a cave or hanging from a rope from a burning building. In a marriage it's kind of ugly.

You shouldn't stay unless you just can't tear yourself away. Then you have something. Then renewing your vows has meaning.

Variety is the spice of life so why not the spice of eternal life as well? I think "same-old/same-old" all the time may turn someone into a personage who kills with floods, famine, pestilence and throws in a plague of frogs just for fun when he's not turning rivers blood red.

How many wives *does* one need to keep things hot for an eternity?

Why have I heard so many women say outliving their husbands was their reward for putting up with them even if there was love?

I could go on . . .





. . . and on and on . . .

Easy-on, Easy-off relationships may sound appealing, but there's something to be said for the death-do-us-part vows. When my marriage was failing, it was the glue that helped us work threw problems and repair our relationship. It provides distinct rights to both parties, and serves as an inhibitor to the destructive appeal of casual dissatisfaction and restlessness. When I was young, a lady through me over (smart girl!) for another. I was appalled when somebody "consoled" me with the "hope" that her marriage might fail, and I could get her on the rebound. Not my idea of marriage, or my hopes for her happiness, in the least.

Divorce, even amicable ones, are hard on children--even adult children. I realize that some people are so destructive and some marriages so dysfunctional that separation and divorce are the proper remedy, but for the general population and culture, divorce is the inferior option.

Edited for spelling correction.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/04/2018 10:42PM by caffiend.

https://www.google.com/search?q=To+infinity+and+beyond+Toy+Story&client=firefox-b-1-ab&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=6dK-7d7UThrG8M%253A%252C0Q8E36O85r-R0M%252C_&usg=__4YJE_oYP63HmdOyepbw5875XQ5Q%3D&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwisrOuBg4bcAhWZJDQIHfgnBiUQ9QEIMzAF#imgrc=s-WNtbkU0gxUSM:

Pay Lay Alol

Yep, being single in tscc sucks. Before I married the asshole that I married, I was asked to babysit frequently and for free. I being the big sucker that I was would always help out. Then, between the teaching, then at church teaching primary, and the babysitting, I burned out. Big time. So, I started to tell people no. Would you believe they got pissed and bowed up at me, as if they were the bosses and that was my paid job!!!! I could not believe it. So here is another example of conditional mormon love. How tacky!

My old friends from high school even would ask me to babysit for them AFTER I worked a full day. Then they'd come home late and I'd have to get up for work at 5 a.m. And I did it for free. Stupid me. And like you experienced, when I told them no it was as though I was shirking my duties.

My mother also volunteered me to babysit in the R.S. nursery (she was in the presidency). At the time, I worked swing shift at the IRS. I never had a say.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/06/2018 10:25PM by cl2.

Fortunately, for those who have difficulty living with a spouse for a few years here, marriage is an 'earthly thing' only!

Based on my past life experiences, we all marry someone in our soul group but it is for this life only. We just come here to gain experiences and learn hopefully from them. I previously was married to my current grand daughter in a previous life when my current wife was my mother.

PS My current wife hates when I call her Mom. Maybe that is why so many wives appear to be mothers to their husbands ----- because they were in previous lives.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/04/2018 03:11PM by spiritist.

Amyjo, I’ve thought about these in a different context.

In the temple ceremony, a marriage covenant is made with God.

In traditional marriage vows, the covenant is between the two people.

Frankly, I want God out of my marriage. I want my wife to make commitments to me, and me to her.

I want us to be there for each other through good times, rough times, sicknesses, riches, happy times, sad times or poverty.

That’s a marriage, not that I promise to be faith to a church and/or to God. Marriage is an earthly experience with people in love.

Hugs! Boner

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Frankly, I want God out of my marriage. I want my
> wife to make commitments to me, and me to her.

In the traditional Christian ceremony, marriage is "an honorable estate" and the vows are made "before God and these witnesses." Thus, dear chum, God has a place in a marriage. I contend that the problem between a MollyMo and a Christian ExMo is that they are beholding to two different gods, one a counterfeit and the other the real one. "Two masters" in a very real sense.

So don't have a "traditional Christian ceremony..." :)

I didn't. My Catholic wife, despite pressure from her family to only get married in the Catholic church, felt the same as our Boner pal above. That what mattered was our commitment to each other, not whether "god" was involved or not.

So we did the "contract" at the local courthouse (which, in the Philippines, is the only legally-binding marriage ceremony that matters). Then we did our "fun" wedding on a beach, with someone (who had no religious or civil office of any kind) running the show, but having us read our own vows, and not inserting "god" into things. Even a bunch of the previously-critical-of-my-wife Catholics who attended said it was a wonderful ceremony.

I *like* their separation of church and state in the marriage business in the Philippines. The legal part is handled on its own, and doesn't involve any religion. Anything else you do, or don't do, for a "ceremony" is up to you. Amazing that in a vastly majority-Catholic country (where something like 80% of people who get married DO have a Catholic wedding), they pulled that off. The "church" wedding is entirely an optional religious ceremony -- have it, don't have it, whatever. It's not what legal marriage there is.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/05/2018 10:55AM by ificouldhietokolob.

Or, just don’t bother to get married :).

My Catholic wife and I were married on the patio of my folks farm home. Officiating was my former bishop and my wife had no problem with that as he was a dear friend.

My brother knew a woman in their ward from years ago who was married in proxy to a man that died in the last world war. She lived in a farmhouse in the country. One day she watched a man in a white suit and tophat, with a walking stick walking around her house, peering through her windows. She recognized him as the man she'd loved who'd died years before, when they were both very young. She believed it was his spirit coming back searching for her.

She was given permission by SLC to marry him in proxy in the Mormon temple. And so they were. I didn't know that was possible before my brother had mentioned it to me. When I asked my bishop at the time, he said it has happened and is available in certain cases.

Weird, huh?

a woman in our ward got permission to be sealed to her boyfriend who had died.