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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 09, 2018 05:51PM

The revelation was closer to Independence, Missouri than Salt Lake City, Utah.

http://www.homeofslicedbread.com/

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: July 09, 2018 06:41PM

Mormonism: worst thing since sliced bread?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 09, 2018 06:43PM

LOL! Just think how Mormonism has been enhanced each Sunday by this revelation!

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: July 09, 2018 07:04PM

Indeed!
One of early "um, what?" church moments came as a 16 year-old, and involving this revelation. The teacher (penishood office, not occupation) assigned to bring the Wonder (tm) bread for the Sunday ritual had forgotten his duty, leaving the assembled Poway II ward without bread to go with its water.

Reacting quickly, the bishop hands me a $5 bill, and tells me to run over to the local Safeway in Rancho Bernardo (about 3 miles away), and buy 2 loaves. 'Cause, you know, we couldn't buy just one and do a loaves & fishes miracle, since there was no fish.

So off I scoot, on an officially ordained holy mission to support the heathens working on the sabbath by buying their mushy wares instead of attending the beginning of Sacrament Meeting. I returned just in time to stride up to the holy table, a wrapped, white & delightsome loaf in each hand, and save the holy day -- giving myself and the other two priests something to tear up and say the magic words over.

The very next week, I had my bishop interview. When I mentioned to him that I had to work the occasional Sunday at Jack-in-the-Box to keep my job, he read me the riot act for doing unholy things on the Lord's holy sabbath. At which point, of course, I brought up the week before, where he'd priesthoodly-ordered me to go shop on Sunday, and asked why it was OK for him to tell me to do that, but not OK for me to work one Sunday a month or so (and at night, so I didn't miss any church)...

"That was different!" he bellowed.

Yeah, no it wasn't. Crack goes the shelf.
All because of sliced bread. :)

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 10, 2018 01:18PM

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "That was different!" he bellowed.
>
> Yeah, no it wasn't. Crack goes the shelf.
> All because of sliced bread. :)


So Mormon - conditional rule breaking. Just look at Joseph Smith having no polygamy (as a token compliment to God-darkened people) in The Book of Mormon and then him using it to sexually prey upon women telling them he was "marrying" them.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: July 09, 2018 08:06PM


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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 10, 2018 01:16PM

Beautiful.

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Posted by: BeckyM ( )
Date: July 10, 2018 02:22PM

But the city of Zion is in ILLINOIS. HAHA

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 10, 2018 04:17PM

Good one.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: July 10, 2018 02:28PM

When I was growing up, I was always taught the cradle of civilization was in Africa....and then the cult tells me it's in Missouri?? WTF?

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: July 10, 2018 03:45PM

Ha! Better than Missouri sliced bread is the throwed rolls. Our favorite place:

https://throwedrolls.com/

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 10, 2018 04:17PM

Love Lamberts.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 17, 2018 06:25PM

From my daily calendar yesterday. Been meaning to post to this.

"Just fifteen years after it was introduced, pre-sliced bread was banned from store shelves by the U.S. government. World War II's weaponry and other wartime necessities were considered more important than manufacturing bread-slicing machines, so U.S. residents had to do without sliced bread for a couple of months in 1943."

So Elohim and Jehovah let the slicing of the bread stop for awhile for a war. I wonder if Mormons were stressed at having to slice their own sacrament bread?

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