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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: July 10, 2018 03:40PM

I've posted a lot about taking my power back and owning it in my Very Personal Exit Process from Mormonism aka Changing My Mind. I grew up with the adage: "It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind." And I did. Many times, about a lot of subjects, people, etc.

Internalizing the principle of owning my own power has become the most self affirming, proactive, powerful thing I have ever done as an adult female. And, I've endeavored to do it with an attitude of gratitude. Also, very powerful as my perspective changed. Nothing can disturb my peace of mind when I own my own power. No one else has the power to offend me, for instance. I've jokingly said, I'm too lazy to bother with it.

I've given myself permission to allow my World View to evolve; trying out ideas/notions/principles, determining what works for me without acquiescing to those that would invade and control my life on any level, whatsoever. I've come up with a simple phrase that works 100%, all the time: "Make Nice."

I've made many concrete changes from my life living it as a believing Mormon. It started with using my own mind, using common sense, critical thinking skills, asking questions, finding what could be answered with facts and what could not.

I've determined that I have no need to place any faith in metaphysical, visionary claims that are encapsulated into religious form as some kind of pseudo evidence. What I previously believed as fact; upon gaining "further light and knowledge" was, in fact, a combination of plagiarisms, untruths, illegalities, fraud, scam, hoax, all beautifully clothed in religious trappings, requiring great faith.

The process of leaving the invasive, controlling, teachings in Mormonism is a daunting undertaking.
Deleting and changing the automatic thinking scripts can take years as they are so well ingrained by subtle, and not so subtle imprinting from the unrelenting repetition.

Now, I am free. It is a kind of freedom that has no bounds;no fear of repercussions or punishments, from artificial religious beliefs and teachings.

In the process of leaving the artificial overlay of religious teachings from Mormonism, I've examined all of my life, before converting, during and after. I've learned to make peace with all of my life. I've learned not to take any of what has happened, personally. What others do is about them, not me. Forgive, not forget, let go. I have no regrets. I learned about human behavior and how it could influence me and all of the pressures of life that can be brought to bear upon me.

My new World View is composed of the ideas, principles and notions that I find work. I'm a believer in Universal Principles such as: Love one another, and The Golden Rule; treat others as you want to be treated.

The older I become, the more I realize that life is very, very short. Living in peace, enjoying life and getting to the laughter is what it's all about. I'm happy to have lived as long as I have. I've managed to out live two generations in my direct family. As long as I am able, I will spread the good word: take your power back and own it, live in peace and get to the laughter.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2018 03:43PM by SusieQ#1.

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: July 11, 2018 12:02PM

I don't quite know how to put in words how I've taken my power back as there are so many ways, and yet I still struggle with taking my power back in other ways, but not mormon ways. I guess they are mormon ways. Men. I have issues with men. All men. I get along great with my brothers and my son, etc., but I let men control me and I have to fight it constantly. Back in therapy for it. I hate having to be assertive.

I think one of the biggest things I did was to resign. I never knew how much it would help me, but it did. Just that small act.

I wrote to those who used and abused me--leaders--and told them what I thought of what they did to us. And I also told them to leave me alone and keep their wives out of my business (after 34 years you'd think the singles ward wives of bishopric would stay out of my business).

My son wrote a poem about what I did in all those years, that I bought all of us out of the dark. It was very dark.

I "chased" the guy I wished I had married and he and i have been together for 13-1/2 years. I let him go once. I wasn't letting my chance go again.

Another big thing is I went for therapy and that has helped me probably the most. I couldn't have done the above without my therapist.

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: July 13, 2018 11:42AM

SuzieQ#1, this is a great post, and I don’t want it to go around the bend either.

I claimed power at the tender age of 60-something. It’s been more fun and full of love than I can describe.

Cl2, I “chased” my husband too! My DIL “chased” my son. We women talked these men into the best deal of their lives! :D

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Posted by: emmahailyes ( )
Date: July 13, 2018 01:09PM

I was also in my 60's when I fought the fight. My husband still thinks I'll come back.. Hah! Viewing the cult with clear eyes and a therapist who had been married to a Mormon changed my life. I began to see ¥how I'd been manipulated by many others including TBMH. Of course, he used the cult to get his way a lot. My many doubts were my unrichesness.

A couple days ago, I met up with old LDS friends. Hadn't seen them in a few years. My hubby has been in a nursing home for the last 3 months. Before they left they advised me on how to communicate better with hubby. FLASH BACK! So glad to be free!

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Posted by: jay ( )
Date: July 13, 2018 06:59PM

I never gave it up. I laughed, I reasoned, I mocked and then years later hired some of these well-trained vacuum salesmen and laughed some more as I got a great return on my investment of time with their help. Poetic justice.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 13, 2018 11:55PM

Taking your power back...

Who did you give it to you, or allow to it from you? These are rhetorical questions. Doesn't matter who or how, just that you got it back.

When you do something, or don't do something, because you're worried what someone else 'might' think or say, that's giving away your power.

I've harped on this before: don't please other people ahead of yourself unless really good sex is involved.

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Posted by: Testiphony (can’t login) ( )
Date: July 15, 2018 10:53AM

I’ve had some showdowns at massage school with some women who don’t understand that it’s not ok to announce their distaste for men in a professional or public setting. They are still confused why I wouldn’t be charmed by “men are dogs” or “if men had to give birth, we’d be extinct.”

Men need to take their power back too. I don’t know why more of us don’t speak up when third wave feminism pushes too far. Fear of rocking the boat, fear of losing sex, fear of being grouped together with guys like Bill Cosby or Harvey Weinstein.

Men are bullied into our current molds. We aren’t allowed to be sensitive or dainty; there is little genuine expression of feelings among American men. At least women have each other.
“Acceptable” male expression is surly and angry, and no one even wants to listen to that.

Well screw em. I wear women’s panties.

Let’s also not forget that, while men make up most of the demographics of sexual predation, women commit sex crimes as well. Both my parents molested me as a baby and toddler, only one of them had Y chromosomes.

This is not a “man’s world.” This is a “white person’s world.”

Thanks for listening. Have a good Sunday.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: July 15, 2018 03:00PM

Testiphony (can’t login) Wrote:
I agree. There is enough bashing and disrespect both from within and without on both sides. I'm not a fan of any of it.
And yes. men give their power away in Mormonism, (which is at the core of my post), just as women do. They just do it a little differently. Mormonism demands obedience as the first law of heaven and earth.

Men and women obey and give their power away while they are obeying an outside source, (Mormonism as the ultimate authority), while claiming they are doing what is right. They have no clue, much of the time, what they have actually done.

As a convert, I was a bit of a rebel, and a little feisty which didn't sit well with many of the men. Generational women, often didn't understand me either. A few times, I got cross-wise of the all knowing all powerful priesthood leaders when they were what I often said - not even Christian. Sometimes, the most bizarre, illogical, irrational behavior was considered acceptable.

Changing my mind about my World View as constructed in Mormonism meant that I could be the authentic me. There was no need for me to adopt anyone else's idea of: where I came from and why I am here, or anything else. Whew. What freedom!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2018 03:01PM by SusieQ#1.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: July 15, 2018 07:39PM

I never wanted to be a man in mormonism. There are the "select few" who are leaders and then there are a lot of men who are treated worse than the women are. I never wanted the priesthood, didn't want to pass the sacrament or collect FO.

I'm sure that many men given away their power to other men because we were taught that way in mormonism. I have a difficult time fighting it.

I also am not a feminist and I don't agree with a lot of what they stand for. If we are going to be fighting for equal rights, then we have to give equal rights to the men, too. Why is it that the divorce laws are so pro female and males don't get custody of their kids very often and hen the man is expected to be held hostage the rest of their lives financially.

Women also DON'T have each other. I've always gotten along better with men than women. I worked with 20 men and a few women. The women were very difficult. Most of the men were great. Not all though. I have very few women friends. I get along much better with my brothers than my sisters, too. Women are catty and back stabbing. Not all, but many are.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2018 07:40PM by cl2.

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