"Oh, Heavenly Father, who didn't stop the Holocaust, please help
me find my car keys."

Curiously, it only works for VWs and BMWs.

And Heavenly father, thank you for protecting my child when the school bus had that horrible accident last week.
Never mind the two children who died in the accident, clearly they weren't as special and deserving of your magical protection as me and my child. Thank you for recognizing that.


(based on actual comments from a mormon relative)

Thank you god for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JipYDDXo5C0

Thanks, gawd for intervening when my type 1 diabetic 16 year old son was in DKA and died (19 years ago).

That would have been nice if you did. But alas, he's a missionary on the other side of the veil now. You needed him for some great purpose.

:(

-Snarky, I miss my son, Dennis

I HOPE no one said to you that he is a missionary on the other side, but I assume they did. How horrible!

"Bless this food to nourish and strengthen our bodies---even as buzzards circle the bodies of babies and children in Africa."

Bless this land, thanks for our abundance, send moisture to the farmers, stop the forest fires...

(even though we have multiple 4 car garages, boats, jet skis, snow mobiles, four wheelers, heated drive ways, and make our undocumented gardener drive 60 miles to prune our bushes, and built our spread over the habitat of endangered wild life, and cut down rain forests in 3rd world countries for our wainscotting in our Mormon temples)

UGGG!!! YES!!! That has always bugged me so much!!!

The whole oh thank you for helping me find my keys but not stopping the halocaust thing ugg does that bug me! And theres that cokeville miracles movie where everyones like oh God thank you for saving my kids but nevermind the kids who didn't get so lucky in other school violence!